Charlie Hatton About This
About Me
Email Me

Charlie Hatton
Brookline, MA

All Quotes
Site Search:

« Sometimes a Rat Race Is Better Than No Race at All | Main | This Is the Dawning of the Age of Pigskin and Pork Rinds »

Looks Like Somebody Out There Is 'Beer Googling' Again

Out of the frying pan, and into the blog.

I hate to devote a post entirely to searches that have led people to this site.

But frankly, I hated to do it when I wrote this post, too, and it didn't stop me then. What in our history together would make you think I've suddenly sprouted a conscience?

So, away we go. Before I get to the list of recent odd, frightening, and downright freaky searches that have accidentally funneled various perverts and morons to my door, I want to mention one set of search terms that's particularly vexing.

"What in our history together would make you think I've suddenly sprouted a conscience?"

At approximately a quarter after two this afternoon, someone clicked through to my site. Into the archives, and specifically to this page. The search that led him or her to me?

Now, I ask you this: should I be offended somehow that this is how people find my site? Or surprised in the slightest that my blog was the only site returned by Google for this search?

(I tried it myself.)

Or should I be pleased to have a new reader, and one who spent several minutes on the site, (presumably) merrily reading along? Or disappointed that this person apparently found the 'random asanine idiocy' he or she was looking for, and that my writing was it? Or finally, should I just be goddamned embarrassed, because -- at least once -- I managed to misspell 'asinine'?

Really, when I say I have mixed feelings about this, I'm not yankin' your chain. I have no earthly idea what to think or feel right now. Color me nonplussed.

Okay. Now, on to the rest of the goodies -- as before, I'll post the search terms, and then do the very bestest I can to help out whoever used them to get here. You know, in case they come back. I'm all about the help. So here we go:

Well, that takes care of the bulk of 'em, anyway. There's still a few people lookin' for naked pics of that Pam Anderson cartoon, but those requests have slowed to a moderate gush. As for the rest of you Googlers out there, I hope this has helped. Now when you try your search again, you'll at least get some advice. Not the 'disfigurement pics' or 'olsen nip slip pics' you were looking for, but at least it's something.

And if you're looking for more than that, I'm afraid you're out of luck. I seriously doubt I'll post any 'Gary Busey mug shot' photos, or info that's going to help you with your 'itchy bottom' or 'shih zu (sic) nose'. You'll just have to look elsewhere. And I'm damned sure not gonna help you with your 'testicle self mutilation'. Fuckin' a, man. What the hell have you been smoking?

Permalink | Comments (1)


after all that i think i know why i don't live on the west coast. too many people trying out too many personalities or selling something. can we get back to the soup, etc. i was enjoying the recipes.

Post a comment

HomeAboutArchiveBestShopEmail © 2003-15 Charlie Hatton All Rights Reserved
Me on Science:
  Secondhand SCIENCE

Me on ZuG (RIP):
  Zolton's FB Pranks
  Zolton Does Amazon

Me on Baseball:
  Bugs & Cranks

Me on Apartments:
  Author Page

Three Wee Tweets:
Favorite Posts:
30 Facts: Alton Brown
A Commute Dreary
A Hallmark Moment
Blue's Clues Explained
Eight Your 5-Hole?
El Classo de Espanol
Good News for Goofballs
Grammar, Charlie-Style
Grammar, Revisitated
How I Feel About Hippos
How I Feel About Pinatas
How I Feel About Pirates
Life Is Like...
Life Is Also Like...
Smartass 101
Twelve Simple Rules
Unreal Reality Shows
V-Day for Dummies
Wheel of Misfortune
Zolton, Interview Demon

Me, Elsewhere

Standup Comedy Clips

Selected Clips:
  09/10/05: Com. Studio
  04/30/05: Goodfellaz
  04/09/05: Com. Studio
  01/28/05: Com. Studio
  12/11/04: Emerald Isle
  09/06/04: Connection

Boston Comedy Clubs

 My 100 Things Posts

Selected Things:
  #6: My Stitches
  #7: My Name
  #11: My Spelling Bee
  #35: My Spring Break
  #36: My Skydives
  #53: My Memory
  #55: My Quote
  #78: My Pencil
  #91: My Family
  #100: My Poor Knee

More Features:

List of Lists
33 Faces of Me
Punchline Fever
Simpsons Quotes
Quantum Terminology

...Bleeding Obvious
By Ken Levine
Defective Yeti
Divorced Dad of Two
Gallivanting Monkey
Junk Drawer
Life... Weirder
Little. Red. Boat.
Mighty Geek
Scott's Tip of the Day
Something Authorly
Unlikely Explanations

Full Archive

Category Archives:

(Stupid) Computers (70)
A Doofus Is Me (203)
Articles 'n' Zines (74)
Audience Participation (35)
Awkward Conversations (176)
Bits About Blogging (168)
Bitter Old Man Rants (50)
Blasts from My Past (78)
Cars 'n' Drivers (60)
Dog Drivel (78)
Eek!Cards (267)
Foodstuff Fluff (116)
Fun with Words! (71)
Googlicious! (27)
Grooming Gaffes (88)
Just Life (238)
Loopy Lists (33)
Making Fun of Jerks (59)
Marketing Weenies (66)
Married and a Moron (185)
Miscellaneous Nonsense (62)
Potty Talk / Yes, I'm a Pig (84)
Sleep, and Lack Thereof (34)
TV & Movies & Games, O My! (101)
Tales from the Stage (74)
Tasty Beverages (29)
The Happy Homeowner (81)
Vacations 'n' Holidays (134)
Weird for the Sake of Weird (71)
Whither the Weather (40)
Wicked Pissah Bahstan (49)
Wide World o' Sports (124)
Work, Work, Work (206)

Alas Smith and Jones
Berkeley Breathed
Bill Hicks
Dave Barry
Dexter's Laboratory
Douglas Adams
Evening at the Improv
Fawlty Towers
George Alec Effinger
Jake Johannsen
Married... With Children
Monty Python
Nick Bakay
Peter King
Ren and Stimpy
Rob Neyer
Sluggy Freelance
The Simpsons
The State

Plugs, Shameless
Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass



Blogging Fusion Blog Directory


Listed on BlogShares

Top Blogs


Feeds and More
Subscribe via FeedBurner


RSS 2.0
Site Hosting:
Solid Solutions

Powered by:

Title Banner Photo:
Shirley Harshenin

Creative Commons License
  This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License

Mint Installation

Performancing Metrics

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Valid XHTML 1.0

Valid CSS!

© 2003-15 Charlie Hatton
All Rights Reserved