Eek!Cards Archives - Where the Hell Was I?

Posts: Eek!Cards

Oct 18, 2014: Greece Is Indeed the Word
Apr 28, 2013: Eek!Cards #265: Grandma, What's a GeoCities?
Apr 26, 2013: Eek!Cards #264: How Would You Feel About Nipples McCrotch?
Apr 25, 2013: Eek!Cards #263: You've Got Some Eyeliner on Your... Well, Everything
Apr 24, 2013: Eek!Cards #262: You Ty-D-Bol Me Over
Apr 22, 2013: Eek!Cards #261: Plenty of Room on Mars, I'm Just Saying
Apr 21, 2013: Eek!Cards #260: The Chess King Says You're Deported
Apr 20, 2013: Eek!Cards #259: Love, Post-Apocalyptically
Apr 18, 2013: Eek!Cards #258: She Dewey Decimals Me, She Dewey Decimals Me Not
Apr 17, 2013: Eek!Cards #257: At Least My Upper Lip Is Stiff
Apr 16, 2013: Eek!Cards #256: Go for the Throat
Apr 14, 2013: Eek!Cards #255: Feed a Fever, But You're Still Old
Apr 13, 2013: Eek!Cards #254: Also, Did You Keep the Receipt?
Apr 12, 2013: Eek!Cards #253: Sittin' in a Tree, IRS-S-I-N-G
Apr 10, 2013: Eek!Cards #252: You Might Want to Wipe That Off, Kid
Apr 09, 2013: Eek!Cards #251: You're a Maniac, Maniac!
Apr 08, 2013: Eek!Cards #250: Shake It Like Schrodinger, Dummy
Apr 06, 2013: Eek!Cards #249: My Pancreas Aches for You
Apr 05, 2013: Eek!Cards #248: You're Number One! You're Number One!
Apr 04, 2013: Eek!Cards #247: Also, Can I Borrow Your Car?
Apr 02, 2013: Eek!Cards #246: Or Possibly Culture Club Karaoke
Apr 01, 2013: Eek!Cards #245: On Line 83 of Form 129A, Write 'LOL WUT?'
Mar 31, 2013: Eek!Cards #244: Unless Babar Is in Your Back Yard?
Mar 29, 2013: Eek!Cards #243: Amen, Garcon
Mar 28, 2013: Eek!Cards #242: Pony Up, Holiday Hairball
Mar 26, 2013: Eek!Cards #241: The Most (Golden) Delicious Revenge
Mar 25, 2013: Eek!Cards #240: There's Always 'When Appetizers Attack'
Mar 24, 2013: Eek!Cards #239: These Picks Ain't Picasso
Mar 22, 2013: Eek!Cards #238: I Want Half the Sour Cream, and Every Other Jalapeno
Mar 21, 2013: Eek!Cards #237: A Friend in Deep Freeze is a Friend, Indeed
Mar 20, 2013: Eek!Cards #236: Love Is Just a Steadily-Decreasing Number, Apparently
Mar 18, 2013: Eek!Cards #235: Spring's Forward, You're Back
Mar 17, 2013: Eek!Cards #234: Like Dolly the Sheep... Or the Parton
Mar 16, 2013: Eek!Cards #233: So Long As We Both Buy You Midol
Mar 14, 2013: Eek!Cards #232: Or Completely Non-Magical Pixie Dust
Mar 13, 2013: Eek!Cards #231: Would a Threesome with Boiled Cabbage Be Weird?
Mar 12, 2013: Eek!Cards #230: Everybody's Having a Ball!
Mar 10, 2013: Eek!Cards #229: I'm an AlphaBitch Gal, Myself
Mar 09, 2013: Eek!Cards #228: How the Hell Did He Get In There?
Mar 07, 2013: Eek!Cards #227: A_N'T L_VE A B_TCH?
Mar 06, 2013: Eek!Cards #226: Blood Is NOT Thicker Than This Deadbolt
Mar 05, 2013: Eek!Cards #225: The Foil Wrapping Is Optional
Mar 03, 2013: Eek!Cards #224: Less Queues, More Booze
Mar 02, 2013: Eek!Cards #223: Honey, It's Affecting Us All!
Feb 28, 2013: Eek!Cards #222: Think Smaller, More Legs
Feb 27, 2013: Eek!Cards #221: Mom Would Want It This Way, Bro
Feb 26, 2013: Eek!Cards #220: Parting Is Such Sweet Braaaaaains
Feb 24, 2013: Eek!Cards #219: But If It Comes Back to You, the Electric Fence Probably Worked
Feb 23, 2013: Eek!Cards #218: It's Like I've Opened Some Sort of Box
Feb 21, 2013: Eek!Cards #217: Does Anyone Else Feel a Draft?
Feb 19, 2013: Eek!Cards #216: Hey, At Least It's Not Salad Tongs
Feb 18, 2013: Eek!Cards #215: For All of Your Most Feeble Needs
Feb 17, 2013: Eek!Cards #214: Who Said Anything About 'Fault'?
Feb 15, 2013: Eek!Cards #213: But Baby, You Should See My 'Curlicues'
Feb 14, 2013: Eek!Cards #212: If You Dance with Saguaros, You're Gonna Get Pricked
Feb 13, 2013: Eek!Cards #211: All Aboard!
Feb 11, 2013: Eek!Cards #210: A Test Worth Cramming For?
Feb 10, 2013: Eek!Cards #209: Trading on the Pink Market
Feb 09, 2013: Eek!Cards #208: Three Strikes, and You're Single
Feb 07, 2013: Eek!Cards #207: Valentinespotting
Feb 06, 2013: Eek!Cards #206: Sometimes Correlation IS Causation
Feb 05, 2013: Eek!Cards #205: I Just Assume That's How the Lyrics Go
Feb 03, 2013: Eek!Cards #204: Step 1. I Admit You're a Problem
Feb 02, 2013: Eek!Cards #203: Either Way, You're Missing Some Serious Action
Feb 01, 2013: Eek!Cards #202: Who's a Good Little Minion?
Jan 30, 2013: Eek!Cards #201: It's a Mystery, Wrapped in an Idiot
Jan 29, 2013: Eek!Cards #200: I Feel Petty, Oh So Petty
Jan 28, 2013: Eek!Cards #199: Living High on the (Ground)Hog
Jan 26, 2013: Eek!Cards #198: It's the Pink Slip Pre-Tip
Jan 25, 2013: Eek!Cards #197: One Flu Into the Cuckoo's Chest
Jan 24, 2013: Eek!Cards #196: Better Luck Next Year
Jan 22, 2013: Eek!Cards #195: Bend Over, and Stop Coughing
Jan 21, 2013: Eek!Cards #194: Somebody Reboot This Romeo
Jan 20, 2013: Eek!Cards #193: All That Wiggles Is Not Toed
Jan 18, 2013: Eek!Cards #192: Hey, It Still Beats 'Less Than Four'
Jan 17, 2013: Eek!Cards #191: Screen Girls
Jan 16, 2013: Eek!Cards #190: It Does Not Mean What You Ink It Means
Jan 14, 2013: Eek!Cards #189: I Call It the Golden G-String Rule
Jan 13, 2013: Eek!Cards #188: You Give New Meaning to the Term 'Automailer'
Jan 12, 2013: Eek!Cards #187: Ford a River, Starve a Flu
Jan 10, 2013: Eek!Cards #186: You're Number One in My Heart
Jan 09, 2013: Eek!Cards #185: Yeah, It's a Virtue
Jan 08, 2013: Eek!Cards #184: I'm Behind You 80% of the Way
Jan 06, 2013: Eek!Cards #183: Puck-er Up, Sports Fans
Jan 05, 2013: Eek!Cards #182: Blessed Be the Premature Clickers
Jan 04, 2013: Eek!Cards #181: Let's See What He Stuffs in Your Stocking
Jan 02, 2013: Eek!Cards #180: So Screw 'Random Acts of Fitness'
Jan 01, 2013: Eek!Cards #179: Does This Make Me the 'Endo'?
Dec 31, 2012: Eek!Cards #178: Though I May Reconsider in the Morning
Dec 29, 2012: Eek!Cards #177: When Second-Best Won't Do
Dec 28, 2012: Eek!Cards #176: At Midnight, You People Are Dead to Me
Dec 27, 2012: Eek!Cards #175: My Bet Is On Saturday Afternoon
Dec 25, 2012: Eek!Cards #174: Let's Give It the Old Christmas Try
Dec 24, 2012: Eek!Cards #173: Making a List, Checking It Twice
Dec 23, 2012: Eek!Cards #172: Deck the Halls with Dry-Clean Sweaters
Dec 21, 2012: Eek!Cards #171: Mayan I Be Excused for the Day?
Dec 20, 2012: Eek!Cards #170: As an Elf, You're an 'F'
Dec 19, 2012: Eek!Cards #169: Deck the Halls with Jose Cuervo
Dec 17, 2012: Eek!Cards #168: Could I Still Touch You With a 501-Foot Pole?
Dec 16, 2012: Eek!Cards #167: Snap Into the Season!
Dec 15, 2012: Eek!Cards #166: Jingle Those Bells Down the Block, Sister
Dec 13, 2012: Eek!Cards #165: I'll Just Burn It With the Others
Dec 12, 2012: Eek!Cards #164: Keep Those Receipts, Sparky
Dec 11, 2012: Eek!Cards #163: I'm Not Putting Presents Under That
Dec 09, 2012: Eek!Cards #162: The South Just Fell, Again
Dec 08, 2012: Eek!Cards #161: Gifty Not-So-Nifty
Dec 07, 2012: Eek!Cards #160: Quit Ho-Ho-Hogging the Sweets, Kid
Dec 05, 2012: Eek!Cards #159: FYI, Now I'm Thinking About Cheese
Dec 04, 2012: Eek!Cards #158: Ask Me About My Prostate (in 140 Characters or Less)
Dec 03, 2012: Eek!Cards #157: Rinse and Spit, and Pay the Check, Please
Dec 01, 2012: Eek!Cards #156: Oh! Oh! Oh! O, Tannenbaum!
Nov 30, 2012: Eek!Cards #155: And No One Wants to See Your "Revolutionary" Dance, Boyo
Nov 29, 2012: Eek!Cards #154: Just Keep Your Mitts Off the Overhead Projector, Sparky
Nov 27, 2012: Eek!Cards #153: Give That Gal a Gatorade!
Nov 26, 2012: Eek!Cards #152: Some Firecrackers, You Just Can't Light
Nov 25, 2012: Eek!Cards #151: You Call That Journalism?
Nov 23, 2012: Eek!Cards #150: But Does It Pay the Rent?
Nov 22, 2012: Eek!Cards #149: Don't Hog the Boat, Auntie
Nov 21, 2012: Eek!Cards #148: Stuffing, Stuffing, Stuffed
Nov 19, 2012: Eek!Cards #147: Take the Apple Out of Your Mouth, Carl
Nov 18, 2012: Eek!Cards #146: But How Juicy Are Her Drumsticks?
Nov 17, 2012: Eek!Cards #145: Where the Rubber Hits the... uh, Never Mind
Nov 15, 2012: Eek!Cards #144: It's Like Watching Clarence Darrow... in Kindergarten
Nov 14, 2012: Eek!Cards #143: This Is Reel Love, Baby
Nov 13, 2012: Eek!Cards #142: You Put the "Stuff" in Stuffing
Nov 11, 2012: Eek!Cards #141: Nobody Ever Accused You of Driving a 'Smart Car'
Nov 10, 2012: Eek!Cards #140: This Is My Jacques Cousteau-oh!-oh!-oh! Face
Nov 09, 2012: Eek!Cards #139: Snap, Crackle and... Ew!
Nov 07, 2012: Eek!Cards #138: It's the Short Bus of Love
Nov 06, 2012: Eek!Cards #137: Hey, You've Already Proven You Have No Taste
Nov 05, 2012: Eek!Cards #136: You're the James May of Malt Liquor
Nov 03, 2012: Eek!Cards #135: I Say 'Hillshire', You Say 'Ewwwww!!'
Nov 02, 2012: Eek!Cards #134: You're Like Abe Vigoda, or Courtney Love
Nov 01, 2012: Eek!Cards #133: Bully for You, Bro!
Oct 31, 2012: Eek!Cards #132: It's a Hard Knox Life, Apparently
Oct 29, 2012: Eek!Cards #131: Kids Drink the Darnedest Thiiiiiiings
Oct 28, 2012: Eek!Cards #130: It's a Doppler-Dappled Downpour!
Oct 26, 2012: Eek!Cards #129: How About 'Lust After Jagerbombs'?
Oct 25, 2012: Eek!Cards #128: But I'm Rising in the Polls!
Oct 24, 2012: Eek!Cards #127: Nobody's Riding Your Broomstick Tonight
Oct 22, 2012: Eek!Cards #126: You're No Dope, I Hope
Oct 21, 2012: Eek!Cards #125: You're Praying Up the Wrong Tree, Sister
Oct 21, 2012: Eek!Cards #124: The Future's So Blight
Oct 19, 2012: Eek!Cards #123: Wait, Aren't They All?
Oct 18, 2012: Eek!Cards #122: Or Should That Be "M" for "My Butt, Monkeys Fly Out, When"?
Oct 17, 2012: Eek!Cards #121: But Apparently Not the Ears
Oct 15, 2012: Eek!Cards #120: Dear Bitchy McBitcherson...
Oct 14, 2012: Eek!Cards #119: The Seventy-Proof Solution
Oct 13, 2012: Eek!Cards #118: Man's Best Fiend
Oct 11, 2012: Eek!Cards #117: Especially If You're a 'Third Baseman'
Oct 10, 2012: Eek!Cards #116: We Call You 'Jane EyreallyneedaMidol'
Oct 09, 2012: Eek!Cards #115: And No, You Cannot "Show Me the Money"
Oct 07, 2012: Eek!Cards #114: The Juice Is (Nearly) Loose!
Oct 06, 2012: Eek!Cards #113: 'Not It!'
Oct 05, 2012: Eek!Cards #112: If That Thing Says 'Cheese', Kill It With Fire
Oct 03, 2012: Eek!Cards #111: Papping Is Such Sweet Sorrow
Oct 02, 2012: Eek!Cards #110: You're 'Appreciably' Something, All Right
Oct 01, 2012: Eek!Cards #109: Okay, It's a Little Bit You
Sep 29, 2012: Eek!Cards #108: Here I Sit, All Toasty-Bottomed
Sep 28, 2012: Eek!Cards #107: Hey, Grrrrrringo!
Sep 26, 2012: Eek!Cards #106: I Feel Bad for Me, Son
Sep 25, 2012: Eek!Cards #105: Whatever It Is You've Got, They're Not Running Out of It
Sep 24, 2012: Eek!Cards #104: Ho-Ho-How About That!
Sep 22, 2012: Eek!Cards #103: Actually, I Said I Could Tweet a Secret
Sep 21, 2012: Eek!Cards #102: Alternative Alternative Medicine
Sep 20, 2012: Eek!Cards #101: Terror by the Dashboard Light
Sep 19, 2012: Eek!-ing Out a Living
Sep 18, 2012: Eek!Cards #100: One Turkey Is All You Need
Sep 17, 2012: Eek!Cards #99: Beer's to a Good Education!
Sep 15, 2012: Eek!Cards #98: If It Comes Back to You, You May Have Developed a Gravitational Pull
Sep 14, 2012: Eek!Cards #97: Please Tell Me There Were Test Tubes Involved
Sep 13, 2012: Eek!Cards #96: Sometimes I Call You 'Asbestos'
Sep 11, 2012: Eek!Cards #95: Step Aside, Grandpa
Sep 10, 2012: Eek!Cards #94: Your Sickness, Yourself
Sep 09, 2012: Eek!Cards #93: It Puts the 'Meow' in Your Mu Shu
Sep 07, 2012: Eek!Cards #92: Come On In, the Water's... Uh... Yeah
Sep 06, 2012: Eek!Cards #91: I Call This Move the 'Headstone Hustle'
Sep 04, 2012: Eek!Cards #90: Now Let's Talk About Your Piehole
Sep 03, 2012: Eek!Cards #89: And Stop Setting Your Face As Everyone's Desktop
Sep 02, 2012: Eek!Cards #88: At Least You Found Your Calling
Aug 31, 2012: Eek!Cards #87: It's the Dog Days, In Your Dungarees
Aug 30, 2012: Eek!Cards #86: Can You Hooter Me Now?
Aug 29, 2012: Eek!Cards #85: Send a Feline, Save a Fern
Aug 27, 2012: Eek!Cards #84: Canoe Shut Yer Piehole, Please?
Aug 26, 2012: Eek!Cards #83: Unless You Have a Friend Who's Six Shots of Jagermeister
Aug 25, 2012: Eek!Cards #82: You Wear It Wacko
Aug 23, 2012: Eek!Cards #81: 1-900-YOU-SUCK
Aug 22, 2012: Eek!Cards #80: Who the Hell Told You to Major in 'Print Journalism', Anyway?
Aug 21, 2012: Eek!Cards #79: I Call It 'Emothenasia'
Aug 18, 2012: Eek!Cards #78: Living La Aqua Velva
Aug 17, 2012: Eek!Cards #77: It's the Opposite of Tumescited
Aug 16, 2012: Eek!Cards #76: My Memory's Been (Baby)Wiped!
Aug 14, 2012: Eek!Cards #75: Aw, Shoot!
Aug 13, 2012: Eek!Cards #74: We Won't Be Backstabbing, Backbiting or Backsassing You, Either
Aug 11, 2012: Eek!Cards #73: She's My Herradura Honey Bunny
Aug 10, 2012: Eek!Cards #72: Oh, You're "Bullish", All Right
Aug 09, 2012: Eek!Cards #71: Wait a Second... That's Not a Finger
Aug 07, 2012: Eek!Cards #70: She's Bear-ly Worth a Mention
Aug 06, 2012: Eek!Cards #69: Careful She Doesn't Slice Your Three-Wood
Aug 05, 2012: Eek!Cards #68: Perhaps, But They Sleep With One Eye Open
Aug 03, 2012: Eek!Cards #67: Everyone Has a Soulmate; Maybe Yours Is In Pyongyang
Aug 02, 2012: Eek!Cards #66: Meh, It Beats Weight Watchers
Jul 31, 2012: Eek!Cards #65: On the Bright Side, There's Nougat
Jul 30, 2012: Eek!Cards #64: Isn't She Pretty in Pampers?
Jul 29, 2012: Eek!Cards #63: Maybe She's Just GLaDOS to See You
Jul 27, 2012: Eek!Cards #62: If You Can't Keep It In Your Stables...
Jul 26, 2012: Eek!Cards #61: Did You Slay Something, Dear?
Jul 24, 2012: Eek!Cards #60: And You Wonder Why People Enter Politics
Jul 22, 2012: Eek!Cards #59: There Once Were Blinds, But Now I See!
Jul 21, 2012: Eek!Cards #58: Click, Click, BOOM!
Jul 19, 2012: Eek!Cards #57: I May Belated, But You Still Suck
Jul 18, 2012: Eek!Cards #56: You Put the NO! in Casanova
Jul 16, 2012: Eek!Cards #55: Or For That Matter, His Arms
Jul 15, 2012: Eek!Cards #54: You're Ready for the Facebook!
Jul 14, 2012: Eek!Cards #53: When You're Sick, All I See Is 'Matlock'
Jul 12, 2012: Eek!Cards #52: I'm Just Interpreting Scripture, Baby
Jul 10, 2012: Eek!Cards #51: And I'm All Out of Onion Dip
Jul 09, 2012: Eek!Cards #50: Always Leave Room to Negotiate
Jul 08, 2012: Eek!Cards #49: Hello, My Old Friend / New Liver
Jul 06, 2012: Eek!Cards #48: It Could Always Be Worse, Dummy
Jul 04, 2012: Eek!Cards #47: I Hear the Bottom of Lake Erie Is Nice This Time of Year, Too
Jul 03, 2012: Eek!Cards #46: Hey, At Least You're Bendy
Jul 01, 2012: Eek!Cards #45: Also, We Should Talk About the Shotput
Jun 30, 2012: Eek!Cards #44: Wild and Crazy Guy You Are, Yes?
Jun 28, 2012: Eek!Cards #43: You Never Listen, Dear
Jun 27, 2012: Eek!Cards #42: I Wouldn't Putter Past You
Jun 26, 2012: Eek!Cards #41: I'd Also Settle for Three Stuffed Olives
Jun 24, 2012: Eek!Cards #40: Here Comes the Bribe!
Jun 23, 2012: Eek!Cards #39: One Shwing! To Rule Them All
Jun 22, 2012: Eek!Cards #38: Til Epidural Do Us Part
Jun 20, 2012: Eek!Cards #37: Picasso, Schmicasso
Jun 19, 2012: Eek!Cards #36: A Geek Can Dream
Jun 17, 2012: Eek!Cards #35: I Would've Preferred Woogie
Jun 16, 2012: Eek!Cards #34: Do NOT Tickle Me, Elmo
Jun 15, 2012: Eek!Cards #33: Either Way, I Need a 'Tums'
Jun 14, 2012: Eek!Cards #32: Did You Check the Lost and Found?
Jun 12, 2012: Eek!Cards #31: The Smart Money's on Pooch Pooties
Jun 11, 2012: Eek!Cards #30: Shall I Help You Count the Ways?
Jun 10, 2012: Eek!Cards #29: You Don't Want Wrinkly Rat's Ass, Now, Do You?
Jun 08, 2012: Eek!Cards #28: It's Possible She Said 'Volkswagens'
Jun 07, 2012: Eek!Cards #27: I Was Just About to Say the Same, Dear
Jun 05, 2012: Eek!Cards #26: Although It Would Make a VERY Motivational Poster
Jun 04, 2012: Eek!Cards #25: We Have Arrrrr!-reconcilable Differences
Jun 02, 2012: Eek!Cards #24: First of All, These Are Opium Poppies
Jun 01, 2012: Eek!Cards #23: Like Romeo and Hershey's and That What's-Her-Name Girl
May 31, 2012: Eek!Cards #22: If the Gown's a-Rockin', Don't Come a-Mockin'
May 29, 2012: Eek!Cards #21: Let Me Use You in a Sentence
May 28, 2012: Eek!Cards #20: With Six You Get Calico
May 26, 2012: Eek!Cards #19: Call Now -- Or Preferably, Never!
May 25, 2012: Eek!Cards #18: How Many Footballs Am I Holding Up?
May 23, 2012: Eek!Cards #17: Here's to You, Yosemite Samantha
May 22, 2012: Eek!Cards #16: It's Not the Britches, Bitches
May 20, 2012: Eek!Cards #15: Kitchen Confidential
May 19, 2012: Eek!Cards #14: Scouts' NOM-NOM-NOM-or
May 18, 2012: Eek!Cards #13: You're Also Wrong About "Man Cave"
May 16, 2012: Eek!Cards #12: It's a Grand Slam Education, Ma'am!
May 15, 2012: Eek!Cards #11: I Got Yer 'Thermidor' Right Here
May 13, 2012: Eek!Cards #10: Assed and Answered
May 12, 2012: Eek!Cards #9: Knit One, Purl Clue
May 11, 2012: Eek!Cards #8: List-en Up, You!
May 09, 2012: Eek!Cards #7: Share the Love, Girl
May 08, 2012: Eek!Cards #6: Thou Shalt Not Touch Me with That Thing, Sicko
May 07, 2012: Eek!Cards #5: Maggie, May I?
May 05, 2012: Eek!Cards #4: "Abstinence", by Victoria's Secret
May 04, 2012: Eek!Cards #3: You Want Cat-Sup on That?
May 02, 2012: Eek!Cards #2: I'd Glove You to Glove Me
May 01, 2012: Eek!Cards #1: Da Da Da DUM(P)

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Posts: Eek!Cards