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Howdy, friendly reading person!I don’t really have to explain what’s happened any more, do I?
Those of you who are familiar with these posts know that you’re about to get another list rejected by the good folks at McSweeney’s, and you know there’s more of this sort of nonsense posted in Charlie’s Big List of Lists. Also, you know that another list will be on its way to McSweeney’s posthaste, to try and even the score.
“Eeyore Takes a Nap”
The rest of you probably don’t care much about any of that, and all of you are now wondering when the hell I’ll get on with the damned thing. So I will, right now. Here’s the latest loopy list you’ll see not in McSweeney’s, not in other zines or sites, and nowhere else but here. Better list next time, eh?
Leading Roles for Which Jim Carrey Will Someday Be Turned Down
“Quiet Dignity”
“Subdued in Seattle”
“The Way It Was: The Walter Kronkite Story”
“Being Ben Stein”
“C-SPAN: The Movie”
“Eeyore Takes a Nap”
“Aretha”
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Don’t sweat it Charlie, at least you’re getting rejection slips. They’re not even giving me the time of day.