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Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA

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Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!

Hey, Who Dropped a Monday in Front of My Weekend?

You ever have one of those mornings, when you’re just sort of sleepwalking through your routine? You shower, and dress, and shave whatever it is that you shave, and brush the things that you usually brush, but you’re not really thinking about any of it. Does that happen to you, too?

So, then, do you ever forget where you’re at in the process? I do that a lot. Usually, I find myself standing in the shower, with a wet head, trying to figure out whether I’ve actually washed my hair yet, or just soaked my head. It’s kind of embarrassing — but I guess on the long, sordid list of assheaded crap that I do, it’s pretty close to the bottom. Nobody’s around to see it, and the solution is pretty damned easy — I can just keep washing my hair, over and over, until I remember. I go through a lot of shampoo bottles that way, but my follicles are always nice and shiny.

Of course, that’s not the worst that can happen. I’ve also lost track of whether I’ve shaved or not. Again, that’s pretty easy to double-check, but if I forget to do that, too, then I have to spend the day all scruffy. And itchy. And slightly more hoboish than usual.

The worst is when I forget whether I’ve put deodorant on, though. Again, there’s nobody around to call me on it, and point and jeer, but that is one time where it’s no picnic to check your work, especially if you haven’t antiperspirantized yourself already. There’s nothing quite like a snootful of armpit funk first thing in the morning to make you want to crawl back under the covers and start over again in a couple of hours.

It wasn’t quite that bad today. I made it through most of the pitfalls — today, I only walked downstairs without my pants on.

(Oh, I had boxers on, dammit — I wasn’t ‘swinging in the breeze’ or anything. I just forgot to slip on a pair of overpants, is all.)

Luckily, I managed to figure out why I felt so drafty before leaving the house, and scampered back upstairs for a fitting. So, it could have been worse. Like the time I forgot to dry off before getting dressed, or when I made it all the way to work without a shirt on. The tan was great, but there were… questions. Embarrassing questions. And pictures. I didn’t need that, really.

Anyway, I guess I’m all set to go today — I’ve washed, brushed, shaved, and now I’m even wearing pants. All I’ve gotta do is remember my keys, and I’m all set to go. Wish me luck, folks. It’s been one of those mornings. I give me about a fifty-fifty shot. Meh.

Permalink  |  7 Comments

7 Responses to “Hey, Who Dropped a Monday in Front of My Weekend?”

  1. Karen says:

    I know how you feel. I keep deodorant in the car for just that act of forgetfullness. Good luck on your Monday flavored Friday.

  2. Mike says:

    I’ve done that with the shampoo a lot. The other big one I do, althrough not very often, but probably very scary is look up when I’m driving, and not know where the hell i am. I have to look around and figure it out. That’s probably the worst I do.

  3. Steph says:

    I went all the way to work without shoes once. THankfully, I had an old pair in the trunk from a weekend excursion that I hadn’t put up.


  4. Dawn says:

    LOL! Very funny – I do the same thing! I’m so used to having my pants off (because I usually hang out around the house almost naked – I know, too much information), that I actually have to look down at my legs to make sure I DID indeed put pants on before I leave the house. I always feel like an idiot.

  5. Sheryl says:

    Found you at the Zero Boss. Just popping into say “Hi” –oh my God! Sorry, I’ll come back when you’re dressed.

  6. susan says:

    i know the feeling well. my two worst wardrobe malfunctions happened after i had left the house.

    1.) i got to the railway station and still had my slippers on. luckily my mother noticed as i was getting out of the car…

    2.) i discovered at the bus stop that i had put my shirt on inside out – i had to go into a shop and ask to use their bathroom so i could fix it up.

  7. pickwick says:

    Hehehe – Thank you! I’ve never been here before, but I will again…

    Take a look at this…


    (Hope you don’t mind… it’s just a new blog. It will get there…)

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