Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA

All Quotes


Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!


#77. My nickname in high school and college was ‘Foz’.

Yes, that’s right. As in ‘Fozzy Bear’. Go ahead and laugh. I’ll just wait until you’re done.

Finished yet? No? Okay, I’ll wait.

All right, get it all out. Done? Still more? All right. Just tell me when.

Now? Well, shit. Look, man, I’ve got other things I’ve gotta do soon. Let’s wrap this up. Geez, people don’t lauch this hard when they accidentally say, ‘Sorry, Charlie‘ to me. (And that can just never get old. Right.)

Okay, all done? Good. Then we can get on with this.

So, I’m not sure exactly why I got the nickname in the first place. I like to think that it had something to do with either looking like a fuzzy muppet or my fractured sense of humor. But not both. (Though unfortunately, I think that’s really probably the case.)

In any event, I thought I might be done with the name after high school. After all, no one else in my class was foolish enough to venture to central Kentucky for college. (Or as the locals called it, ‘hagh’r edumacation‘.) But somehow or another, the name glommed onto me again, and stuck just as steadfastly as before. Steadfastlier, even, if that’s possible. (Or a word, which I’m pretty sure it isn’t.) I’d put money on several folks from college remembering me — if only vaguely — but only knowing me by ‘Foz’. My real name would probably get lots of blank stares. (And drooling, and possibly even a ‘dur-hur?‘ This was Kentucky, after all.)

But really, I didn’t mind. Maybe I was just mature for my age, and willing to let the others have their fun. Maybe I was just that good-natured, to take the ribbing in stride. And maybe — just maybe — I’d been called enough worse things at that point to make me think that comparisons to a puppet bear telling hackneyed jokes wasn’t such a bad thing, after all. In any case, I answered to ‘Foz’ for just about seven years.

But the name finally wore off. For one thing, I probably look too old to be Fozzy any more. Soon, I’ll look more like Gonzo than any of them, or maybe those old farts sitting up in the balcony. Humph. My old roommate from college still calls me ‘Foz’, but that’s about it. I really don’t see anyone from school these days (with my wife being a notable exception), so I don’t have a lot of people around calling me names any more (um, just ditto the last parenthetical remark here).

Still, I think the name was meant in fun. By most people, anyway. And it was kind of an interesting standard to try to live up to — could I really consistenently tell jokes that were that bad? I mean, the real Fozzy Bear had some doozies. Real groaners. Could I live up to the legend? Well… yeah. I think I did a pretty good job. Certainly, no one ever came up to me and said, ‘Hey, you need to be more corny if you’re gonna carry that name around, you know.‘ Nope. Not once. So I’d say I gave it a pretty good run. But I’ve hung up the ‘Wokka wokka‘s now — all you’ll find here on this site is subtle humor, witty commentary, and expertly applied sarcastic cynicism. Never a cheap joke, and no silliness whatsoever.

Right. And if you believe that, I’ve got a dolled-up karate-choppin’ pig I’d like you to meet. She’s a sweet little Piggy, but she tends to be a bit of a ham. ‘Wokka wokka wokka.‘ (Ah, just like old times.)

Permalink  |  2 Comments

2 Responses to “77”

  1. charlotte says:

    Wow, I love how you write, I just met a nice man who does the wakka wakka wakka thing and I was surfin to see if I could find some interesting artifacts on Fozzy Bear, came across you and want to tell you that I enjoyed your life works on this incredible actor lol. I know he is a muppet, silly and my hair isnt blonde, this week anyways. Give the wifie a kiss and a hug for me, and tell her she’s got a one of a kind guy, to count her lucky stars. Have a great life there!

    Charlotte from Florida

  2. naomi says:

    Here you can leave your mark

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Me on Film 'n' Stage:
  Drinkstorm Studios

Me on Science (silly):
  Secondhand SCIENCE

Me on Science (real):
  Meta Science News

Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon

Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

...Bleeding Obvious
By Ken Levine
Defective Yeti
Divorced Dad of Two
Gallivanting Monkey
Junk Drawer
Life... Weirder
Little. Red. Boat.
Mighty Geek
Scott's Tip of the Day
Something Authorly
Unlikely Explanations

Full Archive

Category Archives:

(Stupid) Computers
A Doofus Is Me
Articles 'n' Zines
Audience Participation
Awkward Conversations
Bits About Blogging
Bitter Old Man Rants
Blasts from My Past
Cars 'n' Drivers
Dog Drivel
Foodstuff Fluff
Fun with Words!
Grooming Gaffes
Just Life
Loopy Lists
Making Fun of Jerks
Marketing Weenies
Married and a Moron
Miscellaneous Nonsense
Potty Talk / Yes, I'm a Pig
Sleep, and Lack Thereof
Tales from the Stage
Tasty Beverages
The Happy Homeowner
TV & Movies & Games, O My!
Vacations 'n' Holidays
Weird for the Sake of Weird
Whither the Weather
Wicked Pissah Bahstan
Wide World o' Sports
Work, Work, Work

Alas Smith and Jones
Berkeley Breathed
Bill Hicks
Dave Barry
Dexter's Laboratory
Douglas Adams
Evening at the Improv
Fawlty Towers
George Alec Effinger
Jake Johannsen
Married... With Children
Monty Python
Nick Bakay
Peter King
Ren and Stimpy
Rob Neyer
Sluggy Freelance
The Simpsons
The State

Plugs, Shameless
100 Best Humor Blogs | Healthy Moms Magazine



Feeds and More
Subscribe via FeedBurner


RSS 2.0
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Performancing Metrics

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS!

© 2003-15 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved