Charlie Hatton About This
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Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA

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Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!


101 Things Posts About Me

In true Where the Hell Was I? fashion, each entry is not only a ‘Thing’ — it’s also an incoherent, rambling blog post. Only the best for this blog, baby! Click ’em all!

Volume 1: The Numbers Game

#1. I currently have one pet, and it’s a pit bull named Susie.

#2. I have had two non-finned pets before Susie.

#3. I am three degrees away from Kevin Bacon. Semi-officially.

#4. In high school, I had a denim jacket with four band names airbrushed on the back.

#5. My wife and I own five computers between us.

#6. I have only needed to get six stitches in my life.

#7. I used my middle name until I was about seven years old.

#8. I have been in eight different major league baseball parks.

#9. I have had nine different positions since college.

#10. My brain wakes up at around ten each morning, regardless of when I get out of bed.

#11. I competed in a regional Spelling Bee when I was eleven years old.

#12. My wife and I have been together for twelve years.

#13. I started dating my wife on Friday the 13th.

#14. My house has fourteen steps between the first and second floors.

#15. I once had to work for fifteen hours on my birthday.

#16. I last played basketball when I was sixteen years old.

#17. When I was seventeen, I DJ’ed for the local college radio station.

#18. I will have been married for 3000 days on the eigteenth of August, 2004.

#19. I won a weekend trip for two to Washington, D.C. when I was nineteen.

#20. I had a long-distance relationship with my wife for twenty months.

#21. My first, and last, interest in politics came when I was twenty-one years old.

#22. I was kicked out of graduate school when I was twenty-two.

#23. I worked for a brain surgeon when I was twenty-three years old.

#24. The only show I’ve religiously watched in the past two years is 24.

#25. I got married when I was twenty-five years old.

#26. I dropped out of graduate school when I was twenty-six.

#27. I have roughly twenty-seven hours of Monty Python material on videotape.

#28. My first girlfriend was twenty-eight years old.

#29. I made a New Year’s Resolution to lose twenty-nine pounds.

#30. I got a surprise trip to Atlanta for my thirtieth birthday.

#31. I walked across the Golden Gate Bridge when I was thirty-one years old.

#32. I was thirty-two the first time I was laid off from a job.

#33. I am thirty-three years (and one day) old.

Chapter II: Talents, Accomplishments and Snarky Opinions

#34. I’m a pretty good juggler.

#35. I once road-tripped from Richmond, VA to Hilton Head, SC, overnight.

#36. I’ve been skydiving. Twice!

#37. I’ve been the Chief Technical Officer of a company.

#38. I am the pickiest beer snob I know.

#39. In high school, I won awards for emulating Bill Cosby.

#40. I have three jokes that I can drag out for at least an hour apiece.

#41. I’m a green belt (retired) in Tae Kwon Do.

#42. I have read — and reread — all five books in the Hitchhikers’ Guide trilogy.

#43. I once went whitewater rafting.

#44. I’ve been to the top of the Empire State Building and the Eiffel Tower.

#45. I’ve written two science fiction short stories.

#46. Wendy’s has the best French fries. Sorry, McDonald’s fans.

#47. I can work the three-star puzzles in Games magazine. Sometimes, anyway.

#48. I finished Half Life, Max Payne, and Red Faction.

#49. I’ve seen three operas performed at ‘The Met’ in New York City.

#50. I was a Features Editor for my college newspaper.

#51. I have won four fantasy sports championships.

#52. I’ve never watched the movie E.T.

#53. I learned at least one thing from every class in college.

#54. I think that what is art should be art, and what is not, should not.

#55. My high school yearbook quote was a Husker Du song lyric.

#56. I broke my nose playing softball.

#57. There exists no food that could not benefit from the addition of hot sauce.

#58. I still have my Amiga computer, but I finally gave up my Commodore 64.

#59. I can ‘go the other way’ in softball.

#60. I never lost a game of ‘Mercy’.

#61. I’m very competitive, and take challenges — especially from inanimate objects — personally.

#62. I have walked through the underground catacombs of Paris.

#63. I have angled for catfish in the Louisiana bayou.

#64. I do not have children, and cannot fathom ever, ever wanting that to change.

#65. I once peed on the exact geographical center of the state of Kentucky.

#66. I make a mean tuna casserole.

#67. The first wedding I ever attended was my own.

Book Three: Miscellaneous Crap, and Other Dubious Factoids

#68. I once had the perfect phone number.

#69. My honeymoon was in Ocho Rios, Jamaica.

#70. I’m a huge fan of Syracuse University sports, for no logical reason whatsoever.

#71. I am hard to impress, but easy to please.

#72. I would much rather be too cold than too hot.

#73. I read in waves, mostly science fact and science fiction.

#74. My college mascot was the ‘Praying Colonel’.

#75. I obsess over certain tasks, and sometimes make things harder than they should be.

#76. I chew my nails when I have to do something that I’d rather avoid.

#77. My nickname in high school and college was ‘Foz’.

#78. I always believed that people were essentially good. Until kindergarten, that is.

#79. I have never been to a funeral, nor seen a dead person.

#80. I have, however, seen several severed limbs and internal organs.

#81. I joined a fraternity in college.

#82. I never took any computer or typing classes in school. So, naturally, now I’m a software engineer.

#83. I’m not impressed by presentation, window dressing, or personal titles.

#84. My parents divorced when I was very young, then remarried. To each other!

#85. I’ve been placed under anesthesia exactly once. I had seven teeth removed.

#86. I was the first grandchild on my mother’s side of the family.

#87. My Myers-Briggs personality type is INTP.

#88. The worst physical pain I’ve ever endured was dislocating my shoulder. Twice.

#89. My favorite meal is the Dinner of Champions.

#90. I was one of ESPN’s 3Play contest winners.

#91. I am an only child. (Explains a lot, doesn’t it?)

#92. I generally lump magic, God, and the Powerball lottery together, and eye the lump warily.

#93. I’m allergic to cats and rabbits, and probably certain other furry critters.

#94. I wear boxers, but I do have an emergency pair of briefs.

#95. I do all of my agonizing before decisions, not after.

#96. I once had strep throat and mono at the same time.

#97. My parents have had as many homes since I left for college as I’ve had.

#98. The worst movie I ever paid to see was ‘Nothing But Trouble’.

#99. I have a soft spot for cows.

#100. I have a small chunk of pencil lead embedded in my right knee.

Addendum D: And One to Grow On

#101. I have absolutely, positively zero regrets.

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HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Me on Film 'n' Stage:
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Me on Science (silly):
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Me on Science (real):
  Meta Science News

Me on ZuG (RIP):
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  Zolton Does Amazon

Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

...Bleeding Obvious
By Ken Levine
Defective Yeti
Divorced Dad of Two
Gallivanting Monkey
Junk Drawer
Life... Weirder
Little. Red. Boat.
Mighty Geek
Scott's Tip of the Day
Something Authorly
Unlikely Explanations

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Married and a Moron
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