Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA

All Quotes
Site Search:

« How the Hell Do You Seque from 'Air Conditioners' to That?! | Main | Maybe I Should Call This Blog the 'Peepee Home Companion' »

Now, That's a 'Web Gem', Linda!

Having TiVo is weird sometimes.

I was watching TV this morning, while reading email on the couch. It's kind of a routine for me -- basically, I'm practicing for my next unemployed stint. I figure that's where I'll spend ninety percent of my time, so I'd better get used to it now. I'm even working on building up my collection of burrito-stained wifebeaters to wear. It's gonna rawk. Really.

Anyway, that's not the point. Here's the point -- I was watching TV earlier. Then, I went upstairs to take a shower. When I went up, I left the TV on ESPN. SportsCenter was on, and would be for the next four hours.

(If you're not familiar with the phenomenon, SportsCenter comes on at, like, six or seven in the morning, some ridiculous shit like that. It's an hour-long show, but there really aren't any sporting tidbits to speak of that happen before one or two in the afternoon, so they just loop the show over and over, all the way through lunch.

For us sports fans, it's an oddly comforting -- if repetitive -- way to start the day. Plus, you can tell time by how many times you've seen the same highlight. It's cool.)

So, when I left to wash up, it was Linda Cohn and Stuart Scott trading highlights and witticisms. Business as usual.

Well, you can imagine my surprise when I came walking down the stairs after my shower, and heard a guy barking:

'That's it! Lift that leg, right over your head! And two! And three! Sweat it out! Feel that buuuuuuurn!'

Um... Stu? Is that you, dog?

It took me a while to figure out that the TiVo had pulled a little switcheroo while I was lathering up, and flipped over to some aerobics show that my wife wants taped.

(Well, she programmed the things in there, anyway. Of course, I don't mind having them taped. Nothing like a little soft-core porn on the 'Now Showing' list, eh, gents?)

Anyway, it took me a few seconds to figure out what had happened. And it's going to take a while -- longer than a few minutes, apparently -- to get the image of Linda Cohn in her sportscasting suit, gyrating and flailing on the floor of the SportsCenter set. I don't even know whether I'm turned on or disturbed -- I just can't shake the picture.

Hey, at least now they know something to try during the fall sweeps, eh? Feel the burn! Booyah!

Permalink | Comments (1)


I think you may have found the next reality show ... b-list celebrity yoga ...

Post a comment

HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Me on Science:
  Secondhand SCIENCE

Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon

Me on Baseball:
  Bugs & Cranks

Me on Apartments:
  Author Page

Three Wee Tweets:
Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

...Bleeding Obvious
By Ken Levine
Defective Yeti
Divorced Dad of Two
Gallivanting Monkey
Junk Drawer
Life... Weirder
Little. Red. Boat.
Mighty Geek
Scott's Tip of the Day
Something Authorly
Unlikely Explanations

Full Archive

Category Archives:

(Stupid) Computers (70)
A Doofus Is Me (203)
Articles 'n' Zines (74)
Audience Participation (35)
Awkward Conversations (176)
Bits About Blogging (168)
Bitter Old Man Rants (50)
Blasts from My Past (78)
Cars 'n' Drivers (60)
Dog Drivel (78)
Eek!Cards (267)
Foodstuff Fluff (116)
Fun with Words! (71)
Googlicious! (27)
Grooming Gaffes (88)
Just Life (238)
Loopy Lists (33)
Making Fun of Jerks (59)
Marketing Weenies (66)
Married and a Moron (185)
Miscellaneous Nonsense (62)
Potty Talk / Yes, I'm a Pig (84)
Sleep, and Lack Thereof (34)
TV & Movies & Games, O My! (101)
Tales from the Stage (74)
Tasty Beverages (29)
The Happy Homeowner (81)
Vacations 'n' Holidays (134)
Weird for the Sake of Weird (71)
Whither the Weather (40)
Wicked Pissah Bahstan (49)
Wide World o' Sports (124)
Work, Work, Work (206)

Alas Smith and Jones
Berkeley Breathed
Bill Hicks
Dave Barry
Dexter's Laboratory
Douglas Adams
Evening at the Improv
Fawlty Towers
George Alec Effinger
Jake Johannsen
Married... With Children
Monty Python
Nick Bakay
Peter King
Ren and Stimpy
Rob Neyer
Sluggy Freelance
The Simpsons
The State

Plugs, Shameless
Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass



Blogging Fusion Blog Directory


Listed on BlogShares

Top Blogs


Feeds and More
Subscribe via FeedBurner


RSS 2.0
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Mint Installation

Performancing Metrics

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS!

© 2003-15 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved