Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Bookmark
 FeedBurnerEmailTwitterFacebookAmazon
Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA



All Quotes
HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail

  |  

Howdy, friendly reading person!
I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!
If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!

Talkin’ ‘Bout Tapas

Tonight, the missus and I went out with some friends for tapas. We’ve tried a few of Boston’s tapas restaurants over the past few years, and I’ve discovered that the only thing I enjoy more than eating tapas at a tapas joint is saying tapas at every possible opportunity throughout the evening.

“It’s not straightforward, for instance, to split a pizza or samosa into three hundred teeny pieces. And you can’t charge nine dollars for three tater tots and a glob of Hunt’s ketchup. So Spanish food it is.”

(It’s not my fault. It’s just that I took Spanish in high school and tapas is one of the few words you can say en Espanol without having to make that ‘*hhhwyuh*‘ sound for a ‘j’, or the motorboat rolling ‘r’ noise. I don’t like to work too hard with my foreign verbiage.

In conclusion: tapas!)

If you’re not familiar with the concept of tapas, it’s really quite simple. It’s the restaurant’s job to offer thirty or forty kinds of tiny little dishes, and give them names that are largely unpronouncable for anyone born north of Juarez.

(Yes, I said *Hhhwyuh*uarez. You heard me.)

The restaurant then sprinkles a few crumbs of each dish onto a plate, and charges about half an entree’s price for each. It’s the customer’s job to order enough dishes to clog the table full, eat those, and order another round. Then it’s ‘order, chow, repeat’ until satisfied.

An accompished tapas patron can drag the process out for well over three hours, and a couple of hundred bucks. But a real tapas expert can walk in hungry for lunch, and emerge after dinner with a full stomach and a second mortgage.

I used to wonder why the tapas concept seems to be limited mostly to Spanish food. Gradually, I realized that many other styles of cuisine don’t lend themselves easily to the model. It’s not straightforward, for instance, to split a pizza or samosa into three hundred teeny pieces. And you can’t charge nine dollars for three tater tots and a glob of Hunt’s ketchup. So Spanish food it is.

The tapas place tonight was a good time. Our dishes were tasty and plentiful, and the glasses of sangria weren’t nearly as small as the portions of food. The ladies in our party even split an order of churrrr-urrr-urrr-urrr-os for dessert, and reported favorably thereon.

The only odd event of the evening had to do with the parking situation. I arrived first, alone and early, and staked out a spot a couple of blocks past the restaurant. After a quick walk around the area, I decided it might be just a bit shadier a place than I’d prefer to leave the car. And I’m not talking about it having too many elm trees, either.

So, I moved the car to a marginally closer spot. My trip from and back to the car was entirely unaccosted, mind you — I just felt the new parking spot was in a somewhat safer, more respectable, and overall classier area. Call it a hunch.

As soon as I’d reparked and stepped out of the car, a man walked up to me, pulled a watch out of his jacket, and said:

Yo man, you wanna buy a Rolex? Stupid cheap, bro.

I got back in my car, moved it to the old spot, and made a note that my hunches are just frigging stupid.

My hunches are little stunted tapas of actual ideas, and this one almost cost me forty bucks for a broken ‘Bolex’ or ‘Polex’ or ‘Casio Time-A-Lot’ or whatever the hell it actually was. All I know is it wasn’t genuine, because I know I didn’t hear my man say, ‘Rrrr-urrr-urrr-rrr-olex‘. You an’t foot this gringo.

Permalink  |  1 Comment



One Response to “Talkin’ ‘Bout Tapas”

  1. Roofie Raccoon says:

    Oh, it’s like the Mexican version of sushi! Neat!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Highlights
Me on Film 'n' Stage:
  Drinkstorm Studios


Me on Science (silly):
  Secondhand SCIENCE


Me on Science (real):
  Meta Science News


Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon


Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Features
Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Cliche-O-Matic
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

Favorites
Banterist
...Bleeding Obvious
By Ken Levine
Defective Yeti
DeJENNerate
Divorced Dad of Two
Gallivanting Monkey
Junk Drawer
Life... Weirder
Little. Red. Boat.
Mighty Geek
Mitchieville
PCPPP
Scaryduck
Scott's Tip of the Day
Something Authorly
TGNP
Unlikely Explanations

Archives
Full Archive

Category Archives:

(Stupid) Computers
100Things
A Doofus Is Me
Articles 'n' Zines
Audience Participation
Awkward Conversations
Bits About Blogging
Bitter Old Man Rants
Blasts from My Past
Cars 'n' Drivers
Dog Drivel
Eek!Cards
Foodstuff Fluff
Fun with Words!
Googlicious!
Grooming Gaffes
Just Life
Loopy Lists
Making Fun of Jerks
Marketing Weenies
Married and a Moron
Miscellaneous Nonsense
Potty Talk / Yes, I'm a Pig
Sleep, and Lack Thereof
Standup
Tales from the Stage
Tasty Beverages
The Happy Homeowner
TV & Movies & Games, O My!
Uncategorized
Vacations 'n' Holidays
Weird for the Sake of Weird
Whither the Weather
Wicked Pissah Bahstan
Wide World o' Sports
Work, Work, Work
Zug

Heroes
Alas Smith and Jones
Berkeley Breathed
Bill Hicks
Dave Barry
Dexter's Laboratory
Douglas Adams
Evening at the Improv
Fawlty Towers
George Alec Effinger
Grover
Jake Johannsen
Married... With Children
Monty Python
Nick Bakay
Peter King
Ren and Stimpy
Rob Neyer
Sluggy Freelance
The Simpsons
The State

Plugs, Shameless
100 Best Humor Blogs | Healthy Moms Magazine

Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass

TopOfBlogs

HumorSource

Blogging Fusion Blog Directory

bloglovin

Top Blogs

 

Feeds and More
Subscribe via FeedBurner

[Subscribe]

RDF
RSS 2.0
Atom
Credits
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:
MovableType

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Mint Installation

Performancing Metrics

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS!

© 2003-15 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved