Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA

All Quotes


Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!

Sometimes Three is Not a Charm

Hey, folks.

I feel like I should apologize for being a bit less verbose lately. I’ve been working on a big project at the office, and it’s been taking up a lot of my off-hour time.

I actually thought that things would settle down this week — the project ended on Friday, and we rolled the system out to the users. Of course, this week I was reminded that working on a software project is a lot like trying to pee on a moving ceiling fan. You’d like to think that all the hard work and sweat and effort is over, once you’ve managed to actually get the damned thing done. But then you look around and see what kind of nasty mess you’re left with, and you wonder why you didn’t try your little stunt in someone else’s house, so you wouldn’t have to clean it up.

Oh, and in both cases, you’re left feeling all pissy, of course. But you knew that already.

Anyway, I figure there are going to be random people knocking on my goddamned door for about another week and a half, and then things will settle down. Or they’ll fire me. Whatever. Just make the madness end, dammit. Cut me loose, punt me out the window, whatever. Just don’t send me any more bug reports, dammit. I didn’t even write most of that crappy code. Leave me alone.

In the meantime, my computer is still Frinked. I got it started, with a new disk drive, but that’s not any damned help. What I want is my data. This is like swapping out the CD player in your car for an 8-track — the thing will run, but it’s not any fricking fun. And you wouldn’t want to do it for long.

(Dude. That’s my second weird-assed analogy already. What’s up with that?

Hey, let’s go for three — see if I can get it out of my system. Here we go — *ahem*:

Boy, is there anything like Olympic beach volleyball to make a guy wish he was an ‘ass man’? How is it they get away with making those women play in the sand with those skimpy little bottoms on, anyway?

It’s like… oh, I don’t know, let’s see… like having the gymnasts flip and flop around in Wonderbras, maybe? Making the women sprinters run their races in halter tops? How about letting the female weightlifters do their ‘clean and jerks’ in G-strings and pasties?

Ugh. Yep. It’s out of my system, all right. Shit. Remind me to never do that again.)

Ah, well. That was fun… until that last mental image, anyway. And now it’s back to work. I put fifteen damned things on my ‘To Do’ list today, and there are likely to be another ten or fifteen thrown at me tomorrow. If I don’t get a couple done tonight, I’ll never dig out. I’ll catch you mofos tomorrow. Peace.

Permalink  |  2 Comments

2 Responses to “Sometimes Three is Not a Charm”

  1. Blueher says:

    I work in tech support. I feel your pain. I know what it is like to clean up the mess of crappy code written by others. Good Luck!

  2. Monkey says:

    Not me! I write crappy code then leave before I have to deal with it. Muahaa! *flies away*

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Me on Film 'n' Stage:
  Drinkstorm Studios

Me on Science (silly):
  Secondhand SCIENCE

Me on Science (real):
  Meta Science News

Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon

Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

...Bleeding Obvious
By Ken Levine
Defective Yeti
Divorced Dad of Two
Gallivanting Monkey
Junk Drawer
Life... Weirder
Little. Red. Boat.
Mighty Geek
Scott's Tip of the Day
Something Authorly
Unlikely Explanations

Full Archive

Category Archives:

(Stupid) Computers
A Doofus Is Me
Articles 'n' Zines
Audience Participation
Awkward Conversations
Bits About Blogging
Bitter Old Man Rants
Blasts from My Past
Cars 'n' Drivers
Dog Drivel
Foodstuff Fluff
Fun with Words!
Grooming Gaffes
Just Life
Loopy Lists
Making Fun of Jerks
Marketing Weenies
Married and a Moron
Miscellaneous Nonsense
Potty Talk / Yes, I'm a Pig
Sleep, and Lack Thereof
Tales from the Stage
Tasty Beverages
The Happy Homeowner
TV & Movies & Games, O My!
Vacations 'n' Holidays
Weird for the Sake of Weird
Whither the Weather
Wicked Pissah Bahstan
Wide World o' Sports
Work, Work, Work

Alas Smith and Jones
Berkeley Breathed
Bill Hicks
Dave Barry
Dexter's Laboratory
Douglas Adams
Evening at the Improv
Fawlty Towers
George Alec Effinger
Jake Johannsen
Married... With Children
Monty Python
Nick Bakay
Peter King
Ren and Stimpy
Rob Neyer
Sluggy Freelance
The Simpsons
The State

Plugs, Shameless
100 Best Humor Blogs | Healthy Moms Magazine



Feeds and More
Subscribe via FeedBurner


RSS 2.0
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Performancing Metrics

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS!

© 2003-15 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved