See, This Is Why We're Married - Where the Hell Was I?

January 16, 2004

See, This Is Why We’re Married

My wife and I are a perfect match — we understand each other very well, and appreciate the other’s talents, thoughts, and outlook on life. Allow me to illustrate the ‘give and take’ that we share with two small examples from this evening’s festivities.

Example 1: We were sitting on the couch, watching TiVoed standup comedy, when a commercial came on. Normally, I’d fast-forward through them, but I wanted to take the opportunity to ask her a very serious and delicate question:

Me: ‘Hey, hon… I’ve been working on my standup set for Sunday, and I wanted to get your advice.‘

Her: ‘Okay, I’ll try.‘

Me: ‘All right — do you prefer ‘tender pooper’, or ‘boo-boos on your pooper’?‘

Her: ‘Hmmmm. I think I like ‘tender pooper’, but it depends on the context‘

There was more to the conversation, of course — I told her the context, and we discussed the merits of each line, and finally decided that yes, ‘tender pooper‘ is probably the way to go.

(I don’t want to give too much away here, in case some of you are thinking of coming to see the show at the All Asia Cafe this Sunday. Wouldn’t want you to be bored, of course.)

But the important thing is that she actually gave the question some thought, and gave a well-considered, helpful answer. You know, instead of replying with something like:

‘What in the hell did you just say, and why haven’t I divorced your stupid ass yet?‘

Yep. That’s mah girl. *sniff*

Example 2: Just to show you that the ridiculous crap flies both ways in this relationship, here’s something she said, with a perfectly straight face, not ten minutes later, in a completely different conversation:

‘Oh, I’ll get booties. I’m gonna get electric booties!‘

Yep, we’re two perverted peas in a pod, folks. Jealous much?