Thats-a Cranky Meat-a Ball!

July 7, 2012

Something nice happened to me this week. Something very nice. And somewhat confusing. And a little Italian.

I should explain, lest you think Joe Pesci showed up on my doorstep with flowers or something.

A couple of days ago, I got an email from my buddy Brad. He’s a long-time writer over at baseball site Bugs & Cranks — not to mention a funny character and a real standup guy. Also, he’s pretty tall. So no Joe Pesci, he.

You may recall that I wrote regularly myself over at B&C for a few years. I took a hiatus when my schedule busied up last summer, but those guys — and sometimes girls — have continued to kick ass and steal bases in the meantime. Including Brad. Naturally.

So I was pleasantly surprised to get the email, and frankly a little excited when he suggested maybe dropping a guest post or two over at the old ballyard site. That was really sweet, I thought. They’re chugging along, having a great season, but they thought of little ol’ me, nonetheless. Aw.

What? No, that’s not a tear. Maybe you’re sniffling. Shut up.

Anyway, things were all Cracker Jack and curveballs until I hit the last couple of sentences. See, Brad’s a veteran of the B&C crew, but he’s not the one running the whole show. So to let me know his offer had the blessing of the brass, he said that he was acting — semi-officially, at least, as the boss’ consigliere.

Now, I’m not Italian. I’ve only seen one of the Godfather movies. So I didn’t know what the hell that meant, exactly. So in my response, I hedged my bets. I thanked Brad for thinking of me, assured him that I’d be delighted to step back up to bat — more on that momentarily — and then tried to address the 600-pound Italian in the room:

“As for you serving as Smitty’s ‘consigliere’… uh, just pick whichever’s appropriate:

I’m sure you’ll be very happy together?

Remember that oregano is the secret to a good marinara?

I hope the horse makes a full recovery?

Are we still allowed to play bocce together?

Please don’t kill me; I have a family?

So there’s no telling where that wrinkle is heading. Meanwhile, hey — I’ve got a new post over at Bugs & Cranks, for the first time in almost a year!:

A Sox Pox, Redux?

So there’s that. And I need to learn Italian, apparently. Just another day in paradise.