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Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA



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Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!

Safety First!

The first thing my mother said when I told her I was leaving for vacation was, ‘Be careful!‘ Mom’s always been a cautious lass; she’d make former U.S. Surgeon General C. Everett Koop proud with her finger-waggling health warnings.

Still, she means well — and so, in her honor, I present a trio of health-related lists that old C. Everett apparently never got around to. You’ll also find these hiding out on Charlie’s Big List of Lists. Just don’t trip on anything on your way over to see. And put on a sweater; it’s cold outside. And– hey! Get that thing out of your mouth; you don’t know where it’s been!

Man, I’m starting to see where mom gets it now. Sheesh.


Products That May Cause Dangerous Longer-Than-Four-Hour Erections

Viagra

Cialis

A Ferrari Testarossa

Eva Longoria

Chili cheese fries

A Three Stooges marathon

Anything with a Hemi

A three-pointer at the buzzer to win

Eva Longoria, again

Las Vegas

More Realistic Exercise Alternatives to Thirty Minutes of Jogging for the Average American

Sixty minutes of vigorously kissing boss ass

Ninety minutes of swearing at commuter traffic

Three hours of ‘beer pong’

Four hours of playoff Madden on XBox

Six hours of complaining about the weather

Nine hours of sweating over a PowerPoint presentation

Fourteen hours of watching ‘Seinfeld‘ reruns

A lifetime of quiet flabby desperation

Foods With Less Nutritional Value Than the Chicken McNugget

Twinkies

Gummi worms

Chee-tos

Sandpaper

Rock salt

Packing peanuts

The KrustyBurger Rib-Wich

Rat poison

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HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Highlights
Me on Film 'n' Stage:
  Drinkstorm Studios


Me on Science (silly):
  Secondhand SCIENCE


Me on Science (real):
  Meta Science News


Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon


Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Features
Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

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List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Cliche-O-Matic
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

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Banterist
...Bleeding Obvious
By Ken Levine
Defective Yeti
DeJENNerate
Divorced Dad of Two
Gallivanting Monkey
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Life... Weirder
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Scott's Tip of the Day
Something Authorly
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