Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA

All Quotes


Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!


February 4, 2004: Crickets at the Emerald Isle

Well, this was a first. Folks, don’t get me wrong — I’m not accustomed to playing packed houses or anything. I’ve been in a few rooms so far where the comics outnumbered the people in the crowd. (It’s happened at the Isle before, as a matter of fact.)

But I have to admit that I’ve never done a show — or seen a show, for that matter — where the audience members were outnumbered by the hosts of the show. That’s a new one on me… and not a pretty one, folks. Not a pretty one at all.

Now, to be perfectly accurate, there were actually the same number of audience members as ‘hosts’ — two. Rich, our gracious emcee at the Isle, has picked up a keyboard player to liven things up, so there are now two people onstage between and before the comics. And there were two non-comics in the house last night. But I stand by my earlier assessment, because — if you can believe it — the two lonely people in the crowd were never there at the same time!

Folks, the Kennedy Center this ain’t.

I went up towards the end of the group of fifteen or so comics. At that point, there was just one guy, sitting to the left of the stage. (His left, my right… potato, potahto…) His name was Eric. (And yes, you know you’re in trouble when you can name every person in the audience. All one of ’em.)

So, some people went up and just screwed around. There was singing, and some ninja fighting, and all manner of hullaballoo. (There may have even been ‘shenanigans’. But I’ll never say; comics don’t kiss and tell.) But most of what I was doing was new stuff — and I’m still new to all of this myself — so I pretty much stuck to the script and did five minutes of material. Eric was even nice enough to hold the camera for me, so you guys could check it out. Go, Eric! You’re the best one-man audience a bunch of comics could hope for!

On the other hand, the film quality’s not that great. Still, Eric tried, and I love him for that. As for the show, it was received… well, it was received the way just about every other set that night was received: with five minutes of more or less unbroken silence. Just about the only noise you’ll hear on this tape, besides me (and Eric, in the beginning) is the host Rich’s intermittent pity laughs. Hey, at least Rich was there for me — for the comics that went on while he was eating pizza, there was simply no love at all.

But, what are you gonna do? Stage time is stage time, right? I don’t really know whether any of the stuff I tried works or not — when you get the same reaction to everything, it’s a bit tricky to tease apart what’s killing and what’s dying — but I got in some practice, and got some free pizza myself. Maybe I’ll do the same set again soon, and see how it goes when there are warm bodies in the audience, as opposed to the cold-blooded icy carcasses of my fellow comics.

(Hey, I’m not complaining — I didn’t laugh much at their stuff, either. It’s some unwritten code or something. Some sort of professional discourtesy, I guess.

Of course, that’s not really true. It’s just that every comic going onstage thinks he or she is the funniest person in the room. Always. Still, once you’re swilling beer and chomping pizza with ’em, most of them are pretty nice people. It’s a weird little subsociety. I’m sure somebody could get a thesis or two out of it.)

So, I tell you all of that to tell you this: don’t expect much from this set. (Like you’d expect much if you’ve watched any of the others, right? Don’t be a smartass, dude.)

Oh, and to top it off, my tape ran out just before the end of my bit. So don’t read this next line until you’ve watched the tape, and seen it cut out unexpectedly, and then hurry back here to read the ending, okay? Really — don’t read it now; it won’t make any sense. Just watch the thing, and then look. Okay, here’s the ending:

Of course, they took Dad away for a while then… which kind of sucked. On the good side, though, while he was gone, I sold all of his golf clubs! And we’ve gotten along a lot better ever since.

Wha? Hey! Dammit, I told you not to read that yet! You peeked, didn’t you? Dammit, I give you just one thing to do… some people. I’m very disappointed in you. You know, Eric wouldn’t have done something like that. He’s a pro. Shame on you. Tsk.

Download Clip of 02/04/04 Set —

Emerald Isle, Dorchester, MA (5 minutes, 21 seconds):

Charlie in comedy mode

(Click photo to enlarge)

MPEG Format — 28MB

RealMedia Format — 8MB

Windows Media Format — 4MB

Permalink  |  No Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Me on Film 'n' Stage:
  Drinkstorm Studios

Me on Science (silly):
  Secondhand SCIENCE

Me on Science (real):
  Meta Science News

Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon

Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

...Bleeding Obvious
By Ken Levine
Defective Yeti
Divorced Dad of Two
Gallivanting Monkey
Junk Drawer
Life... Weirder
Little. Red. Boat.
Mighty Geek
Scott's Tip of the Day
Something Authorly
Unlikely Explanations

Full Archive

Category Archives:

(Stupid) Computers
A Doofus Is Me
Articles 'n' Zines
Audience Participation
Awkward Conversations
Bits About Blogging
Bitter Old Man Rants
Blasts from My Past
Cars 'n' Drivers
Dog Drivel
Foodstuff Fluff
Fun with Words!
Grooming Gaffes
Just Life
Loopy Lists
Making Fun of Jerks
Marketing Weenies
Married and a Moron
Miscellaneous Nonsense
Potty Talk / Yes, I'm a Pig
Sleep, and Lack Thereof
Tales from the Stage
Tasty Beverages
The Happy Homeowner
TV & Movies & Games, O My!
Vacations 'n' Holidays
Weird for the Sake of Weird
Whither the Weather
Wicked Pissah Bahstan
Wide World o' Sports
Work, Work, Work

Alas Smith and Jones
Berkeley Breathed
Bill Hicks
Dave Barry
Dexter's Laboratory
Douglas Adams
Evening at the Improv
Fawlty Towers
George Alec Effinger
Jake Johannsen
Married... With Children
Monty Python
Nick Bakay
Peter King
Ren and Stimpy
Rob Neyer
Sluggy Freelance
The Simpsons
The State

Plugs, Shameless
100 Best Humor Blogs | Healthy Moms Magazine



Feeds and More
Subscribe via FeedBurner


RSS 2.0
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Performancing Metrics

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS!

© 2003-15 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved