Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA

All Quotes


Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!


The Thirty-Three Faces of Me

A while back, I made an appointment to sit for headshots. The old standup comedy career was going nowhere, so that had to be the problem, right? No professional headshots to give out. That must be it.

(News flash: That wasn’t it. Go figure.)

I chose a pic to use out of the dozens sent back by the photographer. But why let all those rejected portraits go to waste? No booker or club owner will ever see them, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a chuckle at my expense.

Or, to be exact, thirty-three chuckles. At thirty-three Charlies, not including the ghoulishly grinning me you passed by at the top of the page. I’ve taken the liberty of captioning each photo — mostly so you won’t feel tempted; I’m far more gentle and tactful with such things than you, you know. Still, if you just can’t resist a potshot at one of my puckery pusses, feel free to leave me a comment. If you make me giggle, I’ll add it permanently to the page.

But be kind. That’s my face we’re talking about here. I’m stuck with the thing for life; the photographer only had to deal with it for an afternoon. And still, he broke three cameras. Meh.

33 Faces of Charlie: #1

#1: Such a
nice boy!

33 Faces of Charlie: #2

#2: Yeeeeesss?

33 Faces of Charlie: #3

#3: Well gawrsh,
Sgt. Carter!

33 Faces of Charlie: #4

#4: I tried to
tell ya, mister!

33 Faces of Charlie: #5

#5: You are
getting very

33 Faces of Charlie: #6

#6: I’ve got

33 Faces of Charlie: #7

#7: You ch-ch-
chooooose me?

33 Faces of Charlie: #8


33 Faces of Charlie: #9

#9: What’d you
just call me,

33 Faces of Charlie: #10

#10: Poker? I
barely even
KNOW her!

33 Faces of Charlie: #11

#11: I am so
sitting on
my testicles.

33 Faces of Charlie: #12

#12: Don’t make
me come
over there.

33 Faces of Charlie: #13

#13: “I know
you didn’t
just fart.”

33 Faces of Charlie: #14

#14: “I’m a
little teapot!”

33 Faces of Charlie: #15

#15: Hey, bebby.
What’s your sign?

33 Faces of Charlie: #16

#16: Those…

33 Faces of Charlie: #17

#17: “Takin’
is FUN!”

33 Faces of Charlie: #18

#18: These X-ray
contact lenses
are great!

33 Faces of Charlie: #19

#19: Ohhhhh,

33 Faces of Charlie: #20

#20: Do these
stripes make
me look fat?

33 Faces of Charlie: #21

#21: Is that beer?
I smell beer!

33 Faces of Charlie: #22

#22: Who’s a
little monkey?

33 Faces of Charlie: #23

#23: You and me.
Copier room.
Ten minutes?

33 Faces of Charlie: #24

#24: Ruh-row,

33 Faces of Charlie: #25

#25: “There’s no
film in the
what, now?”

33 Faces of Charlie: #26

#26: What’re you,

33 Faces of Charlie: #27

#27: I’m all
and shit!

33 Faces of Charlie: #28

#28: “You know,
I’ve got candy
in my van.”

33 Faces of Charlie: #29

#29: I vant
to suck
your blood!

33 Faces of Charlie: #30

#30: Dude, you’re
me out.

33 Faces of Charlie: #31

#31: What’d I
tell you
about that shit?

33 Faces of Charlie: #32

#32: “You’re on
thin ice,

33 Faces of Charlie: #33

#33: “I’ve got a
whole BAG
of ‘shush’ here.”

Permalink  |  9 Comments

9 Responses to “Headshots”

  1. Monkey says:


  2. kerry says:

    you look a little like joe piscapoe in some of those shots. specifically #’s 2,3,7,9,12,15,20,24,30

    you’re comments underneath were hilarious, i don’t see how you could improve on them!

  3. kerry says:

    *snarfle* i spelled his name wrong.

    aw, who cares.

  4. shelley says:

    The ONLY caption that doesn’t fit perfectly with its photo is the boobies one. My suggestion:

    “My eyes are up here, buddy.”

    Otherwise, this collection is priceless. (In the good way.)

  5. Roofie Raccoon says:

    I liked the boobies one because it was damn random. REALLY random. Made no sense at all but you’re grinning like maybe you DO have a pair just barely off camera.

    When I saw the “Is that beer” picture I thought “Snausages!!”

    These are funny pictures.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Me on Film 'n' Stage:
  Drinkstorm Studios

Me on Science (silly):
  Secondhand SCIENCE

Me on Science (real):
  Meta Science News

Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon

Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

...Bleeding Obvious
By Ken Levine
Defective Yeti
Divorced Dad of Two
Gallivanting Monkey
Junk Drawer
Life... Weirder
Little. Red. Boat.
Mighty Geek
Scott's Tip of the Day
Something Authorly
Unlikely Explanations

Full Archive

Category Archives:

(Stupid) Computers
A Doofus Is Me
Articles 'n' Zines
Audience Participation
Awkward Conversations
Bits About Blogging
Bitter Old Man Rants
Blasts from My Past
Cars 'n' Drivers
Dog Drivel
Foodstuff Fluff
Fun with Words!
Grooming Gaffes
Just Life
Loopy Lists
Making Fun of Jerks
Marketing Weenies
Married and a Moron
Miscellaneous Nonsense
Potty Talk / Yes, I'm a Pig
Sleep, and Lack Thereof
Tales from the Stage
Tasty Beverages
The Happy Homeowner
TV & Movies & Games, O My!
Vacations 'n' Holidays
Weird for the Sake of Weird
Whither the Weather
Wicked Pissah Bahstan
Wide World o' Sports
Work, Work, Work

Alas Smith and Jones
Berkeley Breathed
Bill Hicks
Dave Barry
Dexter's Laboratory
Douglas Adams
Evening at the Improv
Fawlty Towers
George Alec Effinger
Jake Johannsen
Married... With Children
Monty Python
Nick Bakay
Peter King
Ren and Stimpy
Rob Neyer
Sluggy Freelance
The Simpsons
The State

Plugs, Shameless
100 Best Humor Blogs | Healthy Moms Magazine



Feeds and More
Subscribe via FeedBurner


RSS 2.0
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Performancing Metrics

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS!

© 2003-15 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved