Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA

All Quotes


Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!

Phone-y Baloney Part II

(I’ve got science that jingle-jangle-jingles. Secondhand SCIENCE, that is. This week, we’re talkin’ ’bout splice junctions. Turns out your DNA is like cable TV. Hopefully, yours are in HD.)

(ETA: When I wrote the post below, I hadn’t realized I’d used the “Phone-y Baloney” title before for a post. But I did — just over two years ago, when I wrote about the ordeal of buying the phone that below I describe dying.

Mediocre minds think the exact same thing every two years, evidently. Freakay.)

My phone died last week.

Actually, it didn’t die so much as it developed some sort of selective amnesia. Before last week, it remembered that it had a SIM card nestled snugly in its internal socket. And then it forgot. The SIM card didn’t go anywhere. The phone didn’t get dropped on its head or anything. It just lost track, and wandered around the house asking, “Where’s my SIM card? Anyone seen my SIM card?

It was kind of sad, actually. Like old aunt Rita searching high and low for her eyeglasses, when they’re pushed up on her forehead the whole time. Unfortunately, you can’t reboot Rita and make sure her firmware is up to date. (Hint: It isn’t.) But you can try that with a phone, and if it doesn’t work — as it didn’t for me — then it’s time to buy a new phone.

Also, you might try supergluing Aunt Rita’s glasses onto her nose. I’m just trying to help.

Of course, my phone had just gone off contract. Which is nice, I guess, that I didn’t have anything left to pay on it. But I only had a month or two to get used to not paying for it, before it went kaput. I’m a little surprised it didn’t self-destruct the day immediately after it was paid. I guess they figure that would be too obvious.

Anyway, the phone went south. I decided I’d be smart about finding a replacement. I’d study reviews and specs and special features. I’d wait for a sale, or take advantage of some holiday-season deal. My research would be thorough, rational and comprehensive.

Then I spent a day without a working phone.

And then I bolted to a store and bought the first phone I saw that looked pretty and recognized a SIM card. Because what’s the point of living if you can’t tweet from the bathroom or play Two Dots while you’re stuck in traffic?

So I’ve got a new phone, and I’ve spent several days setting it up. Downloading all the apps I had. Copying over my old files. Setting “Bang the Drum All Day” as the ringtone when my boss calls. The usual.

The worst part of setting up a new phone is remembering all the passwords for apps and sites that were set on the old phone, and which you therefore haven’t thought about for two years (and a month). I’m not especially bright, so I forgot all of these passwords. Which was mostly just aggravating, but I almost locked myself in an endless loop of incompetence. To wit:

My new phone runs Android, and I forgot my Google password. So I reset it.

When you reset your Google password, Big G sends a text to your phone to confirm.

My phone wasn’t set up yet and the old phone was off wandering the streets in its pajamas or something, so I couldn’t get a text.

Google said fine, I’ll send an email to your backup account, and we’ll go from there.

Only my backup email account is with Yahoo, which is an enormous pain in the ass, so I have all that mail forward to my Gmail account…

…which requires a Google login, and I forgot my Google password.

Like I said, I’m not especially bright. But at least I know my SIM card is plugged in.

Eventually, I got it all sorted out and now I’ve got a new phone. So it’s all good.

For another two years and four weeks, which this phone will inevitably break in half, explode or break into its component molecules and float off into the ether. And then we’ll go through the process all over again. Death, taxes and broken paid-off phones. Them’s the breaks.

Permalink  |  No Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Me on Film 'n' Stage:
  Drinkstorm Studios

Me on Science (silly):
  Secondhand SCIENCE

Me on Science (real):
  Meta Science News

Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon

Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

...Bleeding Obvious
By Ken Levine
Defective Yeti
Divorced Dad of Two
Gallivanting Monkey
Junk Drawer
Life... Weirder
Little. Red. Boat.
Mighty Geek
Scott's Tip of the Day
Something Authorly
Unlikely Explanations

Full Archive

Category Archives:

(Stupid) Computers
A Doofus Is Me
Articles 'n' Zines
Audience Participation
Awkward Conversations
Bits About Blogging
Bitter Old Man Rants
Blasts from My Past
Cars 'n' Drivers
Dog Drivel
Foodstuff Fluff
Fun with Words!
Grooming Gaffes
Just Life
Loopy Lists
Making Fun of Jerks
Marketing Weenies
Married and a Moron
Miscellaneous Nonsense
Potty Talk / Yes, I'm a Pig
Sleep, and Lack Thereof
Tales from the Stage
Tasty Beverages
The Happy Homeowner
TV & Movies & Games, O My!
Vacations 'n' Holidays
Weird for the Sake of Weird
Whither the Weather
Wicked Pissah Bahstan
Wide World o' Sports
Work, Work, Work

Alas Smith and Jones
Berkeley Breathed
Bill Hicks
Dave Barry
Dexter's Laboratory
Douglas Adams
Evening at the Improv
Fawlty Towers
George Alec Effinger
Jake Johannsen
Married... With Children
Monty Python
Nick Bakay
Peter King
Ren and Stimpy
Rob Neyer
Sluggy Freelance
The Simpsons
The State

Plugs, Shameless
100 Best Humor Blogs | Healthy Moms Magazine



Feeds and More
Subscribe via FeedBurner


RSS 2.0
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Performancing Metrics

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS!

© 2003-15 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved