Original humor & comedy articles daily weblog

Situation #1: Desperation (e.g., ‘I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse!’)

I’m so , I could a !  

Situation #2: Surprise (e.g., ‘You could have knocked me over with a feather!’)

You could have me with a/an !  

Situation #3: Skepticism (e.g., ‘Don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining!’)

Don’t on my and tell me it’s !  

Situation #4: Stupidity (e.g., ‘She’s not the sharpest tool in the shed!’)

She’s not the in/on the !  

Situation #5: Wishfulness (e.g., ‘The grass is always greener on the other side!’)

The is/are always in/on the !  

Situation #6: Ingenuity (e.g., ‘There’s more than one way to skin a cat!’)

There’s more than one way to a/an !  

Situation #7: Cautiousness (e.g., ‘It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye!’)

It’s all and until someone a/an !  

Situation #8: Disappointment (e.g., ‘That’s the way the cookie crumbles!’)

That’s the way the !  

Situation #9: Anticipation (e.g., ‘The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step!’)

The of a begins with a single !  

Situation #10: Philosophy (e.g., ‘Some days you’re the hydrant; some days you’re the dog!’)

Some days you’re the ; some days you’re the !  

Situation #11: New Opportunities (e.g., ‘There are plenty of other fish in the sea!’)

There are plenty of other in the !  

Situation #12: Ignorance (e.g., ‘He doesn’t know shit from shinola!’)

He doesn’t know from !  

Situation #13: Defiance (e.g., ‘That which does not kill me will only make me stronger!’)

That which does not me will only make me !  

Situation #14: Building Consensus (e.g., ‘Let’s run it up the flagpole and see who salutes!’)

Let’s it the and see who !  

Situation #15: Disgust (e.g., ‘I need that like I need a hole in my head!’)

I need that like I need a/an in my !  

Situation #16: Appreciation (e.g., ‘You’re the bee’s knees!’)

You’re the ‘s !  

Situation #17: Anger (e.g., ‘That really burns my ass!’)

That really my !  

Situation #18: Conciliation (e.g., ‘Don’t get your undies in a bunch!’)

Don’t get your in a !  

Situation #19: (Sexual) Futility (e.g., ‘It’d be like throwing a hotdog down a hallway!’)

It’d be like throwing a/an down a/an !  

Situation #20: Hope (e.g., ‘I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!’)

I can see the at the end of the !  

Situation #21: Equality (e.g., ‘What’s good for the goose is good for the gander!’)

What’s for the is for the !  

Situation #22: Aloofness (e.g., ‘That and a quarter will get you a cup of coffee!’)

That and a/an will get you a/an !  

Situation #23: Astonishment (e.g., ‘Well, slap my ass and call me Charlie!’)

Well, my and call me !  

Situation #24: Exploration (e.g., ‘Let’s try it just for shits and giggles!’)

Let’s try it just for and !  

Situation #25: Reality Check (e.g., ‘You can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube!’)

You can’t put the back in the !  

Situation #26: Romance (e.g., ‘The way to a man’s heart is through the stomach!’)

The way to a/an ‘s is through the !  

Situation #27: Optimism (e.g., ‘It’s always darkest before the dawn!’)

It’s always before the !  

Situation #28: Proper Nutrition (e.g., ‘An apple a day keeps the doctor away!’)

A/an a keeps the !  

Situation #29: Perserverance (e.g., ‘If at first you don’t succeed, try try again!’)

If at first you don’t , again!  

Situation #30: Prudence (e.g., ‘Fools rush in where angels fear to tread!’)

Fools where fear to !  

Situation #31: Aesthetics (e.g., ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!’)

is in the of the !  

Situation #32: Patience (e.g., ‘Don’t count your chickens before they hatch!’)

Don’t your before they !  

Situation #33: Good Fortune (e.g., ‘Even a blind squirrel will find a nut sometimes!’)

Even a will find a sometimes!  

Situation #34: Initiative (e.g., ‘Sometimes you have to take the bull by the horns!’)

Sometimes you have to the by the !  

Situation #35: Tough Choices (e.g., ‘You can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs!’)

You can’t a/an without some !