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Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA
Charlie’s Standup Comedy Journal
(And no, ya sickos — the title is not some sort of reference to what happens during gay ‘Six-Minute Dating’, nor is it the Jeopardy-style answer to the question, ‘Just what exactly does dropping the soap in the prison shower get you, anyway?‘ Be good, dammit.)
Actually, the title refers to the time I spent onstage recently at the lovely and inviting Backside Tavern, down in Marshfield, Mass. It was my second trip there, and a great big bundle of good times. Chrissy, who runs the room, does a great job — and usually brings most of the audience along with her. Also, on this night, my friend Jenn was hosting, and several comedical-type buddies also performed that night.
(And hung around the bar afterward, trading stories and zingers that would make your toe hairs curl. You think comics get raunchy and ridiculous onstage? Try hanging out with a few over a couple of beers. It’s hilarious, but probably hazardous to your health. I’m guessing that hearing any joke that involves ‘fish sperm in a blender’ or the ‘ass-twat’ of another comedian — or, ye gods forbid, both — takes a couple of weeks off your life. Which means I’ll be dead before I’m forty. Suddenly, the trade-off seems not so worth it. Damn.)
Anyway, on this particular night, the Backside crowd was a little sparse, but it was a fun night, nonetheless. Most of the fun happens off-camera, so you’ll just have to take my word for it. Meanwhile, though, I did get to try a couple of new jokes onstage — and they left a few of the lights on this time, so I can actually almost be seen on the tape — so there’s always that to enjoy. Or to curl your toe hairs, depending on exactly how flappable you happen to be. But I swear I don’t say ‘ass-twat’, or mention ‘fish sperm’ or ‘a blender’ during this set. Other sorts of sperm, and non-blendery kitchen appliances… well, I’m not making any promises there. After all, this is comedy, right?
Download Clip of 04/18/05 Set —
Backside Tavern, Marshfield, MA (5 minutes, 52 seconds):
(Click photo to enlarge)
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This was an interesting show. First, because it was my very first ‘solo’ trip to Lowell, Massachusetts. I schlepped up there for a show a few months ago, but I had comedic buddy Daniella along as a copilot. And we still almost got lost. Add to that the fact that I can get turned around getting out of my damned driveway, and I smelled trouble a-brewin’ that night. The seas were angry, and all of that.
As it turned out, though, this place is on the other side of Lowell — who knew it would have sides, anyway? — and much easier to navigate to. I didn’t get lost, even once. So I was sporting a bit of confidence, even before it was time to go onstage.
And afterwards? Well, let me tell you. I don’t know what the folks in the audience had been drinking — or smoking, or shooting into their eyeballs — but they were pumped. Absolutely everything was funny — and not just for me; don’t get me wrong. Every comic went up, and just about every comic killed. I’m not always sure that the crowd was laughing at us — they were all in one big group, and much of the time it seemed they were laughing at each other, or the floor, or invisible pink elephants. But damn if they didn’t make it sound like we were tearing the roof off the place. Eeyore could’ve had them in fricking stitches that night. It was surreal, almost.
The place is pretty cool, too. It’s a little bit of a hike for me, but it’s exactly the kind of place I wish I lived right down the street from — two bars, lots of TVs, apparently good food, and (of course) comedy. It’s not quite enough to make me think about moving to Lowell… but, you know — if that audience is there every night? Well, that’s worth selling the house for, is all I’m saying. Those people were crazy!
Download Clip of 04/12/05 Set —
Evos Arts, Lowell, MA (7 minutes, 6 seconds):
(Click photo to enlarge)
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Ah, the Cantab Lounge. It’s an interesting place — at least, as interesting as an all-black-painted bar basement can get. But the Monday shows (down to one a month these days) always bring in the comics, and there were plenty of friends in attendance on this night.
(And two special shout-outs to my good friends Daniella and Jenn, both hilarious comediennes who made the night extra-special. Daniella, for taping this clip for me, telling her ‘make a fist’ blind date story at the bar, and using a line I offered her about a ‘meat sandwich’ in her set. And Jenn, for our usual sparkling — read: highly disturbing — conversation, and mostly for saying, quite loudly while walking past an innocent civilian on Mass. Ave., ‘Well, what good is a pierced scrotum, really, anyway?‘ Or words to that effect. In fact, if I’m paraphrasing inadvertently, it’s most likely because I’m repressing the phrase that was actually used. No word on the condition of the pedestrian. He’s missing, and presumed badly scarred.)
I also gave a couple of newish lines a try — the Cantab is great for ‘letting ‘er fly’, as it’s usually populated mostly by comics. But there actually was a bit of a crowd on this particular Monday — or, at least a few comics who hadn’t heard all my jokes forty-three times — so it was a lot of fun. I was able to get a few ‘warm fuzzies’ on and off the stage.
Though frankly, the kind of ‘warm’ and ‘fuzzy’ you get from pierced scrota and meat sandwiches… well, let’s just say that’s a cockle-warming that only a comic could love. Good times, people. Good times.
Download Clip of 04/11/05 Set —
Cantab Lounge, Cambridge, MA (6 minutes, 17 seconds):
(Click photo to enlarge)
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Folks, there’s a first for everything — and this was my first Saturday night spot at the Comedy Studio. It also set the high-water mark — or came damned close — for the number of friends and coworkers who came out see little old me perform. So — no pressure, right?
And, in the end, there wasn’t a lot of pressure, really. I went on pretty early in the show — which turned out to be a good thing, because the bachelorette party that you can hear on the clip getting a little too giggly… well, they got a lot too giggly later on. Plus, some guys in the back were asked to leave. So, I was pretty happy to get in and out before things got too rowdy.
As it was, the crowd was a blast. And the tape of the set — on DVD, thanks to Rick at the Studio — looks spectacular. Or at least, it did, before I butchered it six ways to Sunday by converting it into four different formats here.
(And a word to the wise — if anyone watching any of my clips could ever be called ‘wise’ — if you’ve got the bandwidth and the patience, try out the AVI of this show. I could never get the WMV file to convert, and it’s probably the next-best format, in terms of quality. And maybe the MPEG and RM files are okay; I don’t know. All I know is that I converted the original high-quality, razor-sharp DVD clip into one of these formats, and captured a still shot below… and managed to make myself look like I’m made of Legos. And wearing a Hitler moustache. Digital pic wiz, I am not.)
Anyway, check it out, if you get a chance. And know, too, that you’re not quite getting the real experience of a Saturday night at the Studio, without parking your ass in a seat and laughing along with the crowd. Besides the phenomenal other acts, you’re also missing out on the aftershow — mine ended at around 3am in a diner in Watertown, with a couple of friends, a bacon omelette, and some of the best corned beef hash in Boston. And between the end of the show and that moment — well, that was five hours of good times, my friends. You should check it out sometime; you won’t be disappointed.
Clip of 04/09/05 Set —
The Comedy Studio, Cambridge, MA (6 minutes, 44 seconds):
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Charlie’s Standup Comedy Journal
I hadn’t been back to the Comedy Vault for almost a year, so I decided to give it another try. Generally, I’ve been shying away from ‘bringer shows’ — that’s where the comics have to bring audience members with them, in order to get stage time — but this place only asks for two people, and they always have a good crowd on Sunday nights. And how hard could it be to get two people out downtown on a weekend night, right? I even told my wife she wouldn’t have to go this time.
So, I’m at the show — with my wife, who of course did end up having to go, and my comic friend Jenn — and it was pretty much just as I remembered. The comics all huddled in the back, in an actual old bank vault. Hence the name of the place, if you folks were curious. And one by one, we went out, delivered our spiel, and trundled back to the back room to watch the rest of the show. Seems like the sort of thing we do at most shows, but the Vault somehow seems odd to me. Maybe it’s just that I tend to know fewer of the comics there — or maybe it’s that there actually is a back room where we hang out. Most places I play are just bars — so when you’re done, you sit at the bar, or in the back of the room, among the crowd. Maybe I’m just not used to the separation yet — I don’t know.
Anyway, I had a pretty good time there, nonetheless. I caught up with a couple of friends ‘backstage’, and had a decent set. The crowd was maybe a little smaller than usual, thanks to the Red Sox opening day game being played at the bar upstairs that night. Yeah, how’s my timing for revisitng a room, eh? But it was good to get back to a place that I visited early on… and see how nothing much has changed. That’s comforting, in a way. And in others, a little frightening, but let’s not think about that, eh folks? We want to end on an ‘up’ note, after all.
Download Clip of 04/03/05 Set —
The Comedy Vault at Remington’s, Boston, MA (4 minutes, 48 seconds):
(Click photo to enlarge)
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