Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA

All Quotes


Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!

The Importance of Not Being Ernest

They say Sunday is a day of rest. I’m not going to ‘rest’ in my writing today, but I’m planning on taking it a little easy. Let’s just call Sunday a ‘day of laze’.

Hey, nobody’s going to put out a thousand words every day.

(Unless you’re Hemingway, maybe. That guy was a freak of nature. On Sundays, he’d pop out a novel in the morning, hunt buffalo for lunch, wrestle a bull before a three-martini siesta and marry three women over the course of the evening.

Don’t even ask what his Tuesdays were like. Let’s just say that Hemingway didn’t always drink beer. But when he did, my friends… well, he probably drank an awful lot of it. Hemingway didn’t stay thirsty — or still — for very long.

Me, I’m no Hemingway. But if you’ve made it this far, then you know that already. Moving on.)

So this seems as good a time as any to (re-)introduce a dusty old feature here, Charlie’s Big List of Lists. As it says on the page there, these are inspired by — and sometimes summarily rejected by — similar lists that occasionally show up at McSweeney’s.

“Mostly, it’s an exercise in brevity. Today, it’s an excuse to wrap up early and take a Sunday nap.”

Mostly, it’s an exercise in brevity. Today, it’s an excuse to wrap up early and take a Sunday nap.

But it also serves a purpose. Everyone seems to have a roadmap for kick-starting the economy. Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians, librarians, Rastafarians, septuagenarians… I seem to be the only one left without a plan. Until now.

My Four-Pronged Plan to Stimulate the Economy

1. Mild electroshock treatment

2. Deep tissue massage

3. Profound existential conversation

4. Hustler

That’s it for today, and it’s back to bed for me. Eat your heart out, Ernest. The rest of you have a pleasant — and none too taxing — Sunday. Adieu.

Permalink  |  2 Comments

2 Responses to “The Importance of Not Being Ernest”

  1. Hey! We had the same list! Except my #4 was “tacos”. Yours makes you a pervert. :)

  2. Charlie says:

    Look, OB — you want to give the economy indigestion, I want to give it a happy ending.

    Perverted or no, I’m pretty sure Congress would vote for my plan first. I’m only saying.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Me on Film 'n' Stage:
  Drinkstorm Studios

Me on Science (silly):
  Secondhand SCIENCE

Me on Science (real):
  Meta Science News

Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon

Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

...Bleeding Obvious
By Ken Levine
Defective Yeti
Divorced Dad of Two
Gallivanting Monkey
Junk Drawer
Life... Weirder
Little. Red. Boat.
Mighty Geek
Scott's Tip of the Day
Something Authorly
Unlikely Explanations

Full Archive

Category Archives:

(Stupid) Computers
A Doofus Is Me
Articles 'n' Zines
Audience Participation
Awkward Conversations
Bits About Blogging
Bitter Old Man Rants
Blasts from My Past
Cars 'n' Drivers
Dog Drivel
Foodstuff Fluff
Fun with Words!
Grooming Gaffes
Just Life
Loopy Lists
Making Fun of Jerks
Marketing Weenies
Married and a Moron
Miscellaneous Nonsense
Potty Talk / Yes, I'm a Pig
Sleep, and Lack Thereof
Tales from the Stage
Tasty Beverages
The Happy Homeowner
TV & Movies & Games, O My!
Vacations 'n' Holidays
Weird for the Sake of Weird
Whither the Weather
Wicked Pissah Bahstan
Wide World o' Sports
Work, Work, Work

Alas Smith and Jones
Berkeley Breathed
Bill Hicks
Dave Barry
Dexter's Laboratory
Douglas Adams
Evening at the Improv
Fawlty Towers
George Alec Effinger
Jake Johannsen
Married... With Children
Monty Python
Nick Bakay
Peter King
Ren and Stimpy
Rob Neyer
Sluggy Freelance
The Simpsons
The State

Plugs, Shameless
100 Best Humor Blogs | Healthy Moms Magazine



Feeds and More
Subscribe via FeedBurner


RSS 2.0
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Performancing Metrics

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS!

© 2003-15 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved