Original humor & comedy articles daily weblog

20040922

Charlie’s Standup Comedy Journal

September 22, 2004: Polishing Up at the Studio

This was essentially a reworking of some of the bits I’d been doing for the last few shows, with a little bit of new

material and add-ons. But basically, the same stuff. Just better memorized, and hopefully, a little more

smoooooth.

(Which basically means, if you’ve watched the couple of clips before this, then you’re pretty much ruined for

all this stuff. You’ve already seen it, so this clip can’t possibly be funny. And, you’ve seen me do it when

I really didn’t know it all that well, so it wasn’t all that fricking great to begin with. You’ve just ruined both

our chances to get something out of this material. Nice. Nice job.

Jeez, the nerve of some people. Watching stuff in order. Tsk.)

Anyway, this show was a lot of fun. It’s nice having at least a little confidence that you’re not going

to go completely blank onstage, forget all your jokes, and have to tap dance for four and a half minutes up there.

Sure, your jokes could still suck… but at least you’ll get them out there, for the suckiness to be judged by

a bunch of half-potted strangers. Man oh man, do I love this job. Meh.

Honestly, though, check out the clip. Even if you’ve seen this crap before. At least you can see how much fun

I’m having, and that’s really what we’re all here for, right? And now I understand why people don’t do an

entirely different set every fricking time out.

You know, there might actually be something to this whole ‘do material more than once’ thing. Maybe all of those thousands of other comics are onto something here. Hmmm…

Download Clip of 09/22/04 Set —

Comedy Studio, Cambridge, MA (5 minutes, 24 seconds):

>

(Click photo to enlarge)

MPEG Format — 28MB

RealMedia Format — 9MB

Windows Media Format — 4MB

20040906

Charlie’s Standup Comedy Journal

September 06, 2004: Making the Connection

Ah, yes — the ‘big time’. Finally, we’ve moved on up to the east side. Pause a moment to bask in the glory, won’t

you?

Actually, it’s just another off-night, unpaid gig, just like all the others. But this one came at a

real live comedy club, where they even have national acts perform. I’ve seen Jake Johannsen there, myself — and Margaret Cho, even. Famous fucking people, we’re talking.

Of course, those people are there on Fridays and Saturdays — not Monday nights, when they’ll let any fool up

on stage. (Apparently.) Still, it’s a cool room, and it’s sort of fun to see myself in front of the same signage

that’s backed up real comedians. I could get used to that.

To top it off, the folks who came out to watch — maybe fifty or so, which is about a quarter of capacity, but

still probably more people than I’ve played to at once before — were quite nice. I even ‘took the bullet’ — that’s

‘going onstage first’ in standup parlance, for those of you not ‘in the biz’ — which is a risk because you never

know how lubed up for laughs the crowd is going to be. Trust me — like most comics, the drunker you are, the funnier I get. That’s just how it works.

Adding to the anxiety of a new room and an actual, real throng of people — and going on first, of course — is

that I didn’t actually know that I was going on first. I checked in with the booker, but not the host — hell,

until he walked onstage, I wasn’t sure who the host was — and so, no one told me what order we were going in.

Luckily, I was standing near the stage when he called my name, or it could have been really embarrassing.

(Which it almost was, anyway, because I was standing near the stage on my way to the pisser. And I had to go pretty damned badly, as I recall. So there was a fairly good chance that I would just pee myself on stage. And while it’s usually good to make the audience laugh until they pee, you really don’t want to be doing that yourself, in the middle of your act. Sort of detracts from the punchlines, as you can imagine.)

Anyway, give it a look, if you like. It may well be my last show at the Connection, so I’m glad it went pretty

well. See, soon after they booked me for this one, they started requiring the open mikers to bring ten — yes, you

read that right, ten — paying customers with them to get stage time. And I’m not sure I’ve got ten friends

left who are still willing to come watch me make an ass of myself in front of a mic. One, maybe. Two, I could

probably scrounge up. Anything over three, and I’d have to pay people off the street to fill the chairs. So unless

and until I really do make the ‘big time’, this might be the only footage of me you’ll ever see under the

Connection’s bright lights. So enjoy, dammit! Enjoy!

Clip of 09/06/04 Set —

Comedy Connection, Boston, MA (4 minutes, 52 seconds):

20040818

Charlie’s Standup Comedy Journal

August 18, 2004: Lights! Camera! Dorchester!

Oh, director! I’m ready for my closeup!

This was what we in ‘the business’ call a ‘special engagement’ show. Or maybe a ‘limited run’. Or ‘feature

presentation’. Definitely something with quotes around it, though. It was that special.

Actually, what happened was that the local Brookline cable access channel moseyed by to tape each comic’s set, to broadcast later to the millions and millions of adoring fans throughout… well, throughout Brookline, I expect.

So it’s not really millions of people we’re reaching, I suppose. Probably thousands in Brookline — maybe tens of thousands at the most.

And of course, not all of them watch cable access TV on a regular basis. So maybe we’ve got a target audience of a few hundred… who probably don’t all tune in for a look late on Sunday nights, when I think the clips are going to be run. So perhaps the ‘real’ audience will just just a tad smaller than I first estimated. Just

a touch.

Okay, let’s face it. The only people that are ever going to see the tapes from this show — apart from you

watching mine online, maybe — are forty-something insomniac dudes living in their parents’ basements, accidentally

finding local TV while they’re searching for scrambled porn. And you know, I don’t care. It was still a fun show. I won’t have my parade pissed on, dammit.

So, if you want to see the kind of energy and buzz that comes from not thinking these sorts of

things through before getting on stage, have a look at the clip. It’s even ‘TV-friendly’, if you can believe it.

(We were told to ixnay on the ‘money words’ in our sets, just in case the FCC was looking in on the

local cable access shows, ready to pimp-slap a big fat F-bomb fine on them. Personally, I think those guys probably

have other bugs to squash, but hey, I’m a team player. I went along for the ride. Does that mean I can call myself a

sellout and be all cool about it now? Oh, can I, can I please?)

Anyway, check it out. Hell, nobody else is ever gonna see it, so you might as well download it yourself.

Unless you’re one of those guys living in his ‘rent’s cellar, and you were surfing for Internet porn when you found

me. You guys, keep on moving. I’ve already got people like you lined up to watch, just as soon as the TV station gets around to airing my clip. Nothing to see here for you. Shoo!

Download Clip of 08/18/04 Set —

Emerald Isle, Dorchester, MA (5 minutes, 3 seconds):

(Click photo to enlarge)

MPEG Format — 26MB

RealMedia Format — 8MB

Windows Media Format — 4MB

20040816

Charlie’s Standup Comedy Journal

August 16, 2004: Debut at the Cantab Lounge

Comedy at the Cantab Lounge is quite an experience, folks. I’m not sure that a simple text description can really

do it justice, but I’ll try:

Comedy night is Monday. There aren’t many people there. We do our acts in the basement, under harsh lights

and exposed industrial pipes. The acoustics are weird, and the place smells a little funny.

Hmmmm. Nope, I guess I was wrong. That pretty much does do it justice. Welcome to the life of a

beginning standup comic, folks. Pass the champagne — we livin’ large, mofos!)

Anyway, there are good things about the Cantab, too. You can get a spot in the show just a week or two

in advance. It’s within five minutes of my office, so I can leave straight from work and be there in a jiffy. Half

a jiffy if I catch the traffic lights just right. And the bartender downstairs keeps plenty of Guinness

bottles handy, so it’s always a party at the Cantab Lounge on comedy night. Kind of a lonely, depressing,

‘Hey, is this a boiler room or what?” party, but still — party. Always.

(Ooooh, plus, after the show, if you get out in a reasonable amount of time, the excellent burrito place

across the street is still open, and you can munch down on some crazy snacks after the festivities. Folks, are you

getting all this — comedy, beer, and tasty food?! Plus an atmosphere straight out of the Silence of the

Lambs perp’s basement? Come on! Somebody pinch me; I’m dreaming!)

At any rate, check out the clip. If nothing else, you’ll see what I mean about the lights. And the pipes. And

the acoustics. The surroundings are a bit grim in general, I have to admit. But it’s another venue, with a

cool barkeep and cold drinks, and I’m happy to have another place where I can tell jokes until the crowd throws

bottles at my crotch. Mmmm-mmmm, good.

(Um, seriously. Somebody pinch me, dammit. Please tell me this is all a dream, all right? Uh, hello? Hello?!

Aw, bitches.)

Download Clip of 08/16/04 Set —

Cantab Lounge, Cambridge, MA (5 minutes, 57 seconds):

>

(Click photo to enlarge)

MPEG Format — 28MB

RealMedia Format — 9MB

Windows Media Format — 4MB

20040728

Charlie’s Standup Comedy Journal

July 28, 2004: What? The Studio Again? Woo hoo!

Ah, what a birthday will do for you, eh?

I think of this as my ‘birthday show’, seeing as how it happened on the day right after my birthday. And since

I didn’t do a show on my birthday — or even say anything remotely funny, as far as I remember — this is

close enough. It’ll have to do, anyway, at least until next year, when I can schedule a gig on the big day itself.

I’ve really got to start planning these things in advance. I’m kind of a douchebag that way. Moving on.

The other notable thing about this set (from my perspective, at least) is that I finally trotted out some new

jokes, after six weeks away from comedy and the standup equivalent of a clip show a few nights before. Most of the new bits came together in the day or so before the set — and they’re a bit choppy in spots, honestly — but it was nice to be doing new material again. I was starting to have that ‘not so fresh feeling’, if you know what I mean. Icky poo.

Of course, I did manage to go and ruin the most well-received bit by getting cute at the end.

(And by forgetting part of the material, though that wasn’t as big a problem, apparently. I’m finding that

audiences are far more forgiving of the good jokes you don’t tell than of the crappy jokes that you

do. As with most of my life, pulling material together is an exercise in crap reduction. Some nights you get

rid of the crap; some nights the crap gets rid of you. That’s just the way the shitcake crumbles, I guess.)

All in all, though, this set was a lot of fun, and encouraging, too. There’s work to be done, but the bits

that I stole from my grammar lesson post seemed to go over pretty well. See, now, I knew this blogging thing would come in handy some day. That’s synergy, baby!

Download Clip of 07/28/04 Set —

The Comedy Studio, Cambridge, MA (5 minutes, 32 seconds):

(Click photo to enlarge)

>MPEG Format — 28MB

RealMedia Format — 9MB

Windows Media Format — 4MB