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Ahhhhhhhhh… Oh Yeah, That’s Better!

Wow, that was hard!

I’ve been playing along with the new guest-posting game dreamed up by Al over at Shouting Into the Void. First, I submitted a post to Al, which he was kind enough to post, and leave as the ‘top story’ for more than a day, as per the rules. That was the easy part.

(Never mind that the post rambled on for-frickin’-ever, and not one damned person commented on it. This was the first guest post penned for this new meme, you know. We groundbreaking pioneers expect to be misunderstood, and even ignored, in our own lifetimes.

But just you wait — a couple decades after I die, that post is gonna be huge. Ginormous. They’ll probably make holomovies and neurobooks out of it. Seriously. Mark my frickin’ words, people.)

But the next part was hard. I had to pick a guest poster of my own from the multitudes handful three people who offered to give it a whirl. And all three had great ideas, so picking Brad out of the horde crowd smattering of would-be posters was no small feat.

In the end, though, Brad‘s offer to write about flushable folded wipes caught my attention, and so I posted his story. And again, that part was easy. I could take the afternoon off and actually do some real work! Result!

Then the evening rolled around, and I left work. And went home, exhausted and happy to be spending some ‘quality time’ with the wife. Fine. But this morning, we got up, and she left to run some errands. A perfect opportunity to post an entry! But gah! — it was only ten-thirty. I couldn’t post for another three-plus hours. I was honor-bound to give Brad‘s excellent post the full twenty-four hours it so richly deserves. Eek.

And so… I went postless. And it was tough, people! I mean, I’ve gone a full twenty-four hours without posting before — but never when I was able to post, and ready to post, and downright itching to post, but prohibited from posting. Oh, sure, I could have cheated, just a little — but really, that’s not fair to any of us. We all need rules to live by, and most of mine lately seem to involve this site you’re reading. I wasn’t about to bend the rules out of boredom.

However, now that it’s all over, I will show you just how bored and anxious to post that I was. Hopping around on other blogs, I found a cool new toy, and created a cockeyed Valentine’s heart, just for you. It’s made out of other hearts, and features a few of my favorite slogans.

(The short slogans, anyway. There’s not much room to write on those little peckery things, that’s for friggin’ sure.)

Check it out — you may have to stretch your browser out to see the heart shape, but really, that’s not particularly the point. I think the real issue is that I spent a couple of hours thinking up the slogans, downloading the pictures, and finding a way to arrange them into a heart shape.

So you see, dear reader — I was away for a while, but I’m always thinking of you. And now I’m back! ‘Cat poop’ hearts all ’round! Yay, us!

Oh, and one more thing — now that I’m back, I can remind you that Round Three of Blog Madness is under way!

This time around, I’m up against Today’s Shoes, and her heart-gripping post ‘Back Home‘. I’d like to encourage all of you to read ’em both, pick your fave, and then rock the vote! Remember, if you don’t vote, then you can’t complain when I’m elected President and declare Wednesdays ‘No, Really Hump Day, Seriously This Time‘.

(I mean, shit, folks — if we’re gonna keep calling it that, let’s get a federal ruling out there, slap on the damned baby oil, and get to it, fer chrissakes. Nobody likes a damned tease!)

(Oh, and in case anyone notices, don’t get your knickers in a twist if you go see the latest post at Today’s Shoes and see that she’s trying to coerce votes, and calling me ‘evil’, and all of that. I’m sure it’s all in good fun.

Course, if she wins this round, I’m gonna throw a Hefty bag full of hippo droppings on her front porch and light it on fire. ‘Fun’ is one thing, but I wouldn’t want to think she got herself an unfair advantage or anything. *sniff*)