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Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA
« Has It Been Four Years Already? | Main | Maybe It's the Cologne I Was Wearing? »
So, can someone out there help my wife and I settle a 'disagreement' we're having?
The question is this: is it 'weird' -- or 'loopy', or 'just plain damned wrong'; all words that have been bandied about -- to weigh yourself before and after using the bathroom in the morning, in an innocent scientific effort to determine how much poop weighs? Do you see a problem with that?
Now, of course, in the interest of impartiality, I won't divulge which of us comes down on which side of the argument. But I'm sure you've already made a guess, haven't you? Smartass.
You always did like her better. *sniff*
OK, this has so definitely got to be a guy thing. Like my response to the sentence (fragment, to be sure) "8.5 inches" -
"How do you KNOW?"
"I measured"
..."uh.. WHY?!?!"
"Why not?"
Yes, Viginia. There are things that need measuring (length or weight) just because they exist to be measured.
But, honestly?
WHY?!?!
As someone with three brothers, I'm not going to take sides on the poop-weighing issue, but I am not surprised by it. You boys, I tell you.
(And Charlie? You might be amused to know that my workplace blocks your site under the reason code of, I quote, "Tasteless." And that was BEFORE the post about weighing poop! How does it feel to be censored? *grin*)
Definitely not as bad as getting called into the bathroom to inspect, "... look how long this is" ... uh no thanks!
Um, yeah, that's loopy. A shit can't weigh more than a pound or so though, right? I'd think you'd have to lay a damn big log to see any difference in readings before and after.
Speaking as a woman, I don't know any females who weigh themselves BEFORE dumping the er...excess baggage. You'd be suprised at the result. Decision: practical for self esteem purposes.
Ok, let's take this one step further. Let's weigh right after we consume a meal, weigh just before the proverbial dump and then again right after. What goes in must come out???? or is that what goes down must go down even further??? or what goes down must come up (bulimia pun intended...)
1. stick the scale in the bathroom
2. close the door when doing your business in there
3. no one has to know
4. eew. just.... eew. :P
God, I am a moron. That is a MUCH neater (albeit more indirect) method of poop measurement than the one I've used.
And I bet you didn't have to throw out your scale either.
you should have a fancy digital scale for this experiment, one the carries the weight to several decimal points or something, as i'm thinking you will find it only ways a few ounces.
the digitial scale is by far the most accurate method. wrap the top of the bowl with plastic wrap (or newspaper).... catch the pooh and weigh your whopper!
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I go with a combination of loopy and scientific curiosity.
And I'm sticking to that story.