The Short of It

December 10, 2003

So, TJ has asked for the ‘Cliff Notes’ version of last night’s post. Okay, fair enough. It was pretty damned long. Here ya go, TJ. I aims to please.

Blog Post Summary:

Lessee… first, there was a clever intro where I talked about kicking somebody in the balls. Then, I explained how BMW owners seem to hate me, for no good reason.

There were some wavy flashback lines — very impressive, by the way; all the Hollywood directors use those — and then a bunch of stories about asshats getting in my way in the snow, and how they all drove BMWs.

And… um, then I bitched some more, and I made up some new lyrics to songs that were mainly the word ‘bitch’ over and over. It was all very ‘in your face’ and powerful.

And then… well, more bitching, more bitching… dum de dum, bitching some more, still bitching… ooh, and I used ‘Eurotard’ in there once or twice. I was very happy with that.

And finally, I wrapped it up by saying that things might get better now… but really, they probably won’t. And there was some more cursing, and then it was over. Finis.

Hey, that was fun. And, you know, with just a couple of minor tweaks, you can pretty much use that summary for any of my posts. Just replace the ‘kick in the balls’ part with whatever’s appropriate to the topic (dogs drooling, or people pissing me off, or boobs doing… well, anything, really), and change ‘Eurotard’ to ‘assmagnet’ or ‘fuckknuckles’ or whatever ridiculous shit I’ve come up with that day, and there you go — instant summary! You might want to keep this post bookmarked, just in case.

So now what? Hey, I know! In keeping with today’s theme of ‘brevity’ (shaddup, it’s a relative term… and yes, I know this post is already longer than most people would bother with in a blog…), I’ll give you long-suffering readers (or is it long-reading sufferers?) a break, and keep things short and sweet today.

Of course, that just means that I’ll post several times, rather than one. You’re not getting off so easy, see — I’m just gonna give you some extra breathers in between the madness. I hope you find it just as unboobered as usual. Or at least not more boobered. The goal here is to reduce the booberitatiousness. Let’s see how this goes.

(Heh. ‘Fuckknuckles’. Pure genius. I’ve done it again!)