Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA

All Quotes


Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!

Sunday for the Scrapbook

You ever have one of those days? You know, when you mean to do something — you really intend to do it; like, say, write a weblog entry — and then, at the end of the day, it just hasn’t happened? That happen to you?

That was my day yesterday. But it’s not my fault, particularly — there were three big honking events keeping me from my appointed bloggy rounds. So let’s hear about them, since I’m a little tapped out on anything else to write about right now.

(Hey, I’ve been sick — cut me some damned slack. You wouldn’t be writing now, if you were as freaking phlegmy as I am right now. Be cool.)

Anyway, here’s a bit of fluff about the Sunday I had yesterday:

1) St. Patrick’s Day Parade — because the key thing you really need, when coming off an illness, is to stand in the middle of South Boston for four hours with several thousand other people in rapidly chilling weather. That’s ‘doctor’s orders’ right there, folks.

Seriously, though, it was a nice little soiree out there on the streets of Southie. Lots of bands, plenty of uniforms, and all sorts of other baubles and hoopla and crap going on. Among the more interesting things to be seen there:

  • A column of local Star Wars geeks in full stormtrooper regalia; there must have been a dozen of them in suits of various kinds — old Darth would’ve been so proud!
  • Random strangers in various parade vehicles throwing candy to kids along the route. Candy! From strangers! Won’t some-Irish-body think of the children?!
  • Dozens of women with strings of green beads who didn’t get them for showing their boobs… or at least weren’t asked to show their boobs, if there truly is a god. *shudder*
  • An exceptionally impressive float built by a local elementary school… just a few slots before a half-assed, rickety float put together by the local electrical workers’ union. Makes you think, eh?
  • A bus full of Guinness drinkers, taunting us on the streets with their full beers and happy smiles. I have never wanted to cry so badly — or torch a bus full of people — in my life.

Anyhow, that was fun. But then, it was time for a bit of work. So, I headed home, slunk into the basement, and had my:

2) Big Laundry Adventure — this part just sucked ass. Long story short, I put a load of laundry in the washer. They washed. And apparently didn’t spin or wring or blowdry, or whatever the washer is supposed to do to help the dryer’s cause. So, when I stuck the clothes in the dryer, they were dripping and heavy and soaking wet.

(And no ‘I likes my women like I likes my laundry’ jokes, okay? I’m tellin’ a story over here. Perv.)

So, of course, the dryer promptly shut down, and wouldn’t come back on. I pushed buttons, turned knobs, and yanked levers — nothing. I unplugged the thing, and plugged it back in. Nada. I scratched my crotch. Zippo. The damned thing wouldn’t come back on.

Which means that the wife and I went out this morning to buy a new one. That’s a whole other adventure in itself, probably. But meanwhile, we also had to find somewhere in the house to dry a dozen soaked, ass-dripping, full-sized towels. Which wasn’t damned easy — we’ve got towels on the bannisters, towels on the shower rack, towels on top of towels… And now, after a night of that, I think I can tell you, with little fear of contradiction — ‘the wife’s side of the bed’ was not a bright place to put one of the towels. Nor was ‘draped over my computer’, or ‘on the dog’s back’, I’m thinking. Nobody ever said I was the oiliest stripper on the pole, folks.

Look — let’s just move on to:

3. The Fantasy Baseball Draft — yes, folks; just this once, I forwent… um, that is, I forgoed… er, forgotted? Forgoeded? Whatever. What I’m trying to say is that just this once, I eschewed blogging — yeah, show of hands, fuckers; who thought I’d pull ‘eschewed’ out of my ass, eh? — to put together an all-star squad of steroid-bloated baseballers, to keep me entertained for the next six months or so with their kooky shenanigans.

Now, never mind that I’ve got three more teams to draft in the next couple of weeks. Somehow, just at that moment, full of green beer and sitting next to the soaking-wet towel-covered dog, drafting a team was the most important thing I could be doing.

Okay, maybe not ‘most important’. Would you believe ‘most frivolous’? ‘Most likely to waste time until one thirty in the morning’? Eh. In any case, that’s what I did. And now I’m writing about it — I’m not sure which I should feel more ashamed about. Let’s just hope I finally shake the remnants of this damned cold before long, and I stop blogging about shit that actually happened. These posts are just fricking painful.

Permalink  |  1 Comment

One Response to “Sunday for the Scrapbook”

  1. suki says:

    excuses excuses.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Me on Film 'n' Stage:
  Drinkstorm Studios

Me on Science (silly):
  Secondhand SCIENCE

Me on Science (real):
  Meta Science News

Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon

Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

...Bleeding Obvious
By Ken Levine
Defective Yeti
Divorced Dad of Two
Gallivanting Monkey
Junk Drawer
Life... Weirder
Little. Red. Boat.
Mighty Geek
Scott's Tip of the Day
Something Authorly
Unlikely Explanations

Full Archive

Category Archives:

(Stupid) Computers
A Doofus Is Me
Articles 'n' Zines
Audience Participation
Awkward Conversations
Bits About Blogging
Bitter Old Man Rants
Blasts from My Past
Cars 'n' Drivers
Dog Drivel
Foodstuff Fluff
Fun with Words!
Grooming Gaffes
Just Life
Loopy Lists
Making Fun of Jerks
Marketing Weenies
Married and a Moron
Miscellaneous Nonsense
Potty Talk / Yes, I'm a Pig
Sleep, and Lack Thereof
Tales from the Stage
Tasty Beverages
The Happy Homeowner
TV & Movies & Games, O My!
Vacations 'n' Holidays
Weird for the Sake of Weird
Whither the Weather
Wicked Pissah Bahstan
Wide World o' Sports
Work, Work, Work

Alas Smith and Jones
Berkeley Breathed
Bill Hicks
Dave Barry
Dexter's Laboratory
Douglas Adams
Evening at the Improv
Fawlty Towers
George Alec Effinger
Jake Johannsen
Married... With Children
Monty Python
Nick Bakay
Peter King
Ren and Stimpy
Rob Neyer
Sluggy Freelance
The Simpsons
The State

Plugs, Shameless
100 Best Humor Blogs | Healthy Moms Magazine



Feeds and More
Subscribe via FeedBurner


RSS 2.0
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Performancing Metrics

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS!

© 2003-15 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved