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Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA

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Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!

A Blast… from the Future

Hey, sports and… um, sportettes? Sportinas? Sporterellas? Yeah, never mind. You get the idea.

Anyway, sorry for this post coming so late — I’m writing this around noon on Sunday, and calling it Saturday’s post. But I do have a fair set of excuses to explain my scandalous tardiness. Namely, that I spent most of yesterday working, and then watched the NCAA Final Four games with the missus and a couple of friends. I tried logging on after the UConn victory, but I couldn’t get to the site — based on the server logs, it looks like it was down for a couple of hours last night and early this morning.

So, you see, it’s not really my fault, really. Clearly, the universe was conspiring against me yesterday. Hell, it even whisked away the last hour of the night, with that whole ‘Daylight Savings’ nonsense thingy.

And speaking of which, how the hell did the farmers ever get enough clout to get that bullshit started, anyway? The way I always heard it, Daylight Savings came about to ‘create’ a ‘longer’ day for the agricultural crowd, so they could work until a later hour and still be able to see.

Well, first of all — haven’t these people ever heard of floodlights? If more of these crop-growin’ goobers would put in ‘Field of Dreams’ lights in their cornfields, then they could see perfectly any damned time they wanted. I’ve seen that movie several times, and I don’t recall even once hearing Kevin Costner bitching about it being too dark to see the cornstalks in front of his face.

(On the other hand, people were always disappearing into the crops in right field. Maybe the lights didn’t work so well, after all. You’d think they’d have started tying ropes around their waists or something.)

More to the point, though, since when is the ag crowd important enough to get the whole frigging day shifted around? Or any group, for that matter — you don’t see the workday moved back to end at 4pm, so we’re in synch with the bankers, or weekends stretched to five days to keep up with the Congressional schedule. What’s so special about Farmer Brown and his ilk, anyway?

(That’s ‘ilk’, people, not ‘milk‘ — there’s a bit of a difference. Try and keep up, now, and stop wondering how moo juice is relevant to the conversation, okay?)

Anyway, I suppose I should be happy that we ended up with Daylight Savings — the alternative would be for the rest of us to match their schedule and get up at the crack of hell every day, then go to bed by seven at night, or some ridiculous shit like that. How much ass would that suck? And how the hell would we watch Law and Order, or the Simpsons? All the really good shit happens after 8pm in this world. Those farmy folks don’t know what they’re missing.

All I know is that if those crop-growers can shift an extra hour into the day for six months every year, then I can write one weblog entry on Sunday and call it Saturday’s post. So that’s what I’m doin’. I’ll be back later today — no, really! — with your regular Sunday dose of drivel. This weekend has got time wiggling around all over the clock!

Permalink  |  3 Comments

3 Responses to “A Blast… from the Future”

  1. QC says:

    The ag crowd are the ones with all the food. Personally, I wouldn’t want to go pissing them off…

  2. Brenda says:

    I didn’t know we country farming folks could do all that! Heck, the tractors have lights and satellite guidance systems on them now so I reckon that could cease with the extra hour of sunlight if they wanted. I kinda like it this way though and wish it wouldn’t go back in the fall.

  3. Brenda says:

    P.S. What QC said makes sense too of course!! heh

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