Eek!-ing Out a Living

September 19, 2012

I’m not exactly sure how to feel here. My series of ‘Eek!Cards‘ — designed as quick-hit filler on days I don’t write a whole post — just hit its 100th edition.

Only… did it?

I may not be the wiggliest dildo on the nightstand, proverbially, when it comes to math, but I’m fairly certain I can count to one hundred. And also pretty sure I did, painstakingly and sequentially pumping out snarky cards one by one by one.

But wait. When I checked my archives just now, I found the number to be off by one — only at ninety-nine. That shit’s fine for luftballoons and bottles of beer on the wall. But I’ve hit one hundred, and I’m not imagining things.

So I demanded a recount. Which was basically me, going through post after post, figuring out what was missing. That ‘what’ turned out to be #92. I’d forgotten to categorize it, so it didn’t show up.

“Now my ‘big one hundred’ is a little anticlimactic. And kind of gross. And uncomfortably brown.”

(And since it didn’t have a category, it was unreachable in the archives, as well.

So, you know, thank goodness I fixed that for future generations and stuff, right? Whew.)

Now my ‘big one hundred’ is a little anticlimactic. And kind of gross. And uncomfortably brown.

On the other hand, my ‘real’ #100 sort of bugs me, too. It’s the first card I remember making and soon after thinking, “oh, no, this would have been better“.

See, usually, I think, “man, something would make this better, but I don’t know what it is” or “holy god, what was I thinking when I wrote that?” or “meh, I’d still hit it“. But never the immediate facepalm, and the “oh, yeah, that was it” moment.

So consider this a bonus ‘fix-it’. Or a second try. Or ecard Mad-Libs, where I’m just drunkenly filling in blanks. Eight of one, half dozen of the other. Anyway, here goes. The original, and now ‘officially’ Eek!Card #100, from yesterday:

And the bonus riff — call it #100A, if you like — which is hopefully just a touch more cynically defeatist, in the way that I’d like it to be:

That’s all for now. But tune in tomorrow for something new. Quite possibly the start of a new one hundred Eek!Cards. Or a story about my dog’s poop. Or pictures of me falling up an escalator. These are all approximately equally likely to happen. There’s only one way to find out — see you manana.