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Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA
Charlie’s Standup Comedy Journal
(Warning: If any of you are particularly sensitive to hearing or seeing the ‘C word’, you probably don’t want to go any further here. Check out another clip instead, or read any random post. You see, I’m not afraid to use the ‘C word’, but generally keep it under my hat when it comes to blogging or doing standup. Of course, if you’re now intrigued as to why this show is an exception to the rule… by all means, read on. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.)
In many ways, this was another typical night at the Emerald Isle — an astronomical comic-to-audience-member ratio, good times, comic friends, and an informal feel throughout. In fact, with respect to that first point, there was only one audience member. But she’s what made the night special, too. Let me explain.
You see, the audience-of-one came courtesy of one of the other comics. And she was a laugher. A loud, generous, bordering-on-hysterical laugher. And that’s gold for a comic — like a heroin hit to a junkie, people. In a crowd of a few dozen polite folks, all it takes is one or two true laughers to get them going, and turn an okay show into a great show. In this case, having her there turned a potentially depressing, quiet show into entertainment all around. So that was key.
Ah, but her influence didn’t stop there. Apparently — and I got there late, so I missed it — somewhere near or before the beginning of the show, our favorite crowd member called someone a ‘nasty old cunt’. No one actually present, mind you, and I never heard exactly who she was talking about — a boss, or old teacher, maybe even her grandmother. Who knows? What I do know is that this single act of wanton profanity kicked her up several notches in the eyes of the comics. If we liked her for her laugh, we loved her for her ‘cunt’.
(Yes, that was in quotes. Don’t get any ideas, there, scooter. Ain’t no ‘comic orgies’ going on down in Dorchester. Keep yer pants on.)
Anyway, I tell you that to tell you this — when my turn came to go onstage, I decided to have a little fun. I wasn’t really trying anything new; I was just practicing old bits for an upcoming longer set I’m putting together. So I decided, in honor of our giggly guest, to sprinkle her favorite word into my set. So I littered three ‘cunt’s into my act, just to keep her entertained, and to say thanks.
(And I seem to have succeeded with the ‘entertained’ part. The best reactions I got were on cunt-ified lines. Makes me wonder about a whole new direction for my comedy. Yeah… not really.)
So, that’s the explanation/excuse. If you’re not terribly cunt-shy, the clip is worth a look, just to hear her laugh. And if you’ve read this far, you’ve already seen as many ‘cunt’s as you’d hear on the clip, so you shouldn’t be too shocked.
(And yes, if you’re counting, that’s five, instead of three. Even in my standup, I apparently follow the first rule of essay writing — tell ’em what you’re going to tell ’em, tell ’em, and then tell ’em what you told ’em. So there’s an extra ‘C bomb’ at the beginning and end, in addition to the three ‘official’ ones.)
Anyway, there you go. Not necessarily my proudest moment in comedy, perhaps, but it was a bit of fun. And it shows adaptability, right? I’m not sure I could sculpt my comedy to entertain a room full of nuns, or any shit like that — but this kind of situation? Yeah, this is right up my alley. Nice talk, eh?
Download Clip of 03/02/05 Set —
Emerald Isle, Dorchester, MA (7 minutes, 34 seconds):
(Click photo to enlarge)
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First the good news, folks. This show marked a couple of milestones for me. First, if I’m counting correctly — and there’s no reason to believe that I am — this was my fiftieth time onstage. Fifty! Five-oh. And they said I’d never make it past three. Pfffttt.
Also, I’m pretty sure that this is the furthest I’ve ever travelled to do a show. Marshfield is far! Not ‘jump in a plane and go’ far, or even ‘sit on a bus for hours with a bunch of smelly people’ far, but still — it’s pretty far.
(Besides, I don’t think any of the big smelly people buses go to Marshfield. It’s far, but it’s also sort of out of the way. At least for me.)
The other good news, though, is that Chrissy, who hosts the show, runs a great room, and the place was nice, with a willing and attentive crowd. And on a snowy Monday night on the South Shore, that’s way more than you’d ever expect. So the show was a blast. Thanks to Chrissy — and to Jan, who co-hosted the show! Woo!
And now, of course, the bad news. First, this clip is pretty much audio-only — either the stage wasn’t as well-lit as it seemed at the time, or my camera is choking, or something — but the images came out all shadowy and mysterious. Which is good, if you’re running an Agatha Christie play — or if I’m having sex, perhaps — but not so great for comedy. Not horrible, unless face contortions are your particular bit of schtick — but not optimal.
(Ooh, but the good news within that is, the show was also taped for local access cable. So there’s a shot I can get a better clip of the show, after all. And for you droves of fans living in the Marshfield area, check that show out when it comes on. Check those local listings, baby.)
Anyway, the other bit of bad news is that this is the same old shit I’ve been doing for the past three months or so. So if you’ve seen any clip since… I dunno, November, maybe, then there’s nothing new here for you to grab onto. And if you haven’t seen any clips since then, for god’s sakes, don’t watch this one first! Not that it wasn’t a cool show — it was, and the crowd was great — but you can’t see anything. It’d be like listening to porn — I’m sure it’s exceptionally exciting and all, but there’d just be something missing, you know?
So, there you have it. Comedy on the South Shore on a Monday night. And it was even more fun than that sounds. Not to mention the after-show entertainment — man, when comics get together and chat at an empty bar… hoo boy. Sometimes it’s pretty, sometimes it’s ugly, and sometimes it’s absolutely hilarious — but it’s always entertaining. And I’ll never think of ‘backside’ quite the same way again. Yeep.
Download Clip of 02/21/05 Set —
Backside Tavern, Marshfield, MA (5 minutes, 56 seconds):
(Click photo to enlarge)
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Wednesday nights at the Emerald Isle are interesting beasts.
Lately, we’ve run into a bit of bad luck as actual ‘audiences’ go. As in, there haven’t been any. But in a lot of ways, it’s nice to have an occasional show where there isn’t anybody watching, as strange as that sounds. Sure, we’d all prefer to play to a packed house of loaded-but-not-yet-belligerent fans. But with no audience, there’s also no pressure — with any civilian asses in the seats, you’re tempted to fall back on old, tried and true material. If they’re there, then you want to make them laugh.
And if they’re not there, then you can do whatever the hell you want. It’s just a roomful of comics, telling jokes to each other. You can try out new stuff, tell inside jokes, take off your shirt and wiggle your pasties on stage, even. You see it all at the Isle.
(Editor’s Note: To the best of our knowledge, there have been no pasties wiggled at the Emerald Isle during comedy Wednesdays. Charlie’s either drunk, delusional, or both. Again. But if there ever is a bout of pasty-wiggling onstage, he’d damned well better have the camera rolling. That shit is comedy gold.)
So, there’s no pressure there, which is nice. And lots of comics show up, so it’s a good place to chat with friends, old and new. Of course, that doesn’t much help you, the prospective clip-watcher, but hey — if you watch this set, with the scarcity of giggles and the long, uncomfortable silences, just tell yourself that I was having fun. So at least one of us enjoyed himself during this set. Which is about right, frankly. Maybe next time, it’ll get to be you. Fingers crossed, folks!
Download Clip of 02/16/05 Set —
Emerald Isle, Dorchester, MA (6 minutes, 59 seconds):
(Click photo to enlarge)
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Well, folks, I’ve looked at this clip, and I’m gonna come right out and tell you — it’s virtually unwatchable.
And I’m not saying that because there were just a handful of people at the Comedy Studio that night. I’ve played in front of… well, no one, frankly, and this wasn’t nearly that bad. The folks who were there came to laugh, and even managed to do so a few times while I was up there. They’re good people.
And it’s not because I think this material is too horrible to be seen, or that I have any shame whatsoever in telling ridiculous, goofy stories onstage. You should know me better than that by now. I’ve got no conscience.
No, it’s just that, for some reason, the video quality on this one is right down the proverbial shitter. I’m not sure why — maybe the camera is dying, or just boycotting me, after being put through forty or so of these sets. But for some reason, I kept losing frames, and so the clip looks like a badly spliced schizophrenic mess. Sort of an allegory for my whole life, if you think about it. So don’t. Smartass.
Anyway, I just wanted to warn you. But if you feel you must watch, for some perverse, obsessive reason, then here it is. A few of the jokes are still ungarbled, and it’s the only show I did this week, so what’re you gonna do? I never promised you Hollywood quality, folks. On stage or behind the camera. Meh.
Download Clip of 02/09/05 Set —
Comedy Studio, Cambridge, MA (5 minutes, 50 seconds):
(Click photo to enlarge)
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Ahhhh… this one felt good, folks.
Which is not to say that the show was good, necessarily. There wasn’t a crowd to speak of, though a few jaded old comics were hanging around to watch, and I’m pretty sure one couple in the audience wweren’t comics.
(On the other hand, I’m also fairly certain that they were there to see one rather drunken fellow go onstage.
Friend of theirs, I suspect. He went on last, lost his place a few times, announced his profession — corrections
officer, I believe it was — as though it were a setup for a joke… and then walked offstage. Rather shakily, at that.
Seems he’d downed just a few too many pints of ‘courage’ before going on, you see. Understandable, really — the shows last until the last comic has gone on, last call and decorum and work tomorrow be damned. And he was the last comic, so he’d had a few hours to tie one on. Maybe next week, he’ll be on a little earlier, and we’ll see what he’s got.)
Anyway, it wasn’t the best show ever, for certain. And I don’t think it’s my best material ever,
either. And that’s just my material, you understand, so it’s not saying too much. But dammit, it was
new material, for the first time in a couple of months, and that felt good.
Not that I don’t like my other stuff, mind you. Some of it even gets some good laughs. But I don’t want to be
doing the same crap at every show in a year — or in the spring, for that matter. I like to mix it up, throw a few
new jokes down, jazz things up on in a while. ‘Build the routine’, that sort of thing. So it was good to get some
fresh fodder out there, regardless of whose asses were — or, more accurately, weren’t — in the seats.
So, if you’ve been watching these clips — you poor, tormented soul, you — and you’ve grown tired of the
‘zany interview’ bit and the ‘i before e’ gag, and the ‘college in Kentucky’ sequence, and the ‘Spanish class’ story,
then you’re in luck. This is your first, fresh-and-still-piping-hot look at ‘puzzling pandas’ and the ‘Blue’s Clues rant’.
(Which, if you’re keeping score at home, were adapted from this entry and this entry, respectively.
For that matter, the rest of that shit started here, too — all of it. The
interview thing, the grammar lesson, the
Kentucky higher education bit, and ‘Guillermo’ — all typed here in loving detail before being hacked apart, shortened, rewritten, and reworked for standup. Makes you feel like part of the process, doesn’t it, folks. Breathe it in. Just breathe it in.)
Anyway, have a look, if that’s your particular cup of tea. Or wait and watch the next clip. Because that’s
almost certainly gonna contain the same shit that’s here, and possibly with an audience next time. Or look
now, if you can’t handle the suspense. Boy oh boy, isn’t this exciting? Yeah.
Download Clip of 02/02/05 Set —
Emerald Isle, Dorchester, MA (5 minutes, 0 seconds):
(Click photo to enlarge)
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