Charlie Hatton About This
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Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA

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Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!

As the Xerox Turns?

Hey, all — just a short note (which is all I’m really capable of before ten in the damned morning — sheesh) to point you towards Lucky at Crimeny, who’s pandering for hits offering a cool prize to a lucky someone who takes part in a little contest she’s running today. And today only, so get your butts over there — believe me, I’m not gonna post anything interesting here for a few more hours, so go see what Lucky’s up to. You might win something. It’ll be fun.

Of course, if you should win said contest, thereby beating me, you’ll have to share your loot. I’m looking for twenty percent, folks. So if it’s a CD, I get two songs. If it’s a book, I’ll take the dust jacket and a couple of chapters. A DVD? The cover and the scene with the car chase, or the showdown, or the last-ditch stand, or the big confrontation — whatever’s actually interesting — that’s mine. And ladies, if you win a pair of lacy panties, I get the crotch.

(See, now, this is what sucks about blogging before your brain’s really working… I can’t decide whether to follow that up with:

Man, I always end up with the crotch. Bitches!


Unless they’re already crotchless. Then you can just send me a picture of you trying them on. I do loves to see people enjoying their prizes. Um… so to speak.


Just let me know whether you wore the undies before sending the crotch, though. It’s fine either way — I just have to know which wing of my ‘Panties and Panty Pieces Museum’ to store them in.

Or probably there’s something better than those that I haven’t thought of. Man, this shit is just hopeless before ten am. Even when I find a way to set myself up — turning a perfectly innocent contest into ‘panty crotches’? Hel-lo? That’s genius! — I can’t follow through.

Bleh. If you come up with a better way to end this nightmare, or you wanna vote for one of my options above, drop me a comment. I’m gonna go soak in the shower until I can think straight again.)

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HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Me on Film 'n' Stage:
  Drinkstorm Studios

Me on Science (silly):
  Secondhand SCIENCE

Me on Science (real):
  Meta Science News

Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon

Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
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How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
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  #100: My Poor Knee

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Quantum Terminology

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Defective Yeti
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