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Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA



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Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!

Headshots

The Thirty-Three Faces of Me

A while back, I made an appointment to sit for headshots. The old standup comedy career was going nowhere, so that had to be the problem, right? No professional headshots to give out. That must be it.

(News flash: That wasn’t it. Go figure.)

I chose a pic to use out of the dozens sent back by the photographer. But why let all those rejected portraits go to waste? No booker or club owner will ever see them, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a chuckle at my expense.

Or, to be exact, thirty-three chuckles. At thirty-three Charlies, not including the ghoulishly grinning me you passed by at the top of the page. I’ve taken the liberty of captioning each photo — mostly so you won’t feel tempted; I’m far more gentle and tactful with such things than you, you know. Still, if you just can’t resist a potshot at one of my puckery pusses, feel free to leave me a comment. If you make me giggle, I’ll add it permanently to the page.

But be kind. That’s my face we’re talking about here. I’m stuck with the thing for life; the photographer only had to deal with it for an afternoon. And still, he broke three cameras. Meh.


33 Faces of Charlie: #1

#1: Such a
nice boy!

33 Faces of Charlie: #2

#2: Yeeeeesss?

33 Faces of Charlie: #3

#3: Well gawrsh,
Sgt. Carter!


33 Faces of Charlie: #4

#4: I tried to
tell ya, mister!

33 Faces of Charlie: #5

#5: You are
getting very
sleeeepy

33 Faces of Charlie: #6

#6: I’ve got
boobies!


33 Faces of Charlie: #7

#7: You ch-ch-
chooooose me?

33 Faces of Charlie: #8

#8: SUPPLIES!!

33 Faces of Charlie: #9

#9: What’d you
just call me,
bitch?


33 Faces of Charlie: #10

#10: Poker? I
barely even
KNOW her!

33 Faces of Charlie: #11

#11: I am so
sitting on
my testicles.

33 Faces of Charlie: #12

#12: Don’t make
me come
over there.


33 Faces of Charlie: #13

#13: “I know
you didn’t
just fart.”

33 Faces of Charlie: #14

#14: “I’m a
little teapot!”

33 Faces of Charlie: #15

#15: Hey, bebby.
What’s your sign?


33 Faces of Charlie: #16

#16: Those…
aren’t…
PILLOWS!!!

33 Faces of Charlie: #17

#17: “Takin’
pitchers
is FUN!”

33 Faces of Charlie: #18

#18: These X-ray
contact lenses
are great!


33 Faces of Charlie: #19

#19: Ohhhhh,
you!

33 Faces of Charlie: #20

#20: Do these
stripes make
me look fat?

33 Faces of Charlie: #21

#21: Is that beer?
I smell beer!


33 Faces of Charlie: #22

#22: Who’s a
cheeky
little monkey?

33 Faces of Charlie: #23

#23: You and me.
Copier room.
Ten minutes?

33 Faces of Charlie: #24

#24: Ruh-row,
Raggy!!


33 Faces of Charlie: #25

#25: “There’s no
film in the
what, now?”

33 Faces of Charlie: #26

#26: What’re you,
retahded?

33 Faces of Charlie: #27

#27: I’m all
mysterious
and shit!


33 Faces of Charlie: #28

#28: “You know,
I’ve got candy
in my van.”

33 Faces of Charlie: #29

#29: I vant
to suck
your blood!

33 Faces of Charlie: #30

#30: Dude, you’re
creeping
me out.


33 Faces of Charlie: #31

#31: What’d I
tell you
about that shit?

33 Faces of Charlie: #32

#32: “You’re on
thin ice,
mister!”

33 Faces of Charlie: #33

#33: “I’ve got a
whole BAG
of ‘shush’ here.”


Permalink  |  5 Comments



5 Responses to “Headshots”

  1. Monkey says:

    Rrrrraowr!

  2. kerry says:

    you look a little like joe piscapoe in some of those shots. specifically #’s 2,3,7,9,12,15,20,24,30

    you’re comments underneath were hilarious, i don’t see how you could improve on them!

  3. kerry says:

    *snarfle* i spelled his name wrong.

    aw, who cares.

  4. shelley says:

    The ONLY caption that doesn’t fit perfectly with its photo is the boobies one. My suggestion:

    “My eyes are up here, buddy.”

    Otherwise, this collection is priceless. (In the good way.)

  5. Roofie Raccoon says:

    I liked the boobies one because it was damn random. REALLY random. Made no sense at all but you’re grinning like maybe you DO have a pair just barely off camera.

    When I saw the “Is that beer” picture I thought “Snausages!!”

    These are funny pictures.

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