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Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!

And Hey, If You Convert, You Can Marry ‘Em Both!

So, just out of curiosity… has anyone else seen that TV commercial about the Book of Mormon that’s been playing the past few months? If not, here’s a quick (and faith-free) synopsis:

Girl #1 (blonde, very ‘girl next door’) is reading a book in a booth at a diner. We don’t get to see what she’s reading, exactly — ‘The Joy of Sex‘, maybe, or ‘Idolatry for Dummies‘; we’re probably supposed to think it’s something along those lines. Maybe it’s something written by that gay Teletubby; I really can’t speculate.

At any rate, Girl #2 (brunette, perky and hot — like, really hot; I’m talking hot like… like Hanson, when we all thought they were chicks. Remember that? That kind of hot) sits down in the booth and asks how the book is. Girl #1 makes a scrunchy sort of disappointed face, and says it’s not so good. She asks Girl #2 if she’s read anything good lately, and Girl #2 lights up, hands over her Book of Mormon, and starts with the Jerry Falwell routine.

(Or whoever the Mormon version of Jerry Falwell is; I really don’t keep up with such things. Hell, I don’t even know what a ‘tabernacle’ is — or why they apparently need young boys to sing about it. I never said this was going to be about religion, people. You want a spiritual guide, start drinking the peyote. I can’t help you there.)

Anyway, it’s an interesting commercial, I suppose, and maybe it’ll accomplish what they’re looking for and get more people into their little schismed-off club. I don’t know. What I do know, though, is that the only thing I think of when I watch is:

How much cooler would this commercial be if those two kissed at the end?

‘Cause that would be the hottest religion on the planet right there, buckaroos.

(Yeah, yeah — or the grossest, if you’re a straight girl. I know, I know — we did the ‘What’s so great about girls kissing?‘ thing in the comments a few posts ago. Just work with me on this one; I got nothing else to write about right now. I don’t bitch about your ‘recurring themes’, now, do I?)

Anyway, I’m thinking that would bring in a lot more converts, if the commercial went my way. That’s all I’m saying. Hell, throw in a keg or two of beer, and maybe a Snickers bar, and you’d have my attention. You might not drag me into a church, or talk me into any of that ‘tithing’ bullshit — but I’d watch your commercials. That’s for damned sure. And who wouldn’t want me going to their hell, eh? I think it works out well for everyone, frankly.

Permalink  |  5 Comments



5 Responses to “And Hey, If You Convert, You Can Marry ‘Em Both!”

  1. Kate says:

    I’m with you on the girls kissing thing… very hott. And they ought to know that sex sells stuff way better than “enlightenment” or for that matter “good reading material.” Not to knock the Mormon church or anything, I once dated a very nice ex-mormon woman and had super sex, but that’s not the point, wait, what is my point? I don’t know, all I’m saying is if religions focused mroe on what to do rather than what not to do, we’d all probably be a lot happier.

  2. Cassie says:

    um…hold on, straight girls AREN’T supposed to like girls kissing other girls? oh shit…

    side note: a “tabernacle” is something very sacred in the Catholic church, actually, the little case (or cabinet) in which the holy sacrament is kept (wine and bread-blood and body of Christ, yadda yadda yadda)

    To refer to it in Church terms is fine, to say Tabernacle outside of context is like saying “Jesus FUCK!” at Sunday school or “I have worms, you bastards!” during the two minutes of silence at Veteran’s day ceremonies.

    That’s right, ex-Catholic over here, motherfucker! (or perhaps, Tabernacler?)

  3. Cassie says:

    um…hold on, straight girls AREN’T supposed to like girls kissing other girls? oh shit…

    side note: a “tabernacle” is something very sacred in the Catholic church, actually, the little case (or cabinet) in which the holy sacrament is kept (wine and bread-blood and body of Christ, yadda yadda yadda)

    To refer to it in Church terms is fine, to say Tabernacle outside of context is like saying “Jesus FUCK!” at Sunday school or “I have worms, you bastards!” during the two minutes of silence at Veteran’s day ceremonies.

    That’s right, ex-Catholic over here, motherfucker! (or perhaps, Tabernacler?)

  4. Cassie says:

    um, see, that post was sooooo important I had to post it twice, not because I’m so impatient that I pushed the “post” button one too many times or anything like that…heh…

  5. chrsblck says:

    unfortunatly the beer companies have made a strick contract to attract people to sports , the churches cannot due to most sports being on on sunday. conflict of interest, or whathaveja. so the churchies are stuck with wine

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