Maybe I'm Wrong... Maybe It Is Just Gas, After All

February 19, 2004

Maybe I’m Wrong… Maybe It Is Just Gas, After All

Do you ever find yourself in one of those moods, one of those crazy manic states of mind where you just know that you’re about to have some fantastic new idea? You’re seeing things just a little clearer, thinking a couple of speeds faster, solving problems, taking shortcuts that actually work, putting your pants on with the fly in the front for once… really in a groove.

And sooner or later, you’re bound to come up with the Next Big Thing™. Or at least A Big Thing™. Would you believe A Moderately-Sized But Still Substantial Thing™? Whatever. Anyway, something good is just aching to come wiggling out of your brainstuff — you can feel it. Maybe it’ll happen today, and maybe it’ll happen tomorrow, and maybe it’ll hurt like hell, but it’s gonna happen. Or it’s just gas. There’s no way to be certain, really.

Anyway, that’s the feeling I’ve got now. And I haven’t had Mexican food in weeks, so I’m pretty sure it’s not gas. I don’t know what the hell is in that melon of mine, but it’s coming out soon. I just hope it doesn’t involve spandex, or rhesus monkeys. For once. You wouldn’t think that shit could get old, but eventually, it happens.

In any case, I’m pretty much just hanging around waiting for that magical moment when the muse strikes and my revelation reveals itself. Of course, I’ve got to maintain the mood until it does — I’m thinking a steady diet of Hershey’s Miniatures and red velvet cake ought to do the trick. I may not sleep tonight, or ever have a blood pressure reading under three hundred again, but that idea’s coming out, whatever the hell it is.

In the meantime, I suppose I’ll have to find something else to entertain you with. How about… I don’t know. Tap dancing? Naked ventriloquism? Juggling failed American Idol contestants? What would you like?

I know — how about my top five Blogger Idol posts for the week? That sounds like fun, and it looks a little something like this:

Wayne of Codswallop and Flapdoodle — This, That, and the Other Thing
nodus of Erumpent — Wrong Terminal
Jon of Quality Control — Reloadus Interruptus
technodummy of technodummy — 12 Reasons
Violet of Seasons of Violet — Princess Sunny

Well, that’s all for now, folks. I’m just certain there’s something very special coming out of my brain soon, but I’m also pretty damned sure that this wasn’t it. I suppose all I can do is finish off the chocolates and try to get some sleep. Perhaps all will be revealed in the morning. Until then, may you sleep well, and may your dreams be filled with spandex and rhesus monkeys. Not necessarily at the same time; it all depends on how much you think you’re ready to handle. But in any case, sleep tight!