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Nothing to Worry About… It’s All Under Control…

(originally posted late Monday night, in an inadvisable fit of blind optimism)

Hey, all.

Just a quick note to let you know that comments might not work for a little while.

For that matter, nothing may work for a little while, so please bear with me.

(Of course, if nothing is working, then you’re not reading this. Which means you’re probably not bearing with me, either. You’re probably off staring at some shiny object, or playing with your keys, or something. Damned distractable readers.)

Anyway, I’m upgrading MT tonight — some combination of the comment script in my current version (2.661, for those who would recognize that rev and give a damn), my MT-Blacklist install, my banned comment-spamming bastard IP address list, and the comment traffic generated from aforesaid spamming bastards is occasionally bringing the server to its metallic little knees. That’s what we technical sorts call a ‘bad thing‘.

And I don’t know what’s causing it, so I’m gonna take the first stab-in-the-dark shot at fixing it — upgrade everything, and hope that helps, somehow.

(Actually, as we all know, that’s the second stab-in-the-dark shot — the first is always rebooting the machine. And that helps — but in this case, the problem comes back, so it’s not terribly feasible. So, in I go to tinker. Apologies in advance — or after the fact, if you’re reading this later — for any inconvenience, frustration, or elevated blood pressure this might cause.

Thanks for your patience. You can all go back to playing with your keys now. Good night.

Update: Well shit, that was easy. Not necessarily helpful, with respect to the current issue, but really pretty damned easy. Woo.

On the other hand, the box to type in entries is about twenty characters wide, which — as you can imagine, given my prodigious verbosity — is pretty fricking inconvenient. But I’ll tinker with that later. For now, things seem to be relatively under control.

So put your keys down, dammit, and go check out the new Punchline Fever from the last post. Go on — you know you want to. Now scoot!

Update to the Update: Nope. Bitches. The new MT installed okay, but I couldn’t fight the new MT-Blacklist into place. It might have something to do with the version of Perl on the server. Or that I’m a moron, and it’s two-thirty in the morning now. Feh.

Anyway, the good news is — things are back to ‘normal’, and you probably didn’t notice a damned thing. But I’m still not sure what’s up with the comment script, including why it takes up so much damned memory and why it takes so long to run. This isn’t the ‘rocket science’ part of the site, people. At least, it’s not supposed to be.

Eh, fuck it. I’m off to bed, just as soon as I clear out the twenty(!) comments spamming douchebags left in the hour or so while I was unprotected and running the new version of MT. Lousy fuckers. Let your guard down for a minute, and wham — here come the penis pill ads. Bitches!

Really, Really Final Update This Time: Well, now it’s Tuesday morning, and I’m just annoyed at all the time I spent getting nowhere. And this post isn’t very interesting, so I’m gonna backdate it to before the Punchline Fever! post, to give you kids osmething ‘cheery’ up top. I’m nothing if not a ‘sunny side of the streeter’, bitches. More soon.