Zolton's Facebook Pranks on Hot Christmas Toy Companies

April 1, 2013

Zolton’s Facebook Pranks on Hot Christmas Toy Companies

I originally wrote this piece for MediaShower.com, for use on the late, great comedy site ZuG.com. Text and images published here with permission.

Christmas is over. The presents have been opened, the eggs have been nogged and the living room is a sea of empty boxes, wrapping paper and passed-out family members. The only thing left in the holiday gauntlet is to take stock of how well you did — and that depends on the children.

As always, Christmas is about the kids. If the children in the family are happy, then the family is all smiles, watching with warm satisfaction as the little tykes gleefully play with their toys. And if the children aren’t satisfied with their new Santa swag?

Then nobody is happy. The kids will make sure of that. A child with the wrong kind of Lego or last year’s model doll is a Christmas Grinched. So I worked like a sweatshop elf this year to deliver the hottest toys possible.

As usual, it didn’t go quite as planned, and I wound up with plenty of questions for the toy makers and stores. Read on for my Kris Kringle crash and burns — and my actual posts on the companies’ Facebook walls.

I may have ruined Christmas for the kids — and therefore, all of us — this year. But on the bright side, there are still three hundred and sixty-four shopping days left until next Christmas. Will I do any better? Here’s ho-ho-hoping.