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Please, No Soccer Yahooligans

Well, hello, there!

I’ve noticed a few new faces around here today, many of you dropping by from Yahoo! It seems that this little tuft of the weblog merengue was added to the directory today, and appears in both the New Additions and Humor Weblogs sections.

So, big wet sloppy thanks (don’t worry; we keep towels in the corner, right over there) to all of you… um, Yahooites that have stopped by today. Feel free to look around; pour yourself a drink from the bar, if you like. Have a nacho, or a complimentary mint chocolate. Don’t cost nothing.

(You know, come to think of it, is ‘Yahooites’ the correct term? Something just doesn’t seem right about that. How about ‘Yahoosters’? ‘Yahoovians’?

I’d call you ‘Yahootenannies’, but I have a strict personal rule about not referring to a group of strangers by any term that sounds like it could be a euphemism for genitalia. Not until the second date, anyway.

So if you want me to whisper soft, sweet ‘Yahootenanny’ nothings in your ear, then you’re gonna have to come back, and get to know me a little better. Oh, I’ll put out, but I’m not that easy. I’m old-fashioned that way.)

Anyway, welcome to all the new folks; if you get lost or confused or just horribly grossed out, just ask one of the regulars for help. Apparently, it’s possible to build up an immunity to this crap after a while. Me, I still get nauseous sometimes, but the tequila and Guinness cocktails usually take care of that. You can only imagine the dreams I have, but the sour tummy goes away. Like anything in life, it’s a tradeoff.

All right, that’s enough for now. I’d better get back to work. Whoever you are and whereever you’ve come from, I hope you enjoy your stay at Chez Charlie today. I know I will. Now where’d that bottle of tequila go, anyway?