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Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA



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Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!

100Things

101 Things Posts About Me

In true Where the Hell Was I? fashion, each entry is not only a ‘Thing’ — it’s also an incoherent, rambling blog post. Only the best for this blog, baby! Click ’em all!

Volume 1: The Numbers Game

#1. I currently have one pet, and it’s a pit bull named Susie.

#2. I have had two non-finned pets before Susie.

#3. I am three degrees away from Kevin Bacon. Semi-officially.

#4. In high school, I had a denim jacket with four band names airbrushed on the back.

#5. My wife and I own five computers between us.

#6. I have only needed to get six stitches in my life.

#7. I used my middle name until I was about seven years old.

#8. I have been in eight different major league baseball parks.

#9. I have had nine different positions since college.

#10. My brain wakes up at around ten each morning, regardless of when I get out of bed.

#11. I competed in a regional Spelling Bee when I was eleven years old.

#12. My wife and I have been together for twelve years.

#13. I started dating my wife on Friday the 13th.

#14. My house has fourteen steps between the first and second floors.

#15. I once had to work for fifteen hours on my birthday.

#16. I last played basketball when I was sixteen years old.

#17. When I was seventeen, I DJ’ed for the local college radio station.

#18. I will have been married for 3000 days on the eigteenth of August, 2004.

#19. I won a weekend trip for two to Washington, D.C. when I was nineteen.

#20. I had a long-distance relationship with my wife for twenty months.

#21. My first, and last, interest in politics came when I was twenty-one years old.

#22. I was kicked out of graduate school when I was twenty-two.

#23. I worked for a brain surgeon when I was twenty-three years old.

#24. The only show I’ve religiously watched in the past two years is 24.

#25. I got married when I was twenty-five years old.

#26. I dropped out of graduate school when I was twenty-six.

#27. I have roughly twenty-seven hours of Monty Python material on videotape.

#28. My first girlfriend was twenty-eight years old.

#29. I made a New Year’s Resolution to lose twenty-nine pounds.

#30. I got a surprise trip to Atlanta for my thirtieth birthday.

#31. I walked across the Golden Gate Bridge when I was thirty-one years old.

#32. I was thirty-two the first time I was laid off from a job.

#33. I am thirty-three years (and one day) old.

Chapter II: Talents, Accomplishments and Snarky Opinions

#34. I’m a pretty good juggler.

#35. I once road-tripped from Richmond, VA to Hilton Head, SC, overnight.

#36. I’ve been skydiving. Twice!

#37. I’ve been the Chief Technical Officer of a company.

#38. I am the pickiest beer snob I know.

#39. In high school, I won awards for emulating Bill Cosby.

#40. I have three jokes that I can drag out for at least an hour apiece.

#41. I’m a green belt (retired) in Tae Kwon Do.

#42. I have read — and reread — all five books in the Hitchhikers’ Guide trilogy.

#43. I once went whitewater rafting.

#44. I’ve been to the top of the Empire State Building and the Eiffel Tower.

#45. I’ve written two science fiction short stories.

#46. Wendy’s has the best French fries. Sorry, McDonald’s fans.

#47. I can work the three-star puzzles in Games magazine. Sometimes, anyway.

#48. I finished Half Life, Max Payne, and Red Faction.

#49. I’ve seen three operas performed at ‘The Met’ in New York City.

#50. I was a Features Editor for my college newspaper.

#51. I have won four fantasy sports championships.

#52. I’ve never watched the movie E.T.

#53. I learned at least one thing from every class in college.

#54. I think that what is art should be art, and what is not, should not.

#55. My high school yearbook quote was a Husker Du song lyric.

#56. I broke my nose playing softball.

#57. There exists no food that could not benefit from the addition of hot sauce.

#58. I still have my Amiga computer, but I finally gave up my Commodore 64.

#59. I can ‘go the other way’ in softball.

#60. I never lost a game of ‘Mercy’.

#61. I’m very competitive, and take challenges — especially from inanimate objects — personally.

#62. I have walked through the underground catacombs of Paris.

#63. I have angled for catfish in the Louisiana bayou.

#64. I do not have children, and cannot fathom ever, ever wanting that to change.

#65. I once peed on the exact geographical center of the state of Kentucky.

#66. I make a mean tuna casserole.

#67. The first wedding I ever attended was my own.

Book Three: Miscellaneous Crap, and Other Dubious Factoids

#68. I once had the perfect phone number.

#69. My honeymoon was in Ocho Rios, Jamaica.

#70. I’m a huge fan of Syracuse University sports, for no logical reason whatsoever.

#71. I am hard to impress, but easy to please.

#72. I would much rather be too cold than too hot.

#73. I read in waves, mostly science fact and science fiction.

#74. My college mascot was the ‘Praying Colonel’.

#75. I obsess over certain tasks, and sometimes make things harder than they should be.

#76. I chew my nails when I have to do something that I’d rather avoid.

#77. My nickname in high school and college was ‘Foz’.

#78. I always believed that people were essentially good. Until kindergarten, that is.

#79. I have never been to a funeral, nor seen a dead person.

#80. I have, however, seen several severed limbs and internal organs.

#81. I joined a fraternity in college.

#82. I never took any computer or typing classes in school. So, naturally, now I’m a software engineer.

#83. I’m not impressed by presentation, window dressing, or personal titles.

#84. My parents divorced when I was very young, then remarried. To each other!

#85. I’ve been placed under anesthesia exactly once. I had seven teeth removed.

#86. I was the first grandchild on my mother’s side of the family.

#87. My Myers-Briggs personality type is INTP.

#88. The worst physical pain I’ve ever endured was dislocating my shoulder. Twice.

#89. My favorite meal is the Dinner of Champions.

#90. I was one of ESPN’s 3Play contest winners.

#91. I am an only child. (Explains a lot, doesn’t it?)

#92. I generally lump magic, God, and the Powerball lottery together, and eye the lump warily.

#93. I’m allergic to cats and rabbits, and probably certain other furry critters.

#94. I wear boxers, but I do have an emergency pair of briefs.

#95. I do all of my agonizing before decisions, not after.

#96. I once had strep throat and mono at the same time.

#97. My parents have had as many homes since I left for college as I’ve had.

#98. The worst movie I ever paid to see was ‘Nothing But Trouble’.

#99. I have a soft spot for cows.

#100. I have a small chunk of pencil lead embedded in my right knee.

Addendum D: And One to Grow On

#101. I have absolutely, positively zero regrets.

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Highlights
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Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

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Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

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Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

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