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20050221

Charlie’s Standup Comedy Journal

February 21, 2005: Now I Have ‘Backside Experience’

First the good news, folks. This show marked a couple of milestones for me. First, if I’m counting correctly — and there’s no reason to believe that I am — this was my fiftieth time onstage. Fifty! Five-oh. And they said I’d never make it past three. Pfffttt.

Also, I’m pretty sure that this is the furthest I’ve ever travelled to do a show. Marshfield is far! Not ‘jump in a plane and go’ far, or even ‘sit on a bus for hours with a bunch of smelly people’ far, but still — it’s pretty far.

(Besides, I don’t think any of the big smelly people buses go to Marshfield. It’s far, but it’s also sort of out of the way. At least for me.)

The other good news, though, is that Chrissy, who hosts the show, runs a great room, and the place was nice, with a willing and attentive crowd. And on a snowy Monday night on the South Shore, that’s way more than you’d ever expect. So the show was a blast. Thanks to Chrissy — and to Jan, who co-hosted the show! Woo!

And now, of course, the bad news. First, this clip is pretty much audio-only — either the stage wasn’t as well-lit as it seemed at the time, or my camera is choking, or something — but the images came out all shadowy and mysterious. Which is good, if you’re running an Agatha Christie play — or if I’m having sex, perhaps — but not so great for comedy. Not horrible, unless face contortions are your particular bit of schtick — but not optimal.

(Ooh, but the good news within that is, the show was also taped for local access cable. So there’s a shot I can get a better clip of the show, after all. And for you droves of fans living in the Marshfield area, check that show out when it comes on. Check those local listings, baby.)

Anyway, the other bit of bad news is that this is the same old shit I’ve been doing for the past three months or so. So if you’ve seen any clip since… I dunno, November, maybe, then there’s nothing new here for you to grab onto. And if you haven’t seen any clips since then, for god’s sakes, don’t watch this one first! Not that it wasn’t a cool show — it was, and the crowd was great — but you can’t see anything. It’d be like listening to porn — I’m sure it’s exceptionally exciting and all, but there’d just be something missing, you know?

So, there you have it. Comedy on the South Shore on a Monday night. And it was even more fun than that sounds. Not to mention the after-show entertainment — man, when comics get together and chat at an empty bar… hoo boy. Sometimes it’s pretty, sometimes it’s ugly, and sometimes it’s absolutely hilarious — but it’s always entertaining. And I’ll never think of ‘backside’ quite the same way again. Yeep.

Download Clip of 02/21/05 Set —

Backside Tavern, Marshfield, MA (5 minutes, 56 seconds):

(Click photo to enlarge)

MPEG Format — 31MB

RealMedia Format — 10MB

Windows Media Format — 4MB

20050216

Charlie’s Standup Comedy Journal

February 16, 2005: All Comics, All the Time

Wednesday nights at the Emerald Isle are interesting beasts.

Lately, we’ve run into a bit of bad luck as actual ‘audiences’ go. As in, there haven’t been any. But in a lot of ways, it’s nice to have an occasional show where there isn’t anybody watching, as strange as that sounds. Sure, we’d all prefer to play to a packed house of loaded-but-not-yet-belligerent fans. But with no audience, there’s also no pressure — with any civilian asses in the seats, you’re tempted to fall back on old, tried and true material. If they’re there, then you want to make them laugh.

And if they’re not there, then you can do whatever the hell you want. It’s just a roomful of comics, telling jokes to each other. You can try out new stuff, tell inside jokes, take off your shirt and wiggle your pasties on stage, even. You see it all at the Isle.

(Editor’s Note: To the best of our knowledge, there have been no pasties wiggled at the Emerald Isle during comedy Wednesdays. Charlie’s either drunk, delusional, or both. Again. But if there ever is a bout of pasty-wiggling onstage, he’d damned well better have the camera rolling. That shit is comedy gold.)

So, there’s no pressure there, which is nice. And lots of comics show up, so it’s a good place to chat with friends, old and new. Of course, that doesn’t much help you, the prospective clip-watcher, but hey — if you watch this set, with the scarcity of giggles and the long, uncomfortable silences, just tell yourself that I was having fun. So at least one of us enjoyed himself during this set. Which is about right, frankly. Maybe next time, it’ll get to be you. Fingers crossed, folks!

Download Clip of 02/16/05 Set —

Emerald Isle, Dorchester, MA (6 minutes, 59 seconds):

(Click photo to enlarge)

MPEG Format — 37MB

RealMedia Format — 11MB

Windows Media Format — 5MB

20050209

Charlie’s Standup Comedy Journal

February 9, 2005: Quiet Night at the Studio

Well, folks, I’ve looked at this clip, and I’m gonna come right out and tell you — it’s virtually unwatchable.

And I’m not saying that because there were just a handful of people at the Comedy Studio that night. I’ve played in front of… well, no one, frankly, and this wasn’t nearly that bad. The folks who were there came to laugh, and even managed to do so a few times while I was up there. They’re good people.

And it’s not because I think this material is too horrible to be seen, or that I have any shame whatsoever in telling ridiculous, goofy stories onstage. You should know me better than that by now. I’ve got no conscience.

No, it’s just that, for some reason, the video quality on this one is right down the proverbial shitter. I’m not sure why — maybe the camera is dying, or just boycotting me, after being put through forty or so of these sets. But for some reason, I kept losing frames, and so the clip looks like a badly spliced schizophrenic mess. Sort of an allegory for my whole life, if you think about it. So don’t. Smartass.

Anyway, I just wanted to warn you. But if you feel you must watch, for some perverse, obsessive reason, then here it is. A few of the jokes are still ungarbled, and it’s the only show I did this week, so what’re you gonna do? I never promised you Hollywood quality, folks. On stage or behind the camera. Meh.

Download Clip of 02/09/05 Set —

Comedy Studio, Cambridge, MA (5 minutes, 50 seconds):

(Click photo to enlarge)

>MPEG Format — 30MB

RealMedia Format — 8MB

Windows Media Format — 4MB

20050202

Charlie’s Standup Comedy Journal

February 2, 2005: New Shit for the New Year

Ahhhh… this one felt good, folks.

Which is not to say that the show was good, necessarily. There wasn’t a crowd to speak of, though a few jaded old comics were hanging around to watch, and I’m pretty sure one couple in the audience wweren’t comics.

(On the other hand, I’m also fairly certain that they were there to see one rather drunken fellow go onstage.

Friend of theirs, I suspect. He went on last, lost his place a few times, announced his profession — corrections

officer, I believe it was — as though it were a setup for a joke… and then walked offstage. Rather shakily, at that.

Seems he’d downed just a few too many pints of ‘courage’ before going on, you see. Understandable, really — the shows last until the last comic has gone on, last call and decorum and work tomorrow be damned. And he was the last comic, so he’d had a few hours to tie one on. Maybe next week, he’ll be on a little earlier, and we’ll see what he’s got.)

Anyway, it wasn’t the best show ever, for certain. And I don’t think it’s my best material ever,

either. And that’s just my material, you understand, so it’s not saying too much. But dammit, it was

new material, for the first time in a couple of months, and that felt good.

Not that I don’t like my other stuff, mind you. Some of it even gets some good laughs. But I don’t want to be

doing the same crap at every show in a year — or in the spring, for that matter. I like to mix it up, throw a few

new jokes down, jazz things up on in a while. ‘Build the routine’, that sort of thing. So it was good to get some

fresh fodder out there, regardless of whose asses were — or, more accurately, weren’t — in the seats.

So, if you’ve been watching these clips — you poor, tormented soul, you — and you’ve grown tired of the

‘zany interview’ bit and the ‘i before e’ gag, and the ‘college in Kentucky’ sequence, and the ‘Spanish class’ story,

then you’re in luck. This is your first, fresh-and-still-piping-hot look at ‘puzzling pandas’ and the ‘Blue’s Clues rant’.

(Which, if you’re keeping score at home, were adapted from this entry and this entry, respectively.

For that matter, the rest of that shit started here, too — all of it. The

interview thing, the grammar lesson, the

Kentucky higher education bit, and ‘Guillermo’ — all typed here in loving detail before being hacked apart, shortened, rewritten, and reworked for standup. Makes you feel like part of the process, doesn’t it, folks. Breathe it in. Just breathe it in.)

Anyway, have a look, if that’s your particular cup of tea. Or wait and watch the next clip. Because that’s

almost certainly gonna contain the same shit that’s here, and possibly with an audience next time. Or look

now, if you can’t handle the suspense. Boy oh boy, isn’t this exciting? Yeah.

Download Clip of 02/02/05 Set —

Emerald Isle, Dorchester, MA (5 minutes, 0 seconds):

(Click photo to enlarge)

MPEG Format — 26MB

RealMedia Format — 8MB

Windows Media Format — 4MB

20050128

Charlie’s Standup Comedy Journal

January 28, 2005: Studius Impromptus

Well, that was unexpected. Unexpected, but very, very cool.

I moseyed down to the Comedy Studio on Friday night, just as a ‘civilian’. I wasn’t scheduled to perform again for another couple of weeks, but I had some time on my hands and wanted to catch some standup, so I headed over. Just in the nick of time, too — when I arrived the last song on the ‘warm up the crowd’ soundtrack was playing. The show would be starting in just a couple of minutes, so I said ‘hey’ to a couple of people I knew and looked for the waitress to grab a beer.

That’s when Rick, who runs the joint, walked over to the group of people I was standing with and started

pointing. ‘Okay, guys — here we go. You’re number six, you’re on second, and you — you’re on first.‘

Me? First? I just came down for a couple of beers and some fried rice.

(The Studio operates in the attic of a Chinese food restaurant, by the way — the Hong Kong Restaurant in

Harvard Square. Don’t think that there’s some sort of illicit fried rice trading going on in the back rooms of

comedy clubs, or that ‘fried rice’ is some sort of code for anything. Maybe that shit happens, but I wouldn’t know —

I’m not allowed in the back room of anywhere.)

Anyway, Rick took me by surprise, but the rules for an aspiring standup are dead simple: you don’t pass up stage time. And you sure as hell don’t pass up stage time on a Friday night at the Studio, with forty or fifty people packing their asses in the seats. I’m new to this biz, relatively speaking, but I’m not stupid.

So, I worked out what I could fit into five minutes — some of the same bits I’ve been doing for the past few

weeks, so if you’ve seen those, then this probably won’t help you much. Still, what the hell else could I do —

I had something like four minutes to prep for the set. So step off, there, Skippy. Cut me some slack.

Happily, though, I managed to pull something together, and had a blast up there. And maybe I showed a little

something, too — apparently, Rick likes to put new faces on the spot occasionally, to see what will happen, and I

didn’t fold. So that’s something. On the other hand, I never got around to ordering my fried rice. But all in all,

I’d call the night a big fat ‘win’. Thanks, Rick! (And Erin, who hosted the show and gave me a really sweet intro.)

So have a look, if you like. This is also the first — of hopefully many — of my sets pulled off the Studio’s

new digital camera-to-DVD burner hookup. So the file sizes aren’t quite in line with the other clips, and I don’t

have a Windows Media version available (yet, at least). *** UPDATE: Now I do! Woo hoo!

But the production quality is superb. I’m not saying that my filming jobs with my little video camera

were ‘crappy’, mind you — I’m only saying that they’re ‘crappy by comparison’. Just so we’re clear. Look, just watch

the damned thing, okay? Stop making me crazy.

Clip of 01/28/05 Set —

Comedy Studio, Cambridge, MA (4 minutes, 41 seconds):