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As the Xerox Turns?

Hey, all — just a short note (which is all I’m really capable of before ten in the damned morning — sheesh) to point you towards Lucky at Crimeny, who’s pandering for hits offering a cool prize to a lucky someone who takes part in a little contest she’s running today. And today only, so get your butts over there — believe me, I’m not gonna post anything interesting here for a few more hours, so go see what Lucky’s up to. You might win something. It’ll be fun.

Of course, if you should win said contest, thereby beating me, you’ll have to share your loot. I’m looking for twenty percent, folks. So if it’s a CD, I get two songs. If it’s a book, I’ll take the dust jacket and a couple of chapters. A DVD? The cover and the scene with the car chase, or the showdown, or the last-ditch stand, or the big confrontation — whatever’s actually interesting — that’s mine. And ladies, if you win a pair of lacy panties, I get the crotch.

(See, now, this is what sucks about blogging before your brain’s really working… I can’t decide whether to follow that up with:

‘Man, I always end up with the crotch. Bitches!‘

or

‘Unless they’re already crotchless. Then you can just send me a picture of you trying them on. I do loves to see people enjoying their prizes. Um… so to speak.‘

or

‘Just let me know whether you wore the undies before sending the crotch, though. It’s fine either way — I just have to know which wing of my ‘Panties and Panty Pieces Museum’ to store them in.‘

Or probably there’s something better than those that I haven’t thought of. Man, this shit is just hopeless before ten am. Even when I find a way to set myself up — turning a perfectly innocent contest into ‘panty crotches’? Hel-lo? That’s genius! — I can’t follow through.

Bleh. If you come up with a better way to end this nightmare, or you wanna vote for one of my options above, drop me a comment. I’m gonna go soak in the shower until I can think straight again.)