Original humor & comedy articles daily weblog

44

Charlie’s “100 Things Posts About Me”

#44. I’ve been to the top of the Empire State Building and the Eiffel Tower.

Well, okay, technically not the tippy-top of either structure. I’m not King Damned Kong over here. It gets windy and cold way up there on the radio antennae and such, and I’m a delicate flower, after all. And actually, I don’t think I’ve been up to the very most toppedest that people are allowed to go, either. From what I recall, the ‘Upper Observation Deck‘ in each structure was unavailable when we were there. Something about maintenance, or loose bolts, or a private party or something. Damned fat-cat bastards.

Still, the views from the near-upper decks were pretty damned awesome, too. I think I liked the Eiffel Tower view a bit better, maybe because of the ‘foreignness’ of everything I could see around me. I’ve only taken one trip to France, and so there was no familiarity with the surroundings at all. It was like taking a balloon ride over a city on the moon or something. Very cool.

The skyline of New York is grander, of course — at least in it’s enormity. There were buildings everywhere, and I could even recognize a few of them, and point at places I’d been earlier in the trip. You can really get a sense of the ‘concrete jungle’ concept from way up there — there are skyscrapers as far as the eye can see, in just about every direction. It’s a little intimidating.

Unfortunately, I don’t remember many details of the views, or about what exactly I was doing up in each tower. I was on vacation with my wife both times, I remember that. And it was the first time we’d been in either place together, so we were doing all the touristy shit, and gawking, and snapping photos of everything, and generally being out-of-town geeks. But the details are a haze — even the views, other than the general impressions that have remained, are indistinct and fuzzy in my memory. Maybe it’s just been too long. Or maybe I’ve just been to a lot of parties since then. Most likely, it’s because I’m still sort of afraid of heights, and maybe didn’t really want to look down and focus on anything.

But, in any case, I can say I’ve been. Two more stickers for the proverbial travelling suitcase. And since I’m not much of a mountain climber or anything, one of the two might have been the highest I’ve ever been, without the aid of a jet-propelled engine. So that’s pretty cool. Even if I don’t know which one it is, and I can’t remember the view. (Damn, I’m such a shitty tourist…)