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Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA

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Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!

Um… ‘Mulva’?

Please, folks, don’t take it personally, but I’m just no good with names.

Seriously. We cool, we tight, and all of that. You know I love you, and I’d be happy to buy you a beer, any time. (And probably soon, to make up for not having your name handy when we run into each other.)

So please accept my apologies in advance, because it’s going to happen, sooner or later, and quite likely early and often. It’s this mental block I have on people’s names. I can’t help it.

But I want you to be prepared, for both our sakes. So do us both a favor, and don’t be offended or put off when I call you one of the following ‘name substitutes’ that I commonly use when I’ve temporarily misplaced someone’s moniker. And remember, this is only a partial list:

For Him For Her For Both
Rufus Sunshine Skippy
Flubbo Cupcake Scooter
Poop Deck Mamacita Pork Chop
Sanchez Bunny Hop Sporty
Choppers Party Girl Lampshade
Corky Brunhilda Ziggy
Mr. Wiggles Pocahontas Funzo
Porterhouse Esmerelda Bobo
Putt Putt Smiley Noseface
Cactus Pete Weezy Grinny Pants
Denzel Yolanda Porcupine
Ray Ray Li’l Sistah Tricky

Wow, that’s quite a list. I had no idea I had so many names for people. So tell me, did I leave any out?

Permalink  |  6 Comments

6 Responses to “Um… ‘Mulva’?”

  1. Monkey says:

    I’m a big fan of the unisex “Chuckles”.

  2. Flip says:

    Lampshade??? I can live with the rest, but “lampshade”?? Where’s the logic in that…? :)

  3. Jeff A says:

    I think you could have stopped at Mr Wiggles and the post would have been just as satisfying. I am borrowing that one from you, mostly because my co workers are getting tired of me calling them assclown!

  4. Del Fuego says:

    I’m equally bad with names so I resort to much the same topic. My repertoire consists of dude, brother/sister, Jones, or sir.

    Beer always works to heal those wounds.


  5. tj says:

    i also respond to “hey you” and “partner”.

  6. Brenda says:

    You left out Suga!

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