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State of the Blog: 2013

It's one day short of the end of April, and there are milestones aplenty on the horizon for this site. I thought I'd take a quick moment tonight to mention a few. Because what the hell else do I have to write about, eh?

One day less than one year ago -- meaning, 364 days, or May 1, 2012 -- I started the Eek!Cards series of ecards that are mostly terrible ideas to send to people, and were probably equally awful ideas to have written down on the internet. With pictures.

Last night's Eek!Card was #265, and I've used them as placeholders on every day I don't post something else, which means in the 365 days (minus one day) since I started, I've also written 100 (minus one) blog posts. Not so shabby. And a nice round number.

(Minus one. Godammit.)

Of course, that's not all I've written in the past year. There were also 44 "Zolton" Facebook prank articles over at, whose plug was sadly pulled on April 1st. I've managed to salvage those -- and yes, I'm well aware that nobody asked me to, thank you very little -- and repost the entire series right here. So that's a thing.

"If my post count were the year, we'd all be driving space buggies and making out with aliens by now. Eat yer heart out, Commander Shepard."

(I also wrote the last of the series of Zolton Amazon prank articles, which came before the Facebook set, in early May of last year. Those are in the hopper, too, though I've got a long way to go in reformatting those. I'll keep you posted on the progress.

Whether you want me to or not. So nyah.)

Meanwhile, in six-and-a-half weeks, the blog turns a full ten years old. I won't quite make it to two thousand "main" posts in ten years -- this will be #1931, according to the software -- but with the article series, my old "100 Things Posts About Me" and other random bits of fluff, the number is well over 2k.

Over 2150, even. If my post count were the year, we'd all be driving space buggies and making out with aliens by now. Eat yer heart out, Commander Shepard.

I'm not sure where I'll go from here, exactly. The ZuG work (minus cleanup) is kaput, and perhaps a year of dubiously useful ecards is enough. Or more than enough. To paraphrase a movie line, "you had enough at 'hello'."

I'll keep posting nonsense here, sure, but maybe not every day. Or maybe there's some new series of thing or other I can get into. I tweeted a lot for a few weeks; that's a lot of fun. I could cross-post from a fake Twitter account pretending to be Ned Flanders' mustache. Or maybe I'll start vlogging humorous interpretive dances based on Fawlty Towers episodes.

Also, I'm open to suggestions. Because those ideas are idiots.

At any rate, there's a lot going on. At least, a lot has gone on, and will no doubt continue to do so. When and how often and why -- for the love of god, whyyyyyyyy? -- I can't really say. Tune in and see. We'll keep the blog on for ya.

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