My Mug Overfloweth

July 17, 2011

I’m proud to announce that the Mug of Woe essay collection is now an actual, live, honest-to-god thing.

Not as proud as the people who did actual work on the book, of course. That would be co-editors Jenn and Kyle. Me, I just wrote a little essay about some stupid thing I did when i was a kid. I had the easy job. These two put me — and several dozen other people — in a book. Nobody’s done that since the White Pages people. Pretty sweet.

Also, on Friday, they threw a party at a local pub and drinkery concern for all of the authors to celebrate the book release. Those phone book bastards never bothered to do that. But so far as I know, the phone book’s never been available on Amazon, either. Fair’s fair, I guess.

Of course, there was just a teensy little catch. When we’d all arrived and lubricated up a little, it was announced that the book was, in fact, at that moment live on Amazon.

In Korea.

“Would it be called ‘Teacup of Woe’ instead? ‘Earthenware Pot of Misery’? ‘Bridge Over the River Kwai’?”

Now, that raised two immediate questions. First, was the book being translated into other languages? Because that seemed like a bit of an issue. These are tales of raw, excruciating embarrassment — inappropriate family members, regrettable dating choices, animal hijinks, underaged drinking, public urination… and that’s pretty much just in the Foreword. Surely the mortification would lose something in translation. Even the title — are mugs common in Korea? Would it be called ‘Teacup of Woe’ instead? ‘Earthenware Pot of Misery’? ‘Bridge Over the River Kwai’? We had no idea.

Which led to the second question — was this Amazon South Korea, or North Korea? Because that could make a big difference, too. There’s at least a chance this silliness and heartbreak would play in Seoul. But in Pyongyang? The retitling to ‘Tales of Western Pig-Dogs with Lives Pitiable By Exalted Leader Kim’ might help, a little. If it still fits on the book jacket. But otherwise, I can’t see it breaking any sales records among the Korean Worker’s Party. Not in paperback, anyway. Kindle, maybe. A man can dream.

Meanwhile, on domestic-shored Amazon, the book is currently listed as ‘Available Soon’. How soon? I don’t know. Sooner than anyone in Korea is going to order it, perhaps. Will the volume hit other virtual shelves first? Will it debut next on Amazon Madagascar, or Amazon Papau New Guinea? Amazon in the Amazon basin, perhaps?

These are mysteries I cannot hope to unravel. I’m having trouble unraveling whatever opinions we shared about such things after about 10:30 Friday night. What I do know is, I’ve got a Mug of Woe on my dining room table right now.

And it’s delicious.