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Dirty Bird Redux

I wouldn’t want to seem lazy so soon after my return to writing — I figure the honeymoon period on that is at least a week… maybe five days… three? Can I take tomorrow off? We’ll see.

In the meantime, with Thanksgiving looming a mere seven days away, I thought new and returning readers alike might find something of value in a cautionary tale I penned last November:

The Turkey Timeline: A Thanksgiving Day Misadventure

Consider it my public service announcement to you this holiday season. A ‘how NOT to’ guide to gaffing, gutting and grilling a gobbler. A comedic opera penned by Giblets and Silly-man. You get the idea.

And it’s already written, which is a bonus. That leaves me more time to plan for the gustatory festivities in store for this Thanksgiving.

“She still won’t let me near her wishbone, or her ‘dark meat’.”

Which will probably involve ordering Chinese food or something. I don’t think the missus is ready for another turkey terror; she still wakes up in a sweat sometimes, mumbling, ‘gobble… gobble gobble… gobble…‘. She still won’t let me near her wishbone, or her ‘dark meat’. Hell, these days I’d give thanks for a little snood action, maybe some carbuncle petting. Anything.

So maybe we’ll just skip Thanksgiving altogether this year. Which means I’ll have to go a whole week without making a ‘stuffing’ joke.

That’s a tough one. But I’ll give it the old turkey try.