Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA

All Quotes


Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!


Ripped… from *MY* Headlines!

I was recently the victim of plagiarism.

Oh, I’ve had a piece or two ripped off before. You can’t spew as much drivel as I have in the past five-and-a-half years without a snippet or two making their way into scoundrels’ wayward and non-attributing mitts. A MySpacer lifts this, some forum hound copies that… in the grand scheme of things, it’s more trouble than it’s worth to scream, ‘Mine! Mine! Mine!‘ every time an old post makes an appearance attached to someone else’s name.

(And where’s the harm, anyway? If some LJ geek wants his three measly friends to believe he’s the ‘bestest Alton Brown fan evar!!!1!eleventy’, why should I be jealous?

I’m actually more interested to know how he managed to make three whole friends. Maybe I should be stealing from him.)

This time, though, it was different.

This was no one-time pilfering, nor some obscure site dawdling its days on the obscure outskirts of the interwebs. Instead, it was what appears to be a highly motivated, hyperly active and heavily advertising individual, pulling eyeballs and attention from every available avenue to read his site.

Which was full, to the overflowing brim, of my words. For eight months in his site’s most recent incarnation, and apparently for some time before that. Until a couple of days ago, I was entirely unaware. And quite taken aback when I made the discovery. It’s like there was another me out there, running around and saying the same (often verbatim) silly nonsense that I say. Quoting my quotes. Re-turning my phrases. Repeating every ridiculous, outlandish, filthy word I uttered.

It’s like the little brother my mother never wanted me to have. She’d be mortified.

And in my own way, so was I. My posts may be many things — goofy, long-winded, scandalous, dubiously fact-checked, incomprehensible, offensive to nuns, nubiles and Nebraskans — but above all, dammit, they’re mine.

So I’ve done some digging on the man who stole the words right offa my page for nearly a year. Since he felt compelled to tell the world about ‘himself’ in my voice, I thought I’d tell you something about him in my own.

The name of the (most recent) offending weblog was ‘Monkey Fables and Tales’. It exists only as a ghost in Google’s memory now; when I discovered my words frolicking on someone else’s site, I left comments asking for removal, or proper attribution to the originals. The ‘author’, going by the name Monkey Tales, evidently chose the former, deleting the entire weblog (and others he ran) within an hour of first contact.

Still, thanks to the caching prowess of ‘Big G’, I can show you something of what was there. On the last cached version of the site, there are three entries. Please for your enjoyment to be comparing them to earlier posts from my own archives:

11/14/2008: “A Different Type of Wing Man” to Interlude with a Vampire (11/01/2006)

11/13/2008: “Do They Leave Chalk in the Ladies’ Room?” to Man’s New Best Friend? (06/26/2003)

11/11/2008: “Belligerence Can Be Your Friend” to Whatever the Question, ‘Belligerent’ is Always the Answer (06/05/2005)

(I give him points for brevity in the title for that last one. But why no post on the 12th? What kind of self-respecting plagiarist was he?

For a good portion of my time here, I wrote one of those ridiculous posts every day. The least the guy could have done is steal them at the same rate. Slacker.)

The scope of this gentleman’s re-post self-gifting was not limited to the current holiday season, I’m afraid. The archives stretched all the way back to February, when love was in the air — and when I was still posting here regularly, to boot. Some Monkeys are apparently cheekier than others.

I haven’t scoured the entire cached archive, and I wouldn’t waste your time with a blow-by-blow rundown if I had. Suffice to point out that my August 10, 2005 was his March 6, 2008, my August 24st of the same year was his May 31st of the current one. November ’03 becomes August ’08, three years ago October is reprised this September, and an old number from 2003 reappears more than five years later.

(He took the time to change ‘Boston drivers’ in that last one to ‘Midwest drivers’, but didn’t think to remove a derogatory reference to Yankees fans, to the apparent chagrin of one of his New Yahkah commenters. Nice catch, sparky.)

Frankly flabbergasted, I dug for more on this mystery Monkey man. And I found it.

Turns out he was quite the busy bee, maintaining four weblogs (all shut down at once soon after my comments were submitted) and advertising them relentlessly using social networking communities, EntreCard and BlogCatalog in particular. I joined the former to learn — and teach — a little more about the culprit, and used the latter to track down more specific information, as well.

It turns out that Monkey Tale (‘monkeytale’ on BlogCatalog, ‘mikster’ on MyBlogLog, StumbleUpon and elsewhere) used to have another weblog called ‘Reality is Over Rated’. And shockingly, it was composed, to a large degree, of the same content as his more current (lack of) effort. Namely, my content.

(Fortunately for my sleuthing activities, FeedShow has kept a log of his old blog’s content, with preview text. Astute — and even not-so-particularly-astute-until-you’ve-had-your-morning-coffee — readers will recognize February 5, 2008’s “Do They Leave Chalk in the Ladies’ Room?”, January 26, 2008’s “Some People Are So Touchy” and January 4, 2008’s “Make a Decision Already!” from the links above.

For my part, I recognize the opening riffs of the very 2nd post (“Presumptuous Bastard Anyway”, 09/27/2007) as the intro to I Don’t Think So, Beermonger, the 3rd (“At Least There Are Less Rules Now”, 09/30/2007) as Slacking Off for Sunday, and right on up to the last post on 04/08/2008, “Has Someone Turned Big Bird Loose?”

Indeed. I did, on July 5th, 2005. Thanks for asking, boyo.)

I had uncovered a great deal of stolen material by this point. But my Herculean Holmesian heaving hadn’t yet produced any real information about this mikster/Monkey himself. Other than a ‘Midwest’ subbed for a ‘Boston’ here, a ‘Red Sox’ replaced by a ‘Packers’ there, I really didn’t know much about the man behind the malingering.

Until, that is, I stumbled onto his profile on StumbleUpon.

And there I found the face — well, the alleged face, anyway; he may have yoinked that from someone, too — of my personal (and perversively perserverant) plagiarist. He’s 48. He’s from Wisconsin. And he’s been a member since mid-September, 2007 — just a few days before the first proof I have that he’s been ripping my shit off as his own for well over a year, on at least two (now-defunct) weblogs.

And I’m satisfied. I ‘ve stared into the cold digital eyes of my online identity thief, the offending materials have been removed, and now I can go back to whatever the hell it was I was doing before obsessing over this little brouhaha. Probably reading comic books, or counting toes or playing chicken with the garbage disposal. Something brainy like that.

In an odd way, this experience has encouraged me to think about writing on my own site again.

(I mean, obviously. Look how many freaking paragraphs we’ve come so far.)

I’ve been on ‘hiatus’ for a few months now, but I do miss putting fingertips to keyboard. And — if the popularity of this Monkey guy’s ‘writing’ and the number of people wondering what happened to his site(s) is any indication — there might be at least a modest audience who’d enjoy my particular brand of drivel. We’ll see about that soon. For now, it’s enough to take one more good look at the plagiarist’s face, turn off the light, and get a sound night’s sleep.

(And just look at the guy. Seriously. How could people think those words were coming from him?

He doesn’t look anything like Joe Piscopo. Or Fozzie Bear. Or even (I still don’t get this one…) Tim Curry! Packer Backer, please.)

Permalink  |  19 Comments

19 Responses to “Ripped”

  1. otilius says:

    truly one of the amazements of the year. you should adapt his monkey EntreCard ad image for yourself and carry on the beloved work. :(|)

  2. Jamie says:

    “And just look at the guy. Seriously. How could people think those words were coming from him?”

    I don’t think anyone dug around for his photo. I know I didn’t. I liked what was on the blog and commented frequently. I now feel those comments belong to you, I just don’t know how to send them your way. =\

  3. Didn’t you recognize his picture as the heckler from that club in Green Bay. You sure made a monkey out of him that night. Swearing sweet revenge on the life of Brett Favre. You may have cost him his chances with his cheese head date that evening, but he took your best material. Now who’s laughing Charlie? Huh?

  4. Traveller says:

    Wow … the Monkey who went around claiming other people were copying his blog turned out to have copied other people’s!

    I’m glad you found the plagiarist and had ample evidence to back your claim. I would be so angry if all these people at EC who know Monkey had believed him over you.

  5. StanHayes says:

    Too bad you didn’t post this before contacting Mikster/Monkey, then he would’ve had a goodbye post. Some anonymous source you are.

  6. fragileheart says:

    I’m not saying I ‘knew’ because I had no idea… BUT it did irk me that he got so many comments and didn’t reply to a single one. And with hindsight at my side, I can say, “no wonder!”

    I’ve always liked your writing (seeing as I’ve read it over at Monkey’s for so long), so I’ll be sure to come back often. But do a girl a with ADD favour… shorten it down a bit some days huh?



  7. I enjoyed your writing while you were appearing under that other name (I know… I know).

    So I’ll keep a weather-eye here too and see how the original-and-best now carries on.

    My compliments, for what they are worth, on dealing with the whole trauma with calm-communication and good humour.

    And, yeah… *so* Tom Curry… sorry! :)

  8. Kat says:

    Wow! Okay, I have been a big Monkey Tales and Fables fan for a couple of months, and you (not he, apparently) are HILARIOUS! I even had him featured on my blogroll (for all ten of my readers!!).

    I thought it was really odd when in my site stats there was an entry from copyscape targeting my blogroll… now it makes sense… I’m really glad you discovered him.

    I actually feel very deceived and not too happy – however, I am glad to meet the real “brains” behind the writing that I’ve been enjoying.

    Don’t be suprised if you find yourself on my blogroll ;).

  9. kerry says:

    the bastard! i hope he gets eaten by rabid monkeys.

  10. flit says:

    Some people’s children!

    I suppose you can take it as a compliment… but it shouldn’t have happened.

  11. Plagiarism is all over the net and I’ve found my own writing ripped off and posted elsewhere, but never to this extent. I suppose in one way, it’s some kind of sick compliment.

  12. Bee says:

    Well, because of that, I found you (I know it sounds Fatal Attraction-like but I mean it in a nice non-stalker way)so don’t mind me while I read your hilarious archives!

  13. blackzero85 says:

    Haha… now that you’ve destroyed him, what is your plan to remove those cached versions on Google? Or do you have no plans at all for that?

  14. GumbyTheCat says:

    Amazing. Simply amazing. I cannot believe the level of duplicity. His blog was always ranked #1 on Entrecard, and no on had any idea. I’m glad you nailed the slimy little bastard.

  15. Sebastyne says:

    Wow. I think you are being very forgiving for not demanding his head on a platter. I was shocked to find out that Monkey was a fake, I loved that site just like so many others did. Hopefully the rest of us that got fooled will find their way to your site sooner than later. I’m certainly pointing people this way, mate.

    Please don’t ever stop writing again!!

  16. lisa says:

    Maybe the copyright down in your footer (2003-6) made him think 2006-9 was free game! ;)

  17. Turnip says:

    If you follow the link in my name, you will see the same guy came back and repeated his theft of content again. Amazing story. He then deleted all 6 blogs and a 5k follower twitter account.

  18. Ane says:

    That is probably the worse thing that can happen to any blogger! I’m glad it’s all over! and I used to be a fan of his blog, I wondered what happened to him, now I know… OMG.

  19. Racyadacype says:


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Me on Film 'n' Stage:
  Drinkstorm Studios

Me on Science (silly):
  Secondhand SCIENCE

Me on Science (real):
  Meta Science News

Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon

Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

...Bleeding Obvious
By Ken Levine
Defective Yeti
Divorced Dad of Two
Gallivanting Monkey
Junk Drawer
Life... Weirder
Little. Red. Boat.
Mighty Geek
Scott's Tip of the Day
Something Authorly
Unlikely Explanations

Full Archive

Category Archives:

(Stupid) Computers
A Doofus Is Me
Articles 'n' Zines
Audience Participation
Awkward Conversations
Bits About Blogging
Bitter Old Man Rants
Blasts from My Past
Cars 'n' Drivers
Dog Drivel
Foodstuff Fluff
Fun with Words!
Grooming Gaffes
Just Life
Loopy Lists
Making Fun of Jerks
Marketing Weenies
Married and a Moron
Miscellaneous Nonsense
Potty Talk / Yes, I'm a Pig
Sleep, and Lack Thereof
Tales from the Stage
Tasty Beverages
The Happy Homeowner
TV & Movies & Games, O My!
Vacations 'n' Holidays
Weird for the Sake of Weird
Whither the Weather
Wicked Pissah Bahstan
Wide World o' Sports
Work, Work, Work

Alas Smith and Jones
Berkeley Breathed
Bill Hicks
Dave Barry
Dexter's Laboratory
Douglas Adams
Evening at the Improv
Fawlty Towers
George Alec Effinger
Jake Johannsen
Married... With Children
Monty Python
Nick Bakay
Peter King
Ren and Stimpy
Rob Neyer
Sluggy Freelance
The Simpsons
The State

Plugs, Shameless
100 Best Humor Blogs | Healthy Moms Magazine



Feeds and More
Subscribe via FeedBurner


RSS 2.0
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Performancing Metrics

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS!

© 2003-15 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved