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Now Why Didn’t I Think of That?

Don’t think I forgot. Don’t even imagine for a second that it slipped my mind. I may not have much going on up in the old nogging lately, but I would not forget my guest post hosting duties. Not something so important as that.

I’d like to thank the myriad of people (*cough cough* three *kaff cough*) who leapt at the chance to see their words here, in this very space. The response was nothing short of overwhelming; it makes me think, once again, of those famous words spoken by a truly gifted entertainer, many years ago:

‘Uh… is this thing on? Testing, testing. One two… is this on?‘

Oh, I kid. I appreciate everyone who wrote to offer a topic idea, and frankly, it was hard enough to choose one from just a few interested people. If there’d been any more, I’d still be sitting here wibbling over which one to pick. But in the end, I did make a choice. I won’t tell you who will soon be taking over the spotlight here, but I will reveal the topic, to whet your appetite for the upcoming yummy goodness.

(Did I just fricking say that? Damn. It must be late.)

Anyway, after all was said and done, I just couldn’t pass this topic by — there are simply too many compelling words leaping out and begging for attention. And here it is, one delicious word at a time:

Flushable.

Folded.

Wipes.

Folks, I don’t wanna get your hopes up or anything… but I really think this is gonna be good. ‘Flushable folded wipes‘ is the stuff Pulitzers are made from, people. So stay tuned for that — it ought to be a doozy.

And while we’re at it, a big round of blogplause to Al over at Shouting Into the Void, who thought up this whole idea.

(And who gave me the honor of penning the first guest post in the chain. And I didn’t even have ‘flushable, folded wipes‘ to work with! Think how much better this next one’s gonna be! Woo hoo!)

I Think We Know Which Is Funnier, Don’t We?

Hey, all.

Not really a post, I’m afraid — I just wanted to let you know that last night’s set is up. (Since Joe was kind enough to ask… and go check Joe out at Play By Play, dammit; you could learn something from him!)

As for me, I’m off to play volleyball wearing just one contact lens.

(Okay, that’s ‘just one lens‘, as opposed to two lenses, not ‘just one lens‘ in lieu of all other clothes. I’m seriously thinking of wearing pants for this. And not just because of the bruises I gave myself last time. I’ve really got to be more careful diving for the ball.)

So there’s your choice of image, folks. Picture me — and see me, in living color — doing standup in front of exactly one audience member last night, or try to imagine me running around half-blind tonight on the court, getting bonked on the head with the ball and running into the net every twelve seconds.

Holy shit, how jealous are you people right now, eh? There’s not one of you who wouldn’t trade your life and two fistfuls of cash just to live in my shoes. No, you don’t even have to say it — I can tell by that horrified, pitying look you’re pretending to have right now. You’re not fooling anyone, you know. You’re just aching to get your hands on a little piece of this life. Yeah, I know. It’s cool.

So, anyway, I’m off. Assuming I don’t suffer a horrible car crash or ear-bleeding head trauma, I’ll be back later to squint my way through a real post for you. Man, it’s been a crazy week. I’m just looking forward to the weekend — maybe I can regroup and get off this frickin’ merry-go-round. I’m looking forward to that. Oh, and seeing again. Yeah, that’d be nice, too. Baby steps, people… baby steps.

A King or an Idol? Oh, Don’t Make Me Choose Just One!

Hey, all — just a short note to let you know that the King of the Blogs competition is under way again, after some sniping and griping and general tomfoolery the last go-round. The judging and scoring and such for the first week of the competition will happen over the next few days; in the meantime, if you’re interested, you can check out my humble entry for this week.

And yes, you regular readers, it just might look somewhat familiar, which is why I’ve linked it off the main page, rather than bore you with this particular window into my blackened, wretched soul again.

(Hush up, Amber. Shhh, shhhh, and shush! I’ve got no control over which questions they ask!

Just be cool, all right?)

Anyway, check it out — and go see all (well, okay, most) of the others’ contributions, too. I’ll be interested to see whether another snarkfest breaks out, but for now, Nick seems to have things pretty well in hand.

While I’m here, I’ll also take the opportunity to list my Blogger Idol ‘Picks o’ the Week’. This week’s topic was ‘A Day in the Life of…‘, and it spawned some very interesting posts, including these:

• Ian’s Messy Desk — The Life of Riley
• Erich — Some of This May Not Be True
• djspicerack — Beaglebeaglebeaglebeagle…
• Lisa — A Day in the Life of a Blogger
• Keks — Ellipsis: Behind the Music

(As always, click the image for a list of all of this week’s Idol posts. It’s a veritable grab bag of goodness, folks!)

And again, if you haven’t read it yet, feel free to peruse my submission, about a day in the life of a professional comic. Oh, the places we’ll go!

So, anyway, that’s about it for now. Right now, there’s a big burly dude in my basement, fixing my dryer.

(Yeah, you know what? That is so not a euphemism. Ick.)

But I’ll be back sometime later — either before or after my Emerald Isle show tonight — to bring you… um, well, the sort of crap I always bring you. I’ve got nothing in mind yet — I’ll just pull something out of my ass and see what sticks.

(Eep! Note to self: when mixing metaphors, try and avoid beginning with those that contain the words ‘ass‘ or ‘stick‘ Yeeks.)

Okay, that’s it for now. I’m gonna go see how the dryer’s doing. The guy better work his magic on that thing today — I’m down to my last pair of clean undies, folks. If he can’t resurrect the thing, we may have something involving ‘ass‘ and ‘sticking‘ around here, after all. Let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that.