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I’ll Hold the Door, But Nothing Else!

The Scene: My office building, just outside the cafeteria.

The Crime: My boss, cradling his lunch, a muffin, and a Coke, reached the door to the hallway just as I, holding a plate of pizza, did. Unable to easily open the door himself, he said:

‘I’m going to have to rely on the kindness of your one free hand.‘

Unable to easily stop myself from being a smartass (but still opening the door for him), I said:

‘Sir, if that means what I think it means, you’ll be waiting a very long time.‘

The Punishment: Who knows? He probably didn’t even get the joke, thank goodness. And now I’m really happy I didn’t go with:

‘I bet you say that to all the guys, sir.‘

How I stay gainfully employed is a mystery, even especially to me.