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Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA

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Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!

Can the ‘Frankpocalypse’ Be Far Behind?

Well, I suppose getting noticed for anything is better than being ignored, right?

Only… I’m not sure I’m so comfortable about what I’m getting noticed for lately. Namely, my recent rant about the ‘Girthy Hot Dog’ man.

(Jeez, I feel creepy just typing that. Somebody get me a shower and a Playboy, would you?)

Anyway, I figured that post — like most of my entries — would slip, virtually unnoticed, into the ether, never to draw attention again, after a few reads and a couple of (much-appreciated and lustily perused) comments.

Well. Seems I was wrong. Also seems I’m setting a bit of a trend. Or following a trend, and getting swept up in the sweet, sweaty girthyness of it all.

(Again, need a shower. Why won’t this creepiness scrub off?!)

Look, the point is, that post from Monday is getting a bit of early attention — two intrepid web searchers out there have already found this little site of mine through the following searches:

Bitches. I always said I wanted to be known for my girthitude… but not like this. Not like this!

And if you noticed, I’m one of the top results in both those searches. Two separate and distinct search engines have deemed yours truly a top resource — perhaps even an expert — for all of the world’s girthy weiner needs.

(For the love of all that jiggles in the night… there’s no shower wet enough to wash that one off. *shudder*)

Eh, I suppose I’ll just have to deal with it. And hey, if it gets more people interested in this drivel… eyeballs are eyeballs, right? Even if they are in search of girthitatious weenies. And I have found some pretty funny similar blog posts by hopping through the search results — at least I’m not the only one wigged out by this ad.

Of course, this post isn’t going to help matters. I must have blurted ‘girth’ in one form or another a half dozen times. That’ll keep the wiener-seekers knocking on the door for a while longer, I’m sure. Maybe that’s okay — maybe I’ll play this thing up, and try to become the ‘King of Girth’. I’ll change the name of the site — it’ll be ‘Girth ‘n’ Mirth‘. No, wait — ‘Girthy Giggles‘. How about ‘Plump Juicy Weiners and Steamy Buns‘? No? Too much?

Ah, well. I tried. And hey — at this point, I think we all need a shower. So at least I’ve managed to drag you into my nightmare, too. That’s something. Misery loves girthery, you know. Heh.

Permalink  |  4 Comments

4 Responses to “Can the ‘Frankpocalypse’ Be Far Behind?”

  1. Frac says:

    Didn’t the three wise men bring gold, frankpocalypse and girth?

  2. wlfldy says:

    ok, so do you really want readers who have been out searching for girthy wienies?

  3. Dawn says:

    Gosh, your blog cracks me up. Thank you for the chuckles! I remember seeing that commercial and thinking ‘WTF????’. Thanks for mentioning it!

  4. Karen says:

    It seems to me that you’re turning this girthy word into a knock-off Smurfs catch phrase. And that’s girth-tastic…or something.

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