Charlie's "100 Things Posts About Me"
#9. I have had nine different positions since college.
No, not
sexual positions, you freak! What am I, the
Charlie frickin' Sutra? I mean
jobs, people. The kind you get
paid for. Oh, wait -- yeah, when I say it that way, I can
see how you might confuse it with sex. My bad.
Anyway, I've had nine
employers since I got out of school, how's that, ya perv? I was in grad school once, then I was a lab tech, back in a different grad school program, then I worked for a hospital, helped to found a startup company, worked for a consulting firm, telecommuted for a healthcare lab, hooked up with a temporary staffing company, and then worked for a pharmaceutical firm. Nine jobs in eleven years. Throw in a couple of contracts I did on the side for the government, and another start-up I dabbled in for a while, and I've averaged a new name on the paychecks every year.
Not bad for a guy they said nobody would hire, eh? Hell,
everybody's hired me. I've had more jobs than Peter North. More offices than Saddam Hussein. More business cards than the 'Win a Jell-O Rubdown' jar at
Scores. Why, I've stolen enough printer paper and Post-Its to light a bonfire under Delaware. Called in 'sick' for a
years' worth of Sundays. And had enough three-hour, four-martini lunches to make the Kennedys blush.
Hmmm. Maybe there's a
reason that I haven't kept a job for more than a couple of years. Eh.
Nah! Must be the economy, right? Um, hello? Right?
Right?
Oh, poop.