Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Bookmark
 
Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA



All Quotes
Site Search:
HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail

Zolton's Facebook Pranks on Mail Order Catalog Companies

I originally wrote this piece for MediaShower.com, for use on the late, great comedy site ZuG.com. Text and images published here with permission.

'Tis the holiday season, which means spending quality time with family. Where "quality time", apparently, means trading presents with a bunch of red-sweatered weirdos you only see once a year, because your great-great-aunt once got busy with their grandfather's cousin twice removed, and now you're related.

Of course, you don't want to go out shopping for these gifts; who has the time for that? You save your quality mall-walking energy on the people who are really important to you -- significant others, siblings, parents, kids, dogwalkers, bartenders and the cute coed across the street who never closes the curtains.

Extended family? Schmextended schmamily.

Those people get the unwanted ugly orphans of Christmas presents: useless crap from mail order catalogs. Hey, if you wanted thought put into your gift, you should've been my sister. Tough genetics, Ginny Sue.

During my annual schlock-shopping spree this week, I found I had some questions about the gaudy sweatshop-produced doodads I was buying for my loved ones. Luckily, the big mail order companies are all on Facebook now. Ho-ho-how convenient.

Read on for my mail order queries -- and my actual posts on the companies' Facebook walls. Maybe you'll find a present for Cousin Clete or your Great Aunt Petunia's kid with the lazy eye whose name you can never remember.

Or maybe it'll inspire you to fake a bout of the bubonic plague and stay at home for the holidays. Then you can rummage through the catalogs, and buy a bunch of kitschy junk for yourself. Isn't that what the holidays are all about, really?

Harry and David

The post (and the product):

SkyMall

The post (and the product):

Lillian Vernon

The post (and the product):

Hammacher Schlemmer

The post (and the product):

Last week, Zolton worked up a sweat with UnderArmour, Champion, Russell and Speedo. Want to join in the prank? Click the links to see each real-life Facebook post, and comment or 'Like' them to generate more buzz. Or visit Zolton's own Facebook page!



Post a comment

HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Highlights
Me on Science:
  Secondhand SCIENCE


Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon


Me on Baseball:
  Bugs & Cranks


Me on Apartments:
  Author Page


Three Wee Tweets:
Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Features
Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Cliche-O-Matic
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

Archives
Full Archive

Archive by Date

Archive by Category


Plugs, Shameless
Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass

TopOfBlogs

HumorSource

Blogging Fusion Blog Directory

bloglovin

Listed on BlogShares

Top Blogs

 

Heroes
Alas Smith and Jones
Berkeley Breathed
Bill Hicks
Dave Barry
Dexter's Laboratory
Douglas Adams
Evening at the Improv
Fawlty Towers
George Alec Effinger
Grover
Jake Johannsen
Married... With Children
Monty Python
Nick Bakay
Peter King
Ren and Stimpy
Rob Neyer
Sluggy Freelance
The Simpsons
The State

Feeds and More
Subscribe via FeedBurner

[Subscribe]

RDF
RSS 2.0
Atom
Credits
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:
MovableType

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Mint Installation

Performancing Metrics

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS!

© 2003-15 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved