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Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA

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Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!

Weekend Werind: Stupor Bowl Sunday

I’ll be taking off in an hour or so to attend a Super Bowl party in Connecticut, thrown by my friend’s brother. It should be a great time, but I do have one small worry.

As you may know, the Pittsburgh Steelers are playing the Arizona Cardinals in this year’s pigskin finale. I spent seven years in Pittsburgh before coming to Boston, so I’m still a Stillers backer. Mostly. When they’re not playing the Patriots, which would be awfully tough today, since most of the Pats are playing golf or sunning their hides on a beach somewhere this winter.

“If you never hear from me again and Pittsburgh wins the Super Bowl, just assume I’ve been sent upstate somewhere, and maybe I’ll be out on parole someday. Also, rest assured that it was totally worth it.”

So today, I’m solidly rooting for the Steelers. My wife is, too.

My buddy, I think he’s on the fence. A die-hard Pats fan, he could cheer for his team’s conference and take Pittsburgh, or cheer for the Cards to win, and then point out that the Patriots laid 47 points on them a few weeks ago, and so don’t we really know who the best team in football is?

It’s a dilemma, to be sure. But that’s not my worry.

My concern is his brother, who’s hosting today’s Super Bowl soiree. I don’t know who he’s cheering for. And he’s a cop. So he owns guns and tasers and can arrest you and stuff. If he’s going with the Cards today, and the Steelers go ahead, or — and this is purely fanciful speculation, now — say I get a little rowdy in support of my team, then what?

Can he claim black and gold are ‘gang colors’ and lock me in the squad car for the second half? Could he convince a judge to consider a Terrible Towel a deadly weapon? Will I do five-to-ten for attempting to incite a riot with a ‘Here we go, Stillers, here we go!‘ chant?

I don’t know. But I’ll say this: If you never hear from me again and Pittsburgh wins the Super Bowl, just assume I’ve been sent upstate somewhere, and maybe I’ll be out on parole someday. Also, rest assured that it was totally worth it.

Meanwhile, feel free to enjoy a few gridiron-related tidbits from posts past. Happy football!

December 14, 2003: Are You Ready for Some Snowballs?

February 1, 2005: Go, Pats… and Pass the Brewskis

February 2, 2005: Honor Among Scalpers

December 4, 2005: Hut! Hut! Brrrrrrrrr!

February 5, 2006: Super Bowls Ain’t What They Used to Be

January 18, 2007: The High Flying Falcon

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