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He’s Out! He’s In! He’s Out Again!

Hey, folks!

I’ve gotta be quick here — and no, I don’t ‘say that to all the girls’, thank you very little. Damned perverts.

Anyway, first, I apologize for being AWOL for the past few days. I have a lot of good excuses I could make up, but don’t have that kind of time right now. Give me time. Later, I’ll come up with some real doozies and wing ’em at you. Maybe I’ll throw hurricanes in there, or aliens or something. Some sort of international intrigue, if I can think of anything good. Or maybe I’ll forget, and you can just assume I’m a negligent asstastic bastard. That’s what most people end up doing, sooner or later.

Unfortunately, I can’t make up for much of my virtual absence right now — my ISP is having a ‘planned network outage’ starting… um, well, technically, about five minutes ago, and lasting until about three this morning. When I plan to be sleeping. Possibly drooling on the pillow. And dreaming of large women.

(No, not really. It’s a line from Princess Bride, all right? And somehow, I think actually admitting that I’m quoting Princess Bride is just about the only thing that could make me less cool than quoting it in the first place. I’m kind of a douchebag, when you get right down to it.)

Anyway, the point is: I’m not dead. Just elsewhere, but I’ll be back for real tomorrow. But not at three in the morning tomorrow, so you’ll have to make do with this nonsense until some decent hour, when I can get my shit together and actually write on a topic for once this week. Assuming this thing posts to begin with, that is. I’d better wrap this up, to make sure everyone gets their jollies tonight, eh?

And yes, as a matter of fact, I do say that to all the girls. So far as you know, anyway. I’ll catch you tomorrow. Toodles!