Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA

All Quotes


Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!


#63. I have angled for catfish in the Louisiana bayou.

Actually, ‘angled’ is probably the wrong word for it. More accurately, I dangled for catfish in the bayou that day. But, um, that doesn’t sound so good, so perhaps I should explain.

I was pretty young — maybe six or eight years old, though I could be way off. (Hey, I can’t picture it that well in my mind, and who can tell how old little kids are by looking, anyway? Lay off, would you?)

Anyway, several members of our family (Heh. He said, ‘members’.) took a vacation to Plaquemine, Louisiana, to visit my great-aunt and uncle. Or ‘Aunt June and Uncle Junior’, as our party referred to them.

(How a man could be an ‘uncle’ and a ‘junior’ at the same time was beyond my limited capacity at the time. I suspect it was just a nickname, of course. On the other hand, much of my family has only relatively recently crawled out from the woods and ‘hollers’ of some rather scary territory, so it’s entirely possible that he was simultaneously someone’s son and uncle. Sometimes I wonder whether it’s just that sort of family.)

All right, enough of that. My aunt and uncle were nice people. I’ll save the muckraking for folks who are more deserving. So, anyway, we packed two or three cars full of crap and my parents and I, along with my grandparents (mother’s side) and an aunt and cousin (ditto), drove down to the bayou for a little Cajun adventure.

Unfortunately, I don’t remember too many details from the week. I think I had a lot of fun; it’s just that with all of the other memories around it that I’m likely repressing, that week may have gotten accidentally lumped in and locked away in the vault, too. A victim of indiscriminate mental editing, if you will.

The one thing I do remember, though, is the eight or ten or so of us paddling out into the croc-infested delta river in these army-green, half-assed aluminum rowboats. Or maybe it was gator-infested. I really can’t remember. I just know that I wouldn’t so much as dip a pinky toe into the drink for fear of pulling back a bloody, ragged stub. So we were all a little on edge throughout our little swamp-fari.

But we perservered, and finally made it to a good ‘catfish-huntin’ spot’. Which is where the dangling commenced, and from what I’ve just told you, you can be damned sure that the dangling didn’t involve any part of my tender young body. So if you got this far thinking that we’re taking little Willie for a dip in the pool, you’re going to be disappointed. Sadly.

Rather, the dangling in question was done by the fishing poles that we’d brought along for the occasion. And the reason I call it ‘dangling’ rather than ‘angling’ is that there wasn’t a hell of a lot of technique being displayed by our band of fisherfolk that day. Which was okay, as it turned out, because the fish just leapt onto our hooks. I don’t know whether these were domesticated catfish, or they weren’t used to humans, or maybe there were alligators on the bottom threatening to eat them if they didn’t jump into our boats. I honestly don’t know.

What I do know is that a slightly impatient and fidgety eight-year-old-or-so kid was able to yank in more than one Fish of Considerable Size™. If you could physically hold your damned pole still for thirty seconds — that’s fishing pole, friends, fishing — then you’d get a nibble. You wouldn’t always hook the sucker, but you’d get action almost as soon as the hook hit the water. And we weren’t using any high-tech, fancy-ass equipment, either. None of that. No sonar, or radar, or gadgetry of any kind. The rods were from K-Mart, I suspect, and the bait was dough balls and bits of cheese. And still, the fish came. And came, and came, and came.

It’s what fishing should be like, if you ask me. No long waits for a bite. No tossing fish back in, because they’re no good to eat. Oh, we threw a few small ones back, but many of the fish snagged that day were sixteen inches or longer. Plenty big to add to the catch for future tasty frying. Oh, and if you’re a small child — or, I suspect, a pretty girl — there’s even someone to slip the fish off your hook for you. Which was quite nice, I have to say. My grandfather took on that particular role, and earned more than one *slice* of his thumbs for the trouble. I love ya, Grandpa, but better you than me, at least at that point.

So that’s pretty much my story, or as much as I can remember. I do have vague recollections of eating those catfish — for breakfast, lunch, and dinner — over the next couple of days, and taking quite a bit of fish back home with us. Tasty little buggers, those catfish. And I suppose I’ve never really enjoyed fishing as much as I did that day, with everyone having fun, and in a new and exciting place, with danger potentially lurking behind every rock and at the end of each hook. Very exciting, I can tell you. Boy, if only I’d have been old enough to drink beer at the time, then it would have been the perfect fishing trip!

Permalink  |  No Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Me on Film 'n' Stage:
  Drinkstorm Studios

Me on Science (silly):
  Secondhand SCIENCE

Me on Science (real):
  Meta Science News

Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon

Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

...Bleeding Obvious
By Ken Levine
Defective Yeti
Divorced Dad of Two
Gallivanting Monkey
Junk Drawer
Life... Weirder
Little. Red. Boat.
Mighty Geek
Scott's Tip of the Day
Something Authorly
Unlikely Explanations

Full Archive

Category Archives:

(Stupid) Computers
A Doofus Is Me
Articles 'n' Zines
Audience Participation
Awkward Conversations
Bits About Blogging
Bitter Old Man Rants
Blasts from My Past
Cars 'n' Drivers
Dog Drivel
Foodstuff Fluff
Fun with Words!
Grooming Gaffes
Just Life
Loopy Lists
Making Fun of Jerks
Marketing Weenies
Married and a Moron
Miscellaneous Nonsense
Potty Talk / Yes, I'm a Pig
Sleep, and Lack Thereof
Tales from the Stage
Tasty Beverages
The Happy Homeowner
TV & Movies & Games, O My!
Vacations 'n' Holidays
Weird for the Sake of Weird
Whither the Weather
Wicked Pissah Bahstan
Wide World o' Sports
Work, Work, Work

Alas Smith and Jones
Berkeley Breathed
Bill Hicks
Dave Barry
Dexter's Laboratory
Douglas Adams
Evening at the Improv
Fawlty Towers
George Alec Effinger
Jake Johannsen
Married... With Children
Monty Python
Nick Bakay
Peter King
Ren and Stimpy
Rob Neyer
Sluggy Freelance
The Simpsons
The State

Plugs, Shameless
100 Best Humor Blogs | Healthy Moms Magazine



Feeds and More
Subscribe via FeedBurner


RSS 2.0
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Performancing Metrics

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS!

© 2003-15 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved