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Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA

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Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!

Hey, Boss — I Lied. I’ll Be Back in February. Maybe.

Well, this blows.

I hurt. All over. The aches from my illness are bleeding over into the creaky back from the soft mattresses we’re sleeping on over Christmas break, and I’m feeling the pinch.

(And if you think there’s just a smidgen of hopeful optimism left in me, know that I just included ‘bleeding’ and ‘pinch’ in a sentence about how I feel, when I really didn’t have to.

The glass is not ‘half full’. It’s all empty, broken on the floor, and shards of it are poking into my delicate between-toe meat. That is how I feel right now.)

I don’t know what this is — I don’t think it’s the flu, or anything dramatic like that… but I’m not ruling it out, either. I’m coughing, stuffy, achy, and feverish. It’s like the after-effects of a weekend at Denis Leary’s, or a bong party at the Barbi Twins’ place.

Okay, that doesn’t make any damned sense, does it? Well, tough. Just the fact that I can get fingers to keyboard right now is amazing enough to me, and at the same time, it’s wearing me the hell out. I’ll be back in some form — liquid, given how it feels right now — tomorrow, and back to my old self as soon as I can shake this wretched beast. Oh, and I’ll be home tomorrow — sweet, sweet home — so I should be in better spirits. And quite possibly pickled in spirits, which always makes for some interesting reading, no?

Anyway, take care of yourselves, and I’ll see you again when I get back home. Right now, it’s 10pm, and I’m going to bed. Wish me ten hours of sleep and a miracle cure for the trip back tomorrow, okay? That’d be the best Christmas gift I got all year. Toodles!

Permalink  |  9 Comments

9 Responses to “Hey, Boss — I Lied. I’ll Be Back in February. Maybe.”

  1. Jeff A says:

    Sorry you feel like poo, hopefully you will recover faster than I am. I got sick 2 weeks ago and some of it is still hanging on!

  2. Lara says:

    Hey Charlie! Feel better dude! I caught the crud just as I was leaving to drive from Arizona to Tennessee and Im STILL (a full week later) feeling like crap! Whatever it is it SUCKS! Anyhow, now that I’m STARTING to feel human again, when Dad asked if we all were interested in eating Brats for dinner one night, I suggested making your Brats recipe. I’ll do my best to make them right…and I’ll let you know after Wednesday’s dinner how they turned out!

  3. chasmyn says:

    Don’t forget to sterilize your keyboard after you type so that when you’re feeling better the germies aren’t lying in wait.

  4. nefarious says:

    Here’s to hoping you feel better and manage to get pickled, inebriated, looped, boozed, swacked, blotto, oiled, tanked, fried, crocked, slewed, zonked, lushed, lit, loaded, canned, gassed and generally $#!T-faced before your next bloggin effort. Even if you aren’t feeling better you won’t care


  5. tj says:

    *puts on hazmat suit*

    don’t get anything on me! you’re oozing…

  6. The Hearn says:

    Try to avoid dying. I’m fighting a minor illness myself, but I think I might live.

  7. Miss Lyndsay says:

    i dont know why, but sometimes I enjoy being sick and having the luxury of blaming my bitching,sleeping, lack of movement, to said illness.

    Sometimes – it is something that can be good.

  8. Joe says:

    Get better soon man…and if you didn’t get a chance, go check out Dave Barry’s chat on

    Maybe you can laugh your way back to health!

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