Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA

All Quotes


Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!

Proving Once Again That TV and Blogging Don’t Mix

From the ‘Be careful what you bitch about’ department:

Yesterday, I went on and on… and yes, on about how damned cold it was. Too cold to go frolic naked on the lawn, colder than a penguin’s freezy teat, and — this is the really important and non-disturbing bit — too cold to snow.

So, of course, it warmed up.

And now it’s fricking snowing. Lousy smartass nature.

And snowing like the dickens, too. That’s one of those old-fashioned, quaint little tack-ons, you know — ‘like the dickens‘. Makes it seem all rustic and shit down here, dunnit? Downright bucolic. Or bubonic — I’m always getting those two confused.

(Damn. This is what happens when I write entries while I’m watching old Monty Python episodes. It’s even sillier than usual. But bless that BBC America, eh? Pip pip, and all of that.)

All right — back to the story, such that it is.

I came out of work tonight to find the snow pissing down all around. Very dangerous, too — I had a hell of a time getting home, slipping all over the road. So, of course, as soon as I hit the door, I ordered a pizza.

Hey, if I have to put my life on the line driving home, then somebody else should damned well risk their neck bringing me dinner. That’s only fair, I think. Plus, I was hungry. These were desperate times. Desperate, snowy, hungry times.

(Okay, so switching to watching the Simpsons didn’t really help much, eh? Damn. None of my favorite shows makes my writing any less silly. Maybe I should try a Home Movies rerun, or something.)

Anyway, I made it home. And the pizza was nummy. I’m not sure I really had a point. Really, this was all just an excuse to mention penguin teats. It’s all an elaborate ruse. Which I think is another one of those quaint, old-school sayings I’m always hearing about. An ‘elaborate ruse‘. Teats. On penguins. This stuff is gold, people.

(Nope. Home Movies isn’t working, either. And now I’m writing in really, really short sentences. And wondering whether Melissa is hot in real life. And why they didn’t draw Paula a nose.)

Yeah, I’m not sure this is working, really. Either the ADD is kicking in here, or I’ve had way too much caffeine and TV tonight. Let’s try again tomorrow, shall we? Assuming I can dig the hell out of all this snow, of course.

Eh, screw it. I’m gonna watch some Family Guy and go to bed. Later, folks.

Permalink  |  3 Comments

3 Responses to “Proving Once Again That TV and Blogging Don’t Mix”

  1. sunShine says:

    I hate the snow. It is beautiful in pictures, but a pain in the ass.

  2. Stash says:


  3. Oh Charlie, What would happen to your writing if your TV got stuck on LifeTime? Would all of your entries get sensitive and make us reach for our hankies! Hope it warms up…for all of our sakes!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Me on Film 'n' Stage:
  Drinkstorm Studios

Me on Science (silly):
  Secondhand SCIENCE

Me on Science (real):
  Meta Science News

Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon

Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

...Bleeding Obvious
By Ken Levine
Defective Yeti
Divorced Dad of Two
Gallivanting Monkey
Junk Drawer
Life... Weirder
Little. Red. Boat.
Mighty Geek
Scott's Tip of the Day
Something Authorly
Unlikely Explanations

Full Archive

Category Archives:

(Stupid) Computers
A Doofus Is Me
Articles 'n' Zines
Audience Participation
Awkward Conversations
Bits About Blogging
Bitter Old Man Rants
Blasts from My Past
Cars 'n' Drivers
Dog Drivel
Foodstuff Fluff
Fun with Words!
Grooming Gaffes
Just Life
Loopy Lists
Making Fun of Jerks
Marketing Weenies
Married and a Moron
Miscellaneous Nonsense
Potty Talk / Yes, I'm a Pig
Sleep, and Lack Thereof
Tales from the Stage
Tasty Beverages
The Happy Homeowner
TV & Movies & Games, O My!
Vacations 'n' Holidays
Weird for the Sake of Weird
Whither the Weather
Wicked Pissah Bahstan
Wide World o' Sports
Work, Work, Work

Alas Smith and Jones
Berkeley Breathed
Bill Hicks
Dave Barry
Dexter's Laboratory
Douglas Adams
Evening at the Improv
Fawlty Towers
George Alec Effinger
Jake Johannsen
Married... With Children
Monty Python
Nick Bakay
Peter King
Ren and Stimpy
Rob Neyer
Sluggy Freelance
The Simpsons
The State

Plugs, Shameless
100 Best Humor Blogs | Healthy Moms Magazine



Feeds and More
Subscribe via FeedBurner


RSS 2.0
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Performancing Metrics

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS!

© 2003-15 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved